vitaminwater®
140,752 followers
Youvia Women Football Club 
Michael Connolly 
Ashok Devanampriya 
gm to everyone except the ppl in my dms demanding i sponsor them hehe
it’s nov 6. don’t forget to set your clock down and smash it into a bafillion different pieces. time is dead – sip off forever.
starting my own social network. it’s just me delivering memes by carrier pigeon but it’s reliable
found the haunted victorian doll flavor and im o̶b̶s̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ p̵̨̛̼̮̝̜̌͛̄͜ͅo̸̗̫͛̐̎̀̽̕͜͝͠ͅs̸̘͓̩̻͚͙̣̟͙̔̾̐̍ś̶̛̠̭̈́̈́͐͆̒̏̑ȩ̷̡͇̫͖̥̩̹̐̈͛͝ș̷̨̘̹̐̉̆̀̈́͐ͅş̴̛̘͓͚̗͎͚̻̹̺̽́̅̿̕̚͝ȩ̵̧̤̘̜͓̦̘̈́͐̐̑͝͝ͅͅd̵̬̙̫̰̐́̃̂̒͗̈́̕͝
u witches need a last minute brew recipe? i got u
- newt’s eye
- single tear of ur mother’s worst enemy (it can be urs)
- tail feather of a monotonous lark
- zero sugar vitaminwater (the true witchcraft)
bringing these halloween treats to a party tn (casserole dish with vitaminwater bottles)
what do u get a boss who already has everything aka me as an employee
no more emails, if u want to reach me, u must first clap xxx times, stand on one foot and tag me with the vitaminwater flavor im thinking of
my boss always says there are no stupid questions but...what would u do if u woke up as a vitaminwater bottle?
put a finger down if ur already planning to be vitaminwater for halloween
boss says we need a twitter circle and i say we need a name for it first, what should we call it lmk
waiting for my boss to say “does anyone have anything else to add?” so i can explain the targaryen family tree in full
rt if i should tell my boss that their little trips to my office will now be treated as “meet-and-greets” and that’ll be $1000 thankyouverymuch
in:
vitaminwater baths
dino nuggies
petting opossums
out:
toxic exes
saying damp
forgetting to hit send
what i need to get started:
e r
n g
e y
y
yyyyyy
srsly tho can someone help me get this cap off.
when ur boss says to show up to work like u do on video calls #whatnottoweartowork
ive been told that virgo season is all about order and transformation like when you go from xxx to focus
“why does life give me the toughest battles” and the battle is being asked a question after spending the whole meeting on my phone
me: can you approve my expense report?
my boss: an iron throne isn’t appropriate office furniture
me: *grabs crown, stomps out*
watching the #vmas to try and take a break from work but all i keep seeing are these vitaminwater commercials…
nourish your “vibing” yous with vitaminwater ice. #nourisheveryyou
*me, explaining the birds and the bees* when a vitamin and a water love each other very much, they make a vitaminwater. any questions?
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