Victoria Coren Mitchell

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In my column this week, I explain why you should always sleep with your makeup on.…
Fantastic not fantasic. But I'd already deleted and replaced this message three times because of various incorrect hashtags and @'s and couldn't face doing it again. Honestly, it's a wonder I didn't qualify for vaccinations in JANUARY.
Tonight I’m hosting #HIGNFY. Ian’s guest is the brilliant @joshwiddicombe and, with Paul, a fantasic debut from @EmmaDabiri. BBC One, 9pm
I had my Covid jab yesterday, and I think I’m now suffering the effect that everyone describes as “a bit like having a hangover”. But it’s hard to tell because, coincidentally, I also have a hangover.
In my TV column today, I reveal my various run-ins with the rozzers, and why the Right should feel more at one with #BlackLivesMatter…
The first ever woman to win one of the UK’s major sporting events, racing’s Grand National says “I don’t feel male or female, I don’t even feel human. I feel unbelievable.” Rachel Blackmore wins a place in history & in the hearts of millions,beating a field of mostly male jockeys
Retweeted by Victoria Coren Mitchell
Happy Easter! But why is it “goolden” years? What’s the oo sound? Are they meant to be owl eggs?
Thanks so much for the lovely messages about Only Connect. At ease now; rest your weary brains and we’ll be back in a few months.
ONLY CONNECT FINAL TONIGHT! What a relief for all concerned. ... but it’s been a lovely series to make - lovely to be out the house frankly. Thanks to all the teams for being brave enough to take part (in two ways this year) and hope you enjoy it if you watch. 8pm @BBCTwo 🏆
In my TV column this week, I’m cowering behind a chair, then creeping out slowly for Promising Young Woman. Wait that sounds wrong…
I love the way, even though the answer is apparently on the screen, there’s still work to do! NO LET-UP!…
Mastermyrie! Welcome, new investigator. Union meetings are Wednesdays at 9. (Unfortunately the process of being asked one’s name at the door is so intimidating, no meeting has ever been quorate).…
At 8pm on @BBCTwo: the Only Connect third-place play-offs! Such a vital decider, it's often my favourite match of the series. In tonight's one, it's almost embarrassing how good a mood I'm clearly in from the start. #VitalDecider #CrucialQuizzing #ThirdTheOneWithTheHairyChest
Well, you would think so. If only for practical reasons.
In my TV column today I reveal the exciting fact that I have just been STAYING IN A HOTEL! A real one!…
Well I’ve always said we under-50s should be indoors shielding while the old folk get out there and keep the economy moving. *orders DVDs and buns*
(It was a sequence of dates leading towards 1st January 2000, and the maths all hold up, whatever you describe that date as being).
Delighted to see so many people insisting (after last night's Only Connect) that the new millennium started on 1st January 2001. We should perhaps have described 1/1/2000 as "the millennium celebration" rather than just "millennium". But the question was still correct!
Only Connect is on in about ten minutes! I feel I should have crafted this basic information into some kind of well-honed observation or joke! #topPRexpert #ohalsoitsonBBCTwo
Let’s not pretend this is a good day for women. I hope my neighbour Nazanin, in court alone without British Embassy support, will be treated more gently and respectfully by the Iranian authorities than the mourners at Clapham Common were treated by ours. Happy mothers’ day. 💐
In my TV column today, I’m talking about Grayson Perry and Hitler. @Philippa_Perry @Alan_Measles…
There’s an actor called Tom Holland now? Oh this is tremendously confusing.
There’s a child who thought her mother was coming home today after five years. But another trial is announced for next Sunday. Maybe that means our government has a week to figure out how to make the right thing happen? I know we are all sending love to that family. #FreeNazanin
I’m not saying I’ve had trouble sleeping lately but I’ve spent the last 40 minutes reflecting on how “cat flap” could be two different spoonerisms.
Nazanin is due to be released on Sunday. Please watch to see if that happens. The UK government could put this right. Too many innocent women are in prison, who just want to hold their children again. #FreeNazanin #BringThemHome
I don't usually tweet about world events - but my daughter used to play with Gabriella Ratcliffe, who is six years old and whose mummy has been in prison for five years. She never did anything wrong; it's just politics. All they want is to be back together, having a cuddle.
Also on Only Connect we'll be asking if Jews count as an ethnic minority. NO WE WON'T. BECAUSE WE ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS, NOT F***ING MORONIC ONES. #PoliticsLive
There's a classic Only Connect round one question tonight, with the clues being John McEnroe, Tigran Petrosian, Mikhail Gorbachev and Theresa May. It requires only a tiny bit of knowledge but a lot of lateral thinking. VERY SATISFYING WHEN YOU GET IT. @BBCTwo, 8pm.
This is absolutely brilliant. Everyone in government should read it! Honestly, I’m starting to think this guy is right about everything, except beer and when to put on the central heating.…
This is such a great message from Jonah Hill. I wore swimsuits with a skirt, FFS! Like it was 1860! And now I look back and think I looked lovely, *apart from the ridiculous costume*. Truth is, whatever you look like, in ten years you’ll look back and realise you were beautiful.…
In my TV column this week, I am gripped by @RevRichardColes and @Baddiel. Not literally. MORE’S THE PITY.…
Oh come on everyone! “....but he loves his dog”, surely?
Are you going to bother watching the TV broadcast tonight? Or do you feel like you’ve heard enough and it’s all a bit too bloody depressing to look at any more? Well, if you want to tune in, it’s at 8 o’clock on @BBCTwo
If I had a time machine, that is the moment I’d visit. Never mind the building of the pyramids, I’d just take that night again. ♥️…
@VictoriaCoren The cut-off point of the headline when you see your tweet in the main feed is, well...
Retweeted by Victoria Coren Mitchell
My TV column today has a long hard think about lady excavators. Quiet at the back.…
Mr Waley-Cohen says "Maybe we should have used the caption 'Labrosones' ", but Mr McGaughey says that would have confused more people. I've left the pair of them thrashing it out. And then they're going to discuss the issue of the caption.
...that was indeed the idea: "brass instruments" don't have to be made of brass, just as "woodwind instruments" don't have to be made of wood. See… I should have spelt this out in the programme, though. Sorry.
To those pointing out a shofar isn't made of brass (after last night's OC): quite right! I assumed at the time it was to do with the sound it makes, that "brass instruments" don't have to be literally made of brass - and having checked with the question editors this morning...
By the way, whenever I make jokes at the expense of Only Connect, or any of the teams who appear on it, it is always and without exception inspired by, and in tribute to, that great radio show @ISIHAClue and its peerless writer Iain Pattinson whose death was announced today. RIP.
Half term! And yet the hope of joyful diversion turns swiftly to disappointment as you realise we’re all still trapped in the same relentless, difficult, claustrophobic atmosphere. Only Connect is on at 8pm.
Aw, that’s nice. She seems lovely. I enjoyed that series a great deal. #TheMaskedSinger
Always a worry you won’t have heard of them. We’re hoping that Badger is Lord Sumption.
Whoever these people are, it’s going to be hard to beat Sue Perkins as a coup de theatre. That was the sweet spot in this house.
“Real Old School - Will Young.” Christ, I hope Tony Bennett isn’t watching. #TheMaskedSinger
Thanks to everyone who thought I was Harlequin, by the way. That is not how I would sound.
*Who’s that behind the mask..* 🎶
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