Vegan Tweeter (Alex)

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Changed all of my phone notification sounds to various Michael Barbaro “hm’s”. Feeling thoughtful AF.
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a new Olympic event where Simone Biles gets to punch her tiny and alarmingly powerful fists clean though every single one of our soft shitty American bodies and wins a bunch of gold medals for it.
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Studies have shown that literally every single person who had some shit to say about Simone Biles gets out of breath going up more than 8 stairs.
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bed bath & beyond: me: what’s the “beyond”? bed bath & beyond:
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I’ve never hated Tom Brady, because I don’t watch sports & since it seems like people hate him ‘cuz he’s really good at his job. But after finding out he supports Trump, I now hate him a lot, & I hope the team w/the racist name breaks him into small handsome pieces. #SuperBowl
Got vaxxed today! Easy, fast, safe. Way to go, NYC. Oh, and thanks, scientists! #IGotTheShotNYC #VaxxYourself #COVID19 #CovidVaccine #Moderna
Dear Trump: If I were a better person, I’d wish for your post-presidency life to be one of sudden moral clarity, humble reflection, or somber remorse. What I truly wish for your post-presidency life is that it be…brief. Fuck you forever, Trump. #TheEndOfAnError #TrumpsLastDay
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Look, I’m not trying to get ahead of myself here or anything, I’m just trying it on to see how it feels, ok? …”Minority Leader Mitch McConnell”. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it feels really, really good. #MinorityMitch
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Today, 12/12, marks 12 years being vegan for me. Going to celebrate by getting some delicious vegan junk food takeout, of course. Oh, and here are some beautiful animals I’ve hung out with at @FarmSanctuary, one of my absolute favorite places on earth. #veganniversary
There is a 74-year-old man pouting in the White House & he’s doing it on OUR TIME. We have been so gaslit by his behavior over the last 4 years that the most powerful person in the world slammed the door to his bedroom & won’t come out, and we’re like, “Yup, that’s just Trump!”
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Look, can’t we just stop (or continue?) counting the votes like Trump wants (or doesn’t want?) so that he can win (or lose?) like he’s going to (or isn’t going to?) so we can all relax (or set ourselves on fire?)
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg is going to be replaced by a woman who walked through every door that Ginsburg opened for her so she can promptly use her position to shut them all for others behind her.
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Trump-supporting family and friends: Please understand that I consider you neither of the latter due to the former. Sincerely fuck off forever, Me
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As much as I can't wait to help vote him out, I hope someone reminds Trump that there are still a few months left to be reasonable and just fucking die in office.
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I’m so tired of living in a world where Ruth Bader Ginsburg has cancer and Donald Trump doesn’t.
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Watching what police are doing right now - murdering black Americans, beating peaceful protestors, standing in formation against those fighting for justice… Can you imagine wanting to be one of them? Now, imagine the kind of person who WOULD. THAT’S the problem with police.
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How much you wanna bet that the only cure for the coronavirus is the sting of 1000 murder hornets, because THIS IS 2020 AND THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK NOW, OK?
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Friends! @myqkapkan - comedian, long-time vegan, and generally very good person - has released a new comedy album, at a time when such a thing sounds very useful and necessary. Check it out! (Also, very happy birthday to Rini!)…
Never meet your heroes, sure, but also, never look up what your favorite podcast hosts look like.
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Happy #WorldVeganDay! I’ve been #vegan almost 11 years; it’s the best thing I’ve done for animals, the environment, & my health. Hit me up if you’re looking for help going vegan, the best spots in NYC, or if you’d like to be the 8,298th person to ask where I get my protein.
Here at Vegandale on Randall’s Island in NYC along with 20,000 other vegans! Seriously the most vegan vendors and vegans I’ve ever seen in one place. #Vegandale
Every single thing about the placement of these two ads next to each other is the worst.
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Tim Ryan is definitely just Mark Zuckerberg in an old man suit, right? Like, look hard at his eyes and tell me I’m wrong.
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Beto O’Rourke is the kind of guy who you’re having an argument with and he tries to hug you WAY before the argument is over and you’re like, “Seriously?” And he’s like, “Oh, I’m sorry…I just thought…” And then he gets real quiet for a while.
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Celebrating my Billionth Second Birthday on @TheBrooklynBarg in Greenpoint! (Continuing my goal to generally spend as much time on boats as possible.) Couldn’t ask to spend it w/anyone better than my (extremely) pregnant and (moderately) seasick wife, Kiley! I love NYC.
Today at 6:28am, I finally reached my Billionth Second Birthday! Had to screenshot the moment I reached a billion. For some context: a million seconds is around 12 days. A billion seconds is 31.7 years. One trillion seconds is almost 32,000 years. #BillionthSecondBirthday
*whispers* “Good god, Nigel, would you take a look at the head of hair on that sad portly butler.” @realDonaldTrump
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I judge coffee shops in NYC on how apologetic their mandatory “no animals allowed inside except service animals” signs are. Bonus points for actual tear stains.
North Korea’s primary export is slightly off-kilter but overall fantastic insults.…
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Remember when John Adams totally trolled George Washington when he showed up at the cabinet meeting showing off his newly-knitted “President Washing-tights”?
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The Mueller Report really is quite heavily redacted in parts… #MuellersReport
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Current home away from home in Los Angeles // this vintage Airstream surrounded by birds of paradise blooms, complete with an avocado tree // feeling peak LA vibes, I think.
On the West Coast for a bit… 1st San Diego Airbnb // off-the-charts quaint/beachy, feat. a decidedly Dr. Seussian color palate.
National Cherry Blossom Festival at the Tidal Basin in DC! #CherryBlossoms #CherryBlossomFestival
Today my wife & I got to help a lovely Canadian man who was #blind or #lowvision change the time on his thermostat & install a new air filter, thanks to the @BeMyEyes app. He told us how valuable the app is for him navigating daily life. Get the app! #BeMyEyes #Accessibility
This time last year we were moving from our home on the Upper West Side to our new factory loft in Downtown Brooklyn. We've done a lot to make our new place feel like home, so here are some photos! Coming soon…new art, more plants, new @CaveTheatre posters…and a nursery.
A Short Story from Last Night in the East Village…as told to me by my Apple Watch notifications.
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Managed to catch the exact moment when this gent’s umbrella decided to leave this earthly realm… #nyc #polarvortex #polarvortex2019 #nycpolarvortex #polarvortextnyc #upperwestside #UWS #snowsquall
Alright, help me solve this vegan mystery, vegans of Twitter! Where’s the cholesterol coming from here? (Keeping in mind that cholesterol is only found in animal products.) I can’t figure it out!
Nothing makes me happier than getting an emoji text from someone who *perfectly* matched the 👍🏻👍🏼👍🏽👍🏾👍🏿 to their skin tone. And nothing makes me sadder than the fact that I’ve never even had to think about it.
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We hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season. We certainly are! With love, from our (growing) family! (New addition…est. June 2019.) We couldn’t be more excited!
Today, 12/12/2018, is my 10-Year #Veganniversary! It feels awesome to celebrate one full decade since making one of the best decisions of my life - to go vegan. #GoVegan #Veganniversary #10YearVegan
We did one of the coolest photo shoots I’ve done in a while for @CaveTheatre’s upcoming production of Tom Stoppard’s “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead” on this incredible, half-submerged pier in Brooklyn. Best part? Neither myself nor @JessieBangarang fell into the Atlantic.
On my way to Pittsburgh for all of 22 hours to see my lovely partner Kiley in @Gbgstageright’s production of Shrek! Can’t wait! See you tomorrow, NYC. ✈️
My @olivegarden Unlimited #PastaPass came today! (…does anyone else's do this?) 🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝�@petershankman�/
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