Taking a dog named Shark to the beach is probably a bad idea.
Mirrors don’t break, they just multiply.
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When you write, the only thing you are doing is drawing sounds.
Being rich must be like playing life with cheat codes on.
English teachers put more thought into a novel than the original author ever did.
The majority of us are only here to escape the loneliness of reality.
Rupert Grint Reveals Sad Reason He Can’t Watch Harry Potter After The Third Film!... twentytwowords.com/rupert-grint-r…
Sleeping is an 8 hour blink.
One day the world’s population was 6,969,696,969.
Despite there being infinite numbers, 0 is the halfway point.
When you are dead you do not know that you are dead, everybody else is just experiencing the pain. It Is the same when you’re stupid.
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Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles.
The saying “out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t apply when you are in your room and you catch a glimpse of a spider and then lose it.
If we can raise $600 million in 24hrs to rebuild a church, it shows that we could solve real world sh*t if we really wanted to.
Each time you light your lighter your lighter gets lighter until your lighter gets so light that it won’t light.
Typing the word “skepticism” is like playing Pong with your keyboard.
The sentence “Don’t objectify women” has “women” as the object of the sentence.
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People who marry this Saturday will have their 50th wedding anniversary on 4/20/69. Best motivation to hit 50 years there is.
People who say sex is the best feeling have never worn socks for 24 hours or more straight and took them off and scratched their ankle.
Of all the spiderman universes you could have been born in, you were born in the one where he is a fictional character.
Space is only 62 miles away. Which is like an hour long drive.
Most people are made on beds, born on beds and die on beds.
Anybody that is 5'8" is also technically 4'20"
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Maybe Earth’s like the uncontacted tribes in the Amazon, the whole Galaxy knows we’re here but they’ve agreed not to contact us.
I’m suicidal, but i’m also a procrastinator… so it just kinda works out.
When I listen to my voice on a recording, I wonder how I still have friends.
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We keep thinking of dinosaurs as these frightening and graceful creatures like dragons or unicorns are, but I bet they did a lot of stupid animal stuff, too. Like chasing bugs and tripping over things and farting themselves awake.
Every child is trained by their parents for a world that is one generation out of date.
The fact that Scooby Doo can talk and solve mysteries is far more terrifying than any of the villains.
Many superheroes wear a cape, but Dr. Strange’s cape wears a superhero.
If nothing is real and you’re just imagining everything, you’ve had some pretty good ideas.
When driving a car at 80 mph, looking at your phone for just one second makes you drive blind for 35 meters/114 feet.
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The most amazing thing about the MCU apart from the superpowers is the fact that english is the main language of 99% of the galaxy.
Technically, serotonin and dopamine are the only two things you enjoy.
Not being a Game of Thrones fan today feels like being a non-football fan on Super Bowl Sunday.
The night is the natural state of the universe, the day is just an anomaly caused by the sun.
The cure for cancer might be inside a mind that can’t afford his education and we would never know.
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Everyone at least once as a child tried to balance the light switch between on and off.
If porn videos started with 15 second, unskippable ads about consent and safe sex, they would probably teach more than most current sex ed classes
Your future self is talking shit about you.
Life is like a box of chocolates, halfway through you realise how much you hate yourself.
If dirty talk turns you on, your genitals are technically voice-activated.
If no-one is coming from the future to stop you then how bad of a decision can it really be.