A nice thing about getting older is that the world becomes increasingly fu*ked up which makes the idea of leaving it increasingly appealing.
A duck only has to meow once for you to question every quack.
Less and less people will know how beautiful a clear night sky is.
There is a sense of relief when you find out that someone is an asshole in general, and not just towards you.
0 isn't a number , It is a portal that all the numbers that pass through it became negative or positive.
You probably know more Latin, a dead language, then you do Mandarin, the most common native tongue.
If your significant other starts using your gibberish, you have their heart.
People who set multiple alarms have trust issues with themselves.
Most of the trash you see on the ground is unhealthy food packaging because people who don’t care about their own health don’t care about the Earth’s either.
One of the most frustrating feeling is when the aisles at grocery store you know gets rearranged..
"It's never too late to start" is a terrible mindset for procrastinators..
The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must have been like YOOOOOO....
I would get off my ass so much more if life had visible EXP bars and levels for all the skillsets I could acquire.
You legally have a family, you can legally have a partner and you can legally have children. However you never actually legally have any friends.
A person you know from your past remembers a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore.
It's sad how quickly the age of information turned to the age of wilful ignorance.
The boomers were the last generation to have an easier life than their parents.
I think a ghost tried to steal my McLaren the other night 😂👻arV
Scooby Doo must be a therapy dog. Shaggy takes him everywhere and Scooby always reacts to Shaggy’s stress.
Maybe humans get "hangry" because it's their body trying to shift them into hunting mode.
If you made $1 every second from birth, you’d be a millionaire in under 2 weeks and a billionaire in your thirties. But unless you live to be 3500 you’ll never be as wealthy as Jeff Bezos.
Nobody argues with scientists when they say an eclipse is gonna happen, but as soon as one mentions the planet is getting warmer…
You will enjoy most things until you are forced to do them.
So people acting stupid in a zombie movie was a realistic portrayal of human behaviour after all..
Millennials get blamed for participation trophies when the Boomers invented and executed the concept.
If you would rate your partner a 10/10, it simplifies into 1, thus you have found the 1 for you.
When you buy a bigger bed you have more bed room and less bedroom.
Your body is made of cells, which are made of atoms, which are made of quarks and electrons, which are just vibrations in energy field. Your entire existence is based on vibration. You are a vibrator.
An “A” is an “H” that gave itself a high five. An “X” is an “H” that tried to give itself a high-five but missed.
One of the biggest goals of adulthood is to make enough money to be as carefree as you were when you were a child.
You’ve probably passed a pigeon on the street with the same birthday as you.
Saying you sold an hour of your life for $15 sounds a lot worse than saying you work for $15 an hour.
Replying “k” in morse “-.-”, has the same passive aggressive tone.
Yeah sex is cool but have you ever slept without a blanket and woken up to find yourself covered with one.
Pizza is an acceptable meal at any time of the day.
Marriage is the ultimate co-op game.
Someday, no one is going to know shrek even existed.
The fear of going into forest at night isn't from fear of being alone, but rather the fear that you aren't.
All you need is a certain smell to bring your thoughts back to even your childhood..
Telling a depressed person to be happy bcoz they're loved is like telling someone with asthma to breathe bcoz there's oxygen around them!!
Rich people get criticised more for donating a small amount than not donating at all.
Animals that have suffered abuse almost never regain the trust of humans, yet we expect people who have been through similar abuse to go about their daily lives normally surrounded by other humans.
The reason why you haven’t found your soul mate is because maybe you don’t have a soul.
If people one day woke up and became Happy with themselves, imagine how many industries would run out of business.
I often go months without finding new music I like, then discover five great songs in one day.
Cactus are the most antisocial plant, they grow in the middle of the desert and still like, “Don’t f*cking come near me”.