The School of Life

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Anger is rarely helpful; it usually masks more fundamental (and understandable) emotions that we would be better off expressing. Sign up to our newsletter to download our 'Lessons in Calm' activity sheet: ow.ly/QNYQ50KeNeg
Join The School of Life at Foyles bookshop London at 7 pm BST on the 15th September for a unique and fascinating evening of conversation to celebrate the launch of A Therapeutic Atlas: Destinations to Inspire and Enchant. Learn more: ow.ly/e1tH50KkaPv
Behind many of our problems lies an often ignored factor: we don’t like ourselves very much. 'On Self-Hatred' is a guide to emotional healing and living a more self-accepting life. Learn more about how you can download a free extract now: ow.ly/pOXi50Kl6xv
The clarity of midnight: the capacity to think well is inversely related to the number of people in the area who are awake.
Why We Shouldn't Fear Asylums: For us, a priority is that we shouldn't end up in a psychiatric hospital — what used to be called an asylum. We are – for understandable reasons – deeply wedded to the idea of our sanity... Read more: theschooloflife.com/article/why-we…
However healthy it often is to try to fit in and assume we must just be like everyone else, there are also benefits in sometimes accepting that we might in the end not be and this needn’t be a cause of concern or shame. youtu.be/ErgTqetjEjg
Far more than we are inclined to accept and sometimes even realise, we are creatures of mood: we are prone to emotional fluctuation. Download free exercises to learn lessons in calm and help manage your moods: ow.ly/rPnc50KeLVq
We may need occasionally to despair of someone - as the price to pay for keeping faith with ourselves.
What Teddy Bears Teach Us About Love: One reason why our love for our bears tends to be so strong and so rewarding comes down to a paradoxical but telling detail: how little we expect of them. Read more: ow.ly/mvvO50KjKBl
Love is the effort required to imagine oneself more accurately into the life of another human who has not made it in any way easy to admire or even like them.
It’s entirely normal to feel anxious; rather than trying to hide our fears, we should take steps to build a more liveable relationship with our anxiety. Sign up to our newsletter to download our 'Lessons in Calm' activity sheet: ow.ly/opTK50KeN2c
One of the trickiest tasks we ever face is that of working out who we really are. If we're asked directly to describe ourselves, our minds tend to go blank. Download free exercises to help you understand yourself and your relationships better: ow.ly/URv550KeLLZ
How To Get Your Parents Out of Your Head: One of the most difficult things about being human is how easily influenced we are by our childhoods — and more particularly, our parents... Read more: ow.ly/lhzP50KeMs7
We end up lonely because it seems so implausible to us that other people might be lonely too.
What The Villas of Despots Teach Us About Pride: This was Joseph-Désiré Mobutu’s favourite of the three pools in his $100 million, 15,000 square-metre palace... Read more: ow.ly/PU7N50KeMmz
The only people we can think of as normal are those we don't yet know very well.
This is a book that, with immense compassion and fellow feeling, investigates the phenomenon of self-hatred while giving pragmatic advice on how to overcome it. Out now: theschooloflife.com/shop/on-self-h…
Sign-up to The School of Life for Business newsletter and we’ll send you a free chapter of our book How to Get on with Your Colleagues, on dealing with a defensive teammate: ow.ly/wPxx50K6vzF
The Benefits of Forgetfulness: We complain that we have bad memories. But what might count as a rank nuisance on a practical level turns out to be an unparalleled blessing on an emotional one... Read more: theschooloflife.com/article/the-be…
‘On Self Hatred’ is a guide to the more compassionate and gentle relationship we should have had with ourselves from the start. Out now: theschooloflife.com/shop/on-self-h…
If we were properly sane, rather than being at once overwhelmed by the thought that we had found the one, we would calmly reflect: ‘they seem nice enough and it will take 25 years to know more.'
The True Cause of Dread and Anxiety: The dominant emotions we experience daily are those of dread and anxiety. The fears that stalk us may appear diverse, but they can at points be useful to generalise our condition. Read more: ow.ly/R4EP50IsuGH
Behind many of our problems lies an often ignored factor: we don’t like ourselves very much. This is a book that investigates the phenomenon of self-hatred, while giving pragmatic advice on how to overcome it. 'On Self Hatred' is available now: ow.ly/BhnL50KcIjV
Part of the pain of growing older is that we can start to see what the costs of missing self-knowledge were and how beautiful it could be if we could just build ourselves a time machine and go back and correct all our mistakes. youtu.be/in9MC2bFttU
Far more than we are inclined to accept and sometimes even realise, we are creatures of mood: we are prone to emotional fluctuation. Download free exercises to learn lessons in calm and help manage your moods: ow.ly/rPnc50KeLVq
How To Handle an Envious Friend: Almost inevitably, somewhere along the path of our friendships, we are fated to stumble upon one of the most paradoxical yet universal of characters: the envious friend... Read more: ow.ly/ywLb50KeJCK
Those who are unlucky in love (choosing unsuitable partners over and over) are often suffering from self-hatred. Unable to believe in their own worth, they choose partners who’s cruelty confirms their negative self-beliefs. 'On Self Hatred' is out now: theschooloflife.com/shop/on-self-h…
One of the trickiest tasks we ever face is that of working out who we really are. If we're asked directly to describe ourselves, our minds tend to go blank. Download free exercises to help you understand yourself and your relationships better: ow.ly/Icez50KeLM6
It takes time and experience to realise that we cannot in the end rescue anyone - at best just facilitate certain moves they were on their way to making anyway.
‘On Self-Hatred’ helps us learn how to overcome our masochism and move towards self-forgiveness and accepting the relationship we should have had with ourselves from the start. Out now. Learn more: ow.ly/Izuu50K9nZJ
How to Be Comfortable on Your Own in Public: Eating alone in public can be one of the great hurdles of psychological life. It can be an exceptional trial, as it forces us to challenge thoughts we successfully push to the back of consciousness. Read more: ow.ly/SHgX50ImYbg
Loneliness as a Sign of Depth: For a certain group among us, it’s fair to say that a great deal of our lives is spent asking the same question: Why am I so lonely? Read more: ow.ly/jXqv50J48Sf
Varieties of Melancholy: an insightful and consoling guide to the melancholic state of mind. Available from Amazon.com, Bookshop.org and all good bookstores. Out now in the US: ow.ly/kvSV50K9lvF
Perhaps the most instructive question we can ask of a good friend - the question that teaches us most about where we might have lost perspective - is simply: what do I need to be teased about?
High achievers cannot accept that they are worthy of love independent of their accomplishments: they pursue success as a balm against self-hatred 'On Self Hatred' out now: ow.ly/Rk6w50KcoY7
Sign-up to The School of Life for Business newsletter and we’ll send you a free chapter of our book How to Get on with Your Colleagues, on dealing with a defensive teammate: ow.ly/wPxx50K6vzF
How Emotionally Healthy Are You?: Assessing how badly we have been knocked by our early years is to identify a range of markers of emotional health and imagine how we fare in relation to them. Read more: theschooloflife.com/article/how-em… theschooloflife.com/article/self-l…
Self-acceptance lies not in denying but acknowledging our many flaws and weaknesses as an inevitable part of being human. ‘On Self-Hatred’ teaches us how to achieve self-acceptance. Learn more: theschooloflife.com/shop/on-self-h…
Varieties of Melancholy: an insightful and consoling guide to the melancholic state of mind. Available from Amazon.com, Bookshop.org and all good bookstores. Out now in the US: ow.ly/kvSV50K9lvF
The antidote to self-hatred, we’re often told, is self-love. But self-acceptance lies not in denying, but acknowledging our many flaws and weaknesses. 'On Self Hatred' is out now: ow.ly/zaJY50KaLec
Trying to Be Kinder to Ourselves: One generalisation we can hazard of those who end up mentally unwell, we could say that they are masters at being very nasty to themselves without noticing they are even being so. Read more: theschooloflife.com/article/trying…
The cure for self-hatred does not lie in heightening self-love, but in fostering self-acceptance. ‘On Self Hatred’ is out now. Learn more: ow.ly/buy750K9mQO
The true test of moral character: how we treat people who can do nothing for us.
Many of us spend a great deal of our lives asking, week after week, always with the same blend of frustration, despair and puzzlement: Why am I so lonely? The real answer is likely to be far less punitive and in its way far more logical… youtu.be/2QuptORKT8U
Need help with navigating your emotions and moods? Learn more about how you can receive a free exercise: ow.ly/TnbU50JPOTg
Rupture and Repair: Every relationship is at risk of moments of frustration, when we suffer a loss of trust in another person as someone in whom we can safely deposit our love, and whom we believe can be kind and understanding of our needs. Read more: ow.ly/ZBO350JPJSS
Varieties of Melancholy: an insightful and consoling guide to the melancholic state of mind. Available from Amazon.com, Bookshop.org and all good bookstores. Out now in the US: ow.ly/kvSV50K9lvF
Our regular routines are so full and hectic that it is only during the all-too-infrequent breaks — our holidays and vacations — that we are finally able to offer a book our undivided attention. Shop audio and eBooks: ow.ly/nnC650K6uIu
Mental health is a miracle we are apt not to notice until it slips from our grasp – at which point we may wonder how we ever managed to do anything as complicated and beautiful as order our thoughts sanely and calmly. Learn more: ow.ly/1ZA850J90E8
Most of our childhood is stored not in photos, but in certain biscuits, lights of day, smells, textures of carpet.
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