Texts From Last Night
3,318,359 followers
Freedom Media Ethics 
Leon Carrington 
Douglas Taurel 
In no particular order of hilarity or utter randomness. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/18/mor…
(817):
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
hey man. do you have about three hours to answer some questions about your shirt
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night 
Toothpaste is shampoo for your bones
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night (405):
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
(1-405):
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. True happiness comes from making bizarre impulse purchases online, not from another person.
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night I mean, they *could* have, but in our expert opinion...not so much... pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/17/thi…
You're probably thinking "what do all of these pictures even have in common?" Well, I'll tell you: absolutely nothing. And that's the way we like it. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/17/wee…
Wish I could nail costumes this good. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/17/bes…
The phone charger be right there and I still don't feel like plugging it in 😂
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night (201):
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
(765):
Does it come with a cage?
(201):
yes. and food and toys.
(765):
i'll trade you an 8th for it
(201):
deal.
Cute and funny at the same time. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/15/fun…
🤗 25+ People Sharing Good News And Wholesome Moments From This Weekpltdjns.com/nv9Jw
men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and have eye contact
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night (812):
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
(1-812):
All of them
if you write “keep it together, man” without the comma you end up creating a new superhero named “keep it together man” and frankly if there’s one guy we need right now it’s him.
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night So many funny jokes to choose from, but we think we got the top ones, for the most part. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/16/fun…
Just some good old (mostly) wholesome hilarity to go with your morning coffee. pleated-jeans.com/2021/10/16/fun…
triscuits would be three sided. these are quadscuits
Retweeted by Texts From Last Night He let these thoughts plague him for an entire year. ruinmyweek.com/trending/showe…
"no matter what I do people are going to talk about my body" ruinmyweek.com/trending/halse…
her: baby shower sunday, can you make it?
me: I’ll try
[later]
Home Depot guy: this is the smallest tile we have buddy
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