VeryBritishProblems

All Photos Twitter.com 16 hours ago
Damn all you people learning about the beginning of England. Squares. amzn.to/3y5NoOA
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Is it too early in the year to expect an offer of a mince pie with every cup of tea?
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One of the bestselling tops in the shop, which says a lot about Britain at the moment (free delivery until Sunday at midnight) verybritishproblemstshirts.com/product/so-tir…
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What British garages are for: Rubbish Bins Lawnmowers Old clothes Barbecues when not in use Cardboard boxes Tools Bicycles Mice Empty bottles Random furniture What they’re not for: Cars
20h
Being told “I think it’s somewhere in the garage” when inside the garage looks like a bomb went off in a charity shop
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Well, happy October to you all 🎃 May your chocolate treats be spooktacular and may your heating not have to be turned on much.
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That includes the new range of VBP Motivational Posters! verybritishproblemstshirts.com
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Started your Christmas shopping yet? No? Well today’s the day - and oh look it’s free delivery on all in the VBP shop (until midnight Sunday) verybritishproblemstshirts.com/product/dont-a…
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You know the person sending the email is absolutely outraged when you see the word “per” has been wheeled out.
It’s free delivery on all in the VBP shop - until Sunday at midnight. Including new poster designs! verybritishproblemstshirts.com
Life at the moment is like Monopoly, except the only squares are utilities, free parking doesn’t exist, there’s no extra £200, mortgages aren’t on offer, Monopoly money is worth about as much as real money, you’re not allowed to stop playing and there’s absolutely no chance.
Just a little unboxing video of the Very British Problems Quiz Book for you 📦 amzn.to/3E303plZN
Ways to miss a delivery: 1. Leave the house for seconds 2. Go to the bathroom 3. Stay in all day and wait by the front door in silence 4. Open the delivery company’s app and press anything, thereby changing your delivery preference to “never”
The new range of Very British Problems Motivational Posters (and it’s free delivery on all in the shop - ends midnight Sunday!) verybritishproblemstshirts.com
Retweeted by VeryBritishProblems
Oh god it’s October tomorrow. Sounds ominous.
Waking up every day playing “covid or cold?”
The new range of Very British Problems Motivational Posters (and it’s free delivery on all in the shop - ends midnight Sunday!) verybritishproblemstshirts.com
"You should pop round sometime" - Meaning: If you knock on my door unannounced I will stay very still until I hear you leave.
Well, the 20s have been a bit of a downer so far, haven’t they?
I’m quite proud of this. A very handsome and jolly book. bit.ly/3fxJ4l6
Retweeted by VeryBritishProblems
“Have you seen the news?” ”Let me guess, everything’s really, really bad?” ”That’s pretty much word-for-word what they said, yeah”
What’s your favourite pub quiz team name? (In honour of the new VBP Quiz Book bit.ly/3dPOh71)
Retweeted by VeryBritishProblems
“It’s next on my list!” There is no list.
The Very British Problems calendars: monthly topics always apt. (2023: bit.ly/3y1nWKd)
“Sorry I’m not really a morning person…” Or an afternoon person, or an evening person for that matter. More of a bed person.
“I’m really stressed, it’s proving to be a very hard day, I don’t know how to cope, I’m so tired” A British person: “I think you need a mug of hot brown leaf water”
What’s your favourite pub quiz team name? (In honour of the new VBP Quiz Book bit.ly/3dPOh71)
“Have you had a chance to read my email?” “When did you send it?” “Just now” “Well… I guess we’ll have to go with ‘no’ in that case, won’t we?”
The new Very British Problems Quiz Book is nearly upon us! You’ll love it. Click here to order yours now, from a huge range of book shops: bit.ly/3dPOh71
“I’m not sure I follow” - Translation: What on Earth are you going on about?
“I’ve actually got quite a lot done today” - Translation: I did two whole things.
Motorway service stations (New book! amzn.to/3UHqFlSh)
Things that happen 1 minute before a Zoom meeting: 1. Your software decides it’s time to update itself 2. Your headphones will cease to exist 3. You develop a cold 4. Vigorous door knocking - delivery! 5. You forget how to communicate like a normal human
6 When your food hasn’t arrived but everyone else’s has 7 When someone’s talking far too close to your face
Times when it’s hard to concentrate on a conversation 1 When there’s one roast potato left 2 When someone’s making tea like an amateur 3 When a guest sits in your usual sofa spot 4 While noticing a table in a busy pub is about to become free 5 When someone has food on their face
The most excited you’ll ever be before winning £2.
A British person as they’re being shot from a giant space cannon, directly into the centre of the sun: “It is what it is”
Best thing to do after mowing lawn: Stand inside and stare at lawn.
What would be a Very British name for the next Bond film?
"Okay, everyone happy?" No, but if I say so this meeting might not end.
“How are you?” “Getting there” “Getting where?” “You’re not meant to ask that”
Aside from the new VBP Quiz book amzn.to/3f00ypE)
What do you want for Christmas?
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