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Your intensity of love doesn't guarantee faithfulness.
Just because you miss someone doesn't mean they are deserving to be in your life. For your brain, It's just familiarity and it feels uncomfortable and anxious when it cannot sense that. Sometimes, You need to feel uncomfortable to grow and to get out of toxic relationships.
Be it shouting or staying calm, Be it going to the gym or overeating, We are trying to give ourselves back the control we feel missing because of a situation. By giving our life a purpose, We can be more conscious of the coping mechanism we subconsciously follow.
Don't hate the idea of relationships or marriage! Yeah, Solitude is good and helps you achieve a lot of great things but marriage or relationships aren't bad either. They teach you a lot of things including understanding, patience and commitment which solitude doesn't.
When you are too focused on the outcome, you will either give up when the challenge is too difficult or would constantly be living with anxiety. When you fall in love with the process, you wouldn't mind the outcome. The outcome would then be just an input to the learning.
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