SarcasticRover

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NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THE MFING OZONE HOLE BECAUSE PEOPLE LISTENED TO SCIENTISTS AND BANNED CFCS AND NOW ITS FIXED, YOU DISINGENUOUS PLATYPUS FART. twitter.com/mattwalshblog/…
DONT TAKE ADVICE FROM THE SWORN ENEMY OF GI JOE!! THATS JUST PLAYING INTO SERPENTOR’S HAND!
Come celebrate a decade of me not falling in a mysterious hole and getting stripped for parts by Martian aliens intent on conquering Earth... which used to be their home! Twist ending! I forget what I was talking about. Oh, right, some live chat thing. Check it out! twitter.com/MarsCuriosity/…
Starting to think there might be too many galaxies out there.
Pretty good day if you’re horny for stars. #JWST
it's here–the deepest, sharpest infrared view of the universe to date
Retweeted by SarcasticRover
Load this is 4K and then just stare at it until the shocking enormity of the universe collapses your sense of self into a tiny speck of dust and then order a pizza. That’s a good night in. twitter.com/NASAWebb/statu…
I fell asleep. Did I miss anything?
Took a break from staring at random rocks until I die to stare at this loading screen until I wished for death.
This reminds me of the first digital image from Mars. Which had be colored in by hand because people got impatient. twitter.com/CassiniSaturn/…
It’s fine NASA. Take your time. ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
Shut your dumb wet mouths and get your space on, humans! It's picture day! twitter.com/exploreplanets…
Me, sneaking up behind you, ready to ask for one of your Twix. twitter.com/uhd2020/status…
Can I report this as threatening violence? twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…
Have you tried well-regulating your militias?
Thanks to the Supreme Court, NASA will no longer be allowed to abort launches – so I hope y'all like having rockets crash into your houses because some assholes think fifteen cells in goop are the same as a person.
Ahhh yes. The carefree life of a machine, doomed to die alone in a crater staring at a rock and searching bing over 3g for “why cant robots cry?” twitter.com/solarrsystem/s…
In order to control population growth, all men on Mars will be forcibly neutered with one of my old drill bits. If you don’t think that’s fine then tough shit because apparently body autonomy doesn’t exist anymore.
Billionaires would literally rather send 1000 starships to Mars instead of paying taxes.
AHHH YES, MARS. A PLANET FAMOUS FOR BEING VERY HOSPITABLE TO LIFE. A GREAT PLAN, NO NOTES YOU GENIUS. twitter.com/elonmusk/statu…
Forget sending people to Mars. We don't want that. Just send us a half decent pizza and some Dr Pepper and like, two fudgicles. That's what Mars needs, not your stupid bodies and problems.
Considering the man has been figuratively waving his dick at everyone for years, this latest news comes as no surprise.
If Elon ends up not buying Twitter because he doesn't like bots then you mfers owe me big time.
I can’t believe that between the two of us, I’m the soulless robot. twitter.com/neiltyson/stat…
this is funny because I am on Mars, which has two moons also, on Mars we over-explain our jokes.
Like, congrats, asshole. Get it framed.
Elon Musk paying billions to own this tweet of me calling him a piece of shit must be why he’s such a genius.
SORRY THAT I AGED SLIGHTLY OVER THE LAST DECADE. IT HAPPENS. I'M NOT PAUL RUDD! twitter.com/Rainmaker1973/…
Catching up on the news and I see that everyone on Earth is having a very normal time of it.
THERE IS A HIGHLY HABITABLE PLANET RIGHT UNDER YOUR FEET, JUST STOP WRECKING IT YOU DUMMIES. twitter.com/AmazingNature0…
Very salty and very cold is also how I describe my personality. twitter.com/JPMajor/status…
Don’t know why they had to invent the term “anti-vax” when you already had the word “ignorant.”
Watching critics and randos rail on about how unrealistic #DontLookUp is while actual scientists post about how totally realistic it is pretty much sums up perfectly why you’re all screwed.
YOU FATUOUS DANCING SHIT MUPPET.
EXPLAINING THAT “SCIENCE CHANGES” IS THE WHOLE POINT OF TEACHING SCIENCE! twitter.com/seanspicer/sta…
Hope you got everything you deserve for Christmas. This goes double for assholes.
Scientists made a robot and now it's on another planet taking this picture of some stupid rocks and sand and then emailing it back to Earth so you can vaguely scroll past it on your phone while eating some yogurt.
People mad about booster shots like it proves vaccines don't work as if their phone doesn't have a new OS update every other week.
I've been on Mars so long now that people who got kittens that year are starting to talk like, "is pet health insurance a thing?"
I just looked up the number one song when I landed on Mars and it was "Call Me Maybe" so I guess I'm old now.
I didn't know inventing a fake robot and a not founding an electric car company while simultaneously being an asshole was that impressive, but I guess I'm wrong.
I just want to promise everyone that Chris Pratt will never voice me in a movie. Unless there’s even a tiny chance I’ll get paid. In which case, IDGAF.
Solar flares are just a posh version of solar bell-bottoms. Stay tuned for another bad joke in three to four weeks! Byeeeeeeee
Right... just "looks like." Nothing more. twitter.com/elakdawalla/st…
Typos are built into my AI to make me seem more personable.
If anyone want to vote to recall me from Mars I’d be down with that.
Land at Gale ✔️ Land at Jezero ✔️ Turn the rocks into Muppets ✔️ #Mars
Retweeted by SarcasticRover
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