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Patton Oswalt

Mickey Rourke; Ricky, Mork For more great content like this, visit my new Patreon at (gunshot)
If this isn’t every aspiring actor’s audition monologue come Monday then I just don’t know. twitter.com/basedjesus/sta…
On behalf of me and @leslieodomjr, thank you. It means a lot to us. twitter.com/MeredthSalenge…
Dear Christians who support Trump: please watch this. He is 100% conning you and does not believe what you believe. LISTEN to what he says here. HOW is this your guy? twitter.com/tylerhuckabee/…
Happy birthday, Lexi. A little slower, but just as dangerous. twitter.com/Lexialex/statu…
This handy chart from @RialMichelle is a must for all would-be artists and creators. twitter.com/TheRialMichell…
If I said Mexicans were rapists, my career would be over. If I said Nazis were good people, my career would be over. If I bragged about sexual assault, my career would be over. If I said I was the chosen one, I would be institutionalized. I’m a fucking actor.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
This is the night I’m taping my new Netflix special. Quite a sweepstakes! twitter.com/blumenthalarts…
Get with #GreenShirtGuy. This is a great thing he’s doing, and I wanna signal-boost it 4 days in to give it another bump. #defendsanctuary twitter.com/alex_kack/stat…
YES! @bgproudfoot has a wonderful new short doc! "The King of Fish and Chips"! This one will make you VERY VERY HUNGRY. vimeo.com/355126055?ref=…
Look people, do not ever worry about Donald Trump’s leadership—I once played the Parker Brothers board game Risk without knowing any of the rules and I still won because I was the only person who did not pass out from eating tainted Dollar Store clams
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Did you just say “American Jews don’t know what they’re doing or saying”? You anti-Semitic race stoking piece of shit! You have unleashed the worst hatred this country has seen in decades on every demographic. You really are trying to dismantle America and its values! #resign! twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Alice: What was 2016 - 2020 like, dad? Me: A fat racist would say stupid shit and we’d argue about it on our phones all day.
I LOVE how the @AlamoDC has “VHS-ified” all of the trailers in front of tonight’s VIDEO VORTEX screening.
You are trying to get an American Congresswoman killed, you absolute psychopath. twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
SO proud of my friend @aliontheair for her BIG WIN at the @shenyc_arts Theater Festival! Whoooooooooo!!!!! twitter.com/aliontheair/st…
talent agencies are really underestimating how excited writers are to have any social event canceled twitter.com/deadline/statu…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Thank you Patton! And thanks to Hollyshorts Film Festival for giving our film best comedy award! It plays this Friday at Nevada City Film Fest in Scenic Nevada City Ca! twitter.com/pattonoswalt/s…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Had an AMAZING time making this film. I’ve been a huge fan of @tomjstern and his da da weirdness since the old IDIOT BOX days on MTV. Such a fun, brilliant mind. twitter.com/filmthreat/sta…
👇👇👇PLEASE READ THIS THREAD�twitter.com/johnastoehr/st…hVu0Hg
One of my favorite Kip Adotta memories — seeing him on @billmaher’s Politically Incorrect in the 90s, and during one of the discussions he said, “I have no knowledge of this subject so I’ll speak at length.” #RIPKipAdotta
Hands down, Peter Falk in WINGS OF DESIRE, with that added-on metaphysical gut-punch at the end. twitter.com/bwdr/status/11…
Just took my daughter & her friends to see ALADDIN at the @kencen. Amazing, and @MajorAttaway is a FORCE OF NATURE. Go see it if you can. Wow!
He certainly would. Oh, you were talking about the... ...uh, never mind. twitter.com/zandywithaz/st…
50 years ago today, in Bethel, NY, Sha Na Na performed a concert for more than 400,000 people that electrified a generation. Opening acts included The Who, Janis Joplin and The Grateful Dead. #woodstock
Half of the proceeds from Tuesday night’s OZONE screening at the @AlamoDC support @brhs Debate Club! twitter.com/metacomedy1/st…
Doesn’t matter if neither of us agree on anything. He owned a big fuck-up on his company’s part — a rare thing these days. I should’ve been elevated about it instead of sinking to vengeance. So I’m owning my part of it. twitter.com/shacklefordesq…
You know what? I AM being an asshole. This was the fourth artist friend of mine I’d seen plagiarized in as many weeks and I let rage get the better of me — and I aimed my rage at the wrong person. You’re being honorable and I accept your apology. Deep breath. twitter.com/jeremydboreing…
Oh my GOD. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Lookit the sad, dress-up wannabe alpha. The Proud Boys are Rocky Horror for incels. twitter.com/walterfbiela/s…
Fuck, you’re right. Lost the context in the thread. Deleting now! twitter.com/jackallisonlol…
Absolutely. Good on @JeremyDBoreing for issuing his lawsuit-dodging, bullshit mea culpa after his NEWS ORGANIZATION failed at doing the simplest due diligence imaginable. Surprise, asshole! twitter.com/labsftw/status…
Still amazed at how great John Travolta was in Ti West’s IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE. He’s the “villain” even though he’s not-all-the-way evil. You forget how beyond charming that guy can be. Plus he and Tommy Nohilly have a scene together that is ART.
And thank YOU @mrbobodenkirk for showing me my first Dolemite film back in 1994. Nerd gathering in your old apartment on Sierra Bonita. Everyone was gobsmacked. twitter.com/mrbobodenkirk/…
You guys stole this image from @100soft. You’re profiting from someone else’s labor and creativity. VERY on-brand for you ghouls. In the meantime, everyone please visit 100soft.shop and buy lots of stuff. This guy’s work is amazing. Thank you. twitter.com/realdailywire/…
THIS TUESDAY, August 20th! I’m doing a screening of OZONE as part of ⁦@AlamoDC⁩’s “Video Vortex” series! I’ll intro the film and we’ll all talk about it after! Click below for tickets! drafthouse.com/show/video-vor…
👇👇👇👇👇I know a lot of talented artists and this happens WAY too much and I am absolutely not surprised @realDailyWireyWire doingtwitter.com/100soft/status…Qglrj
 
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