Patton Oswalt

All Photos Twitter.com 3 hours ago
I’m dumb but why haven’t the Dems codified roe and marriage equality and all the stuff they knew would be immediately dismantled by the fundies should they have control? NAIL IT ALL DOWN
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
4h
Even if Obergefell is safe—and I have my doubts—I hope straight people understand how degrading and humiliating it is to have your ability to marry your loved one be debated.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
5h
It's 23.15 and I've just discovered I had a bit of toothpaste on the top of my head all day.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
8h
It’s the recipe of all our dreams! 🐀👩‍🍳 Celebrate Ratatouille’s 15th anniversary by cooking the iconic title dish from the filwJy
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
9h
Welcome to DUDE BRO PARTY MASSACRE III, dude! The insane and amazing frat slasher spoof starring @gregsestero and @pattonoswalt is streaming instantly right here: ▶️bit.ly/3uctNdD twitter.com/bloodyflicks/s…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
12h
Life in America is just hearing white people every year going “Wow, I knew America was messed up, but not THIS messed up!” for the next few decades and then you die
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
13h
“Houston on fire. Will history blame me, or the bees?” twitter.com/nextontcm/stat…
13h
❤️🐀❤️🐀❤️🐀❤twitter.com/lizlet/status/…8EZb
14h
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ twitter.com/thevaultcomics…
14h
The fact that we don’t have a standalone movie about Reverend Brown and Randy Watson — maybe mockumentary style? — is a crime against comedy. twitter.com/rexchapman/sta…
15h
What a cool concept, brilliantly rendered. Great storytelling and top shelf @philnoto art!!! Can’t wait to see where this goes! twitter.com/gailsimone/sta…
16h
We will adopt your baby.
The discovery of the Burger King’s burial chamber is perhaps one of the most important archaeological finds of this century twitter.com/realjezebelley…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Honored to be submitted for Emmy consideration by #AtlantaFX and whatnot and so forth, etcetera. Thank you @donaldglover and @MuraiHiro for a wonderful time. Should we split that shit, @TaikaWaititi?
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
ICYMI: Get a peek inside the upcoming MINOR THREATS! Hear from @pattonoswalt and @BlumJordan on their creator-owned series: twitter.com/CBR/status/154…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
“They’re not here to hurt me.” Hmmm. Riddle me this: Who were they there to hurt? #January6thHearings
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
No. There are plenty of sane people everywhere and punishing them for geography makes no sense. Gonna donate some of the $$$ from those shows to @PPFA & @NARAL twitter.com/katrinacharlto…
Donald Trump didn’t just send them after us, he wanted to join them. Un-fucking believable!
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Everything’s terrible except for this teacher going on Reddit and learning how much her students love her
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I was there right before the pandemic at the @theryman. It was a dream. I will DEFINITELY be back. twitter.com/slowagon/statu…
I’ve been away from Toronto and @masseyhall waaaay too long! I can’t wait!!! twitter.com/nowtoronto/sta…
they're never going to forgive this women for being braver than them twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/st…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Oh! Do you want a cross-examination and a court? Merrick Garland, Trump's down with prosecution.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
“Their star witness” ??? Wrong. Your own staffer just checkmated Trump’s credibility. Your side tried to violently overthrow the government. This is what accountability looks like. twitter.com/judiciarygop/s…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Apple would be crazy not to use them in the next iPhone campaign lmao
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"Our own president set us up" - injured Capitol Police Officer Gonell says in reaction to today's January 6 hearing
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I was hemorrhaging from a miscarriage while I was on location. If I had been afraid to seek medical care, I likely would’ve died. There are states today that would let me bleed out. #Sagaftra’s core function is to protect members. Please sign & share chng.it/tpRy5Lk2Kj
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
.@MeredthSalenger & @pattonoswalt talk about how Patton got Covid while filming in Georgia, they answer some @dygmtofficial listener emails, and Patton has some picks! LISTEN: link.chtbl.com/-tKrIZKM
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Colin Kaepernick, who didn’t force anyone to kneel with him, lost his career and livelihood But a Christian football coach who retaliated against players who didn’t join him in prayer was just celebrated by the Supreme Court Welcome to American ChristoFascism
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
hahahahahhaahahhaHAHAHAHAHA are you fucking kidding me twitter.com/atrupar/status…
Dude do NOT get my hopes up like this twitter.com/brianlynch/sta…
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