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Patton Oswalt

You have all made it happen. There is over 1 million people following @AuschwitzMuseum. 'I am deeply moved by the support of people from all around the world, who - together with us - commemorate the victims of Auschwitz,' said Dr. Piotr Cywiński, the director of the Memorial.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I wrote tonights ASC Awards - every joke, every intro, even the In Memoriam. The only speech not in the script is Werner Herzogs, who said he'd just 'wing it.' So he could talk for an hour about the futility of the human race or perhaps sacrifice a goat But it'll be interesting twitter.com/Variety/status…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
A new @RidgeRooms poster is always exciting but she went ABOVE AND BEYOND with this one! This one’s for my February 15th show in Ft. Lauderdale and it comes with a custom Valentine card! Click below! All $$$$ goes to the artist! twitter.com/ridgerooms/sta…
After @SenJoniErnst voted eleven times to block the House managers from presenting all the new evidence they wanted to add to the Senate trial, she went before cameras to mock the House managers for not having enough evidence. Seriously. Watch this. twitter.com/cspan/status/1…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
My wife walked in 15 minutes ago and caught the last moment of a two year journey. The look on Alice’s face says it all. Thank you @jk_rowling.
I'm not an avid reader of food magazines but if Toast On A Paper Towel Monthly ever comes out, yes, I'd like a subscription.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
oh god OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OHGODOHGOD twitter.com/th3j35t3r/stat…
If it was on the boardwalk I’m thinking... twitter.com/blainecapatch/…
Do we really think “take her out” meant he wanted her fired? Like, he’s definitely familiar with the word “fired” & never hesitates to use it. Seems weird that he wouldn’t just say “fire her” if that’s what he meant? I’m not trying to start shit. I wouldn’t want to get “fired.”
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Some harsh, brilliant genius from the late Terry Jones. Timely then, timely now. theguardian.com/world/2004/jun…
Read the debates of the Framers. Read The Federalist Papers. Read the Constitution. Read the transcripts. Remove him from office. twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
ONE MORE SLEEP ‘TIL PHOENIX! See you tomorrow night at the ⁦@celebtheatrephx⁩!!!! Last tickets available below! celebritytheatre.ticketforce.com/eventperforman…
I keep telling myself “you can’t let yourself be shocked by how low, how repulsive, how unpatriotic, and how just plain stupid Republican politicians will go”. And then... twitter.com/marshablackbur…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Actually, it’s even simpler. For any elected official who believes the conduct of @realDonaldTrump is not a crime, you should call up your favorite foreign government and ask them to help your re-election campaign. Then announce it publicly. I dare you. twitter.com/justinamash/st…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Remember when Trump committed a new impeachable offense five days ago, and you don’t even know which one I’m talking about
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
One reason I'm for Warren is that there's no candidate I trust more to handle the rolling national crisis which will consume the period between election night 2020 and inauguration day 2021 in the event of a Democratic victory. twitter.com/ewarren/status…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
🎶Write ZOOM zee-double-oh-em box three five-oh boston mass 0-2-1-3-4 send it to ZOOM!�Zc
He was doing a parody of a self-absorbed narcissist who thinks just because they're famous that gives them the right to take on social issues they clearly know nothing about and make it all about themselves Kinda like, uh.... twitter.com/megynkelly/sta…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
THREE DAYS AWAY! I’m at the @celebtheatrephx. THIS Saturday! Tickets are going fast, so click below and grab some! See you there? celebritytheatre.ticketforce.com/ordertickets.a…
We love you, Michael. We miss you, Terry. twitter.com/lafamiliafilm/…
DAMMMMN but @GerryDuggan’s new issue of MARAUDERS (#6) packed a WALLOP. Amazing work from an always amazing writer.
 
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