Is SpongeBob a hard worker? I don’t think so. Sponges are soft! He’s a soft worker.
How come Squidward gets to have a huge nose, and I get no nose at all? I smell unfairness – and I don’t even have a nose to smell it with!
It’s Laundry Day! But I only have one pair of shorts, so it is also … Naked Day!
SpongeBob and I don’t always see eye to eye. But if he stands on a crate, then we do.
Why do people go to night school? Isn’t it weird that there’s a whole school just for studying nighttime? What’s there to know, other than “it’s dark”?
I hear Saturday is a great day for outdoor activities. Let me know how that goes.
I’ve been called “Lazy” so many times, I’ve considered changing my name to “Lazy” ... but it just seems like too much effort.
Tuesday is my day for studying strange, gooey fluids, or as I like to call it, "Oozeday."
When it comes to math, I’m only good with round numbers. 0, 3, 6, 8, and 9 are fine. 1, 4, and 7: you confuse me! As for you, 2 and 5, make up your mind: are you round, or angular?
The clarinet is supposed to sound sweet. But when Squidward plays it, it certainly does not! Hopefully the cup of molasses I poured in there will help.
It’s Wednesday, and that means the trash man is coming … but I’m just not ready to part with this so-called “trash” just yet! Time to hide the garbage bin for another week.
SpongeBob told me love makes the world go around. Does that mean love is gravity? Heavy …
Working at the Krusty Krab would be very difficult! I don’t think I could just hand over all those yummy Krabby Patties … maybe if the customers let me take a bite of each one first, I’d be okay with it.
Squidward asked me, “Do I have to explain everything to you?” I have no idea what he means by that … should I ask him?
If Thursday is the new Friday, does that mean the old Friday is just taking a break? While he’s on vacation, I wouldn’t mind spending some time with Old Friday.
It’s important not to be narrow-minded. After all, your brain isn’t narrow – it’s round! So be round-minded.
When the chips are down, the best thing to do is just pick the chips up and eat them off the floor.
Is it Sunday? Is Sunday the end of this week, or the beginning of next week? Is time just a circle?? Is anything true?!? See, this is why I should never ask what day of the week it is.
I wish I were a pet — I’d have it so easy! Well, except for having to go for walks ... and grooming ... and getting shots at the vet. You know what? Never mind, I don’t want to be a pet anymore!
There are some things you really shouldn’t try to catch with a jellyfishing net. For example: the bus. Now I know.
I’ve been thinking about getting more exercise. I call this a “thought exercise” – and it feels pretty intense to me!
What?! It’s Friday morning? Oh, no! That means I forgot to sleep in!
SpongeBob told me it’s important to always remember that jellyfish are wild animals. Good point! I’ll just write that down on this bread, in jellyfish jelly … and then, eat the bread. Mmm, remembering stuff tastes great!
If you’re ever doubting your ability, just remember, I believe in you! And I have no idea what you are trying to do.
I’ll admit, Saturday got a little wild ... which is probably why I now find myself in a Sundaze.
It’s easy to make friends. Take this toaster, for example: might not look that friendly, but I put a pair of googly eyes on it and I’ve made a new friend!
Wednesday is my catch up day. Oh, sorry, I meant Ketchup day — it’s the day I put ketchup on everything! Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be going — late for my ketchup bath.
I’m easy to love. How do I know this? Well, I love myself – and I only do things that are easy.
Why can’t I sleep tonight? I’ll bet Squidward would know – he’s smart! Time to wake him up and ask him.
So glad we finally made it to Friday. Listening to other people talk about their busy week has been exhausting!
I caught an orange colored jellyfish, but it didn’t make orange flavored jelly. Awful!
It’s Monday or as I sometimes call it, No Work Day (this nickname works for other days too!)
If you want to be happy, don’t do today what can wait until tomorrow. If you want to be even happier, don’t do it tomorrow either!
The most important meal of the day is whichever one I happen to be eating right now.
Thursday is bath day! Kidding, of course: I don’t bathe once a week. Bath day is every other Thursday.
It’s the first day of spring?! That means I completely missed the last day of winter! NOOOOOOO!!!
SpongeBob and I are pink and yellow, just like the two kinds of lemonade: pink lemonade, and, uh … I want to say, lemonade lemonade?
Happy St. Me Day! May you be as lucky as I am.
How do I stay happy? I don’t know, I never really thought about it before. And thinking about it is making me miserable … AHA, that’s how to stay happy: stop thinking!
Tomorrow is International Pi Day! Do you know what that means? Allow me to demonstrate with this delicious pie. You see, if you divide the circumference of the pie by the radius of the pie, the result is: I ate the whole thing.
I slept through Napping Day again?! Tartar sauce. Now I’m just going to have to make up for it by napping all day today.
I guess this sink isn’t going to un-clog itself … But then again, you never know! I think I’ll wait another week.
SpongeBob and I have been friends for as long as I can remember! In other words, at least five days.
It’s Bikini Bottom Annual Free Day! I can’t wait to go get lots of free stuff. But first I’ve got to find my shopping list … I swear I’ll find it, even if it takes me all day!
A true friend doesn’t want to lead you or follow you. A true friend walks by your side and shares his ice cream with you!
So many fish look upset about having to go back to work on Monday. Have they tried not working? Works for me!
Lately, I’ve picked up the ukulele … But I couldn’t figure out how to play it, so I just put it back down.
To celebrate World Condiment Day, I’m using twice as much ketchup, mustard and mayo as I usually would – and that was already a lot! Wait a minute: it’s World COMPLIMENT Day?! Okay, in that case, uh … my compliments to the maker of condiments!