Rowan Atkinson

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Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compares to you, I love you.
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Just sold a lawn mower on eBay. That will be the last time my neighbor wakes me up on a Saturday morning.
Some people can be described in three words…“Worst Case Scenario”.
I'm going to rewrite history. History.
Some days it seems like my life is overpopulated with idiots.
I think a woodpecker just called me a paranoid little weirdo in Morse code...
Be careful about making permanent decisions based on a temporary emotion.
Dear Friday, I'm ready...
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
Did you ever want to say to someone… "Maybe if we tied a ribbon around your head we could call you gifted."
The only time I talk to myself is when I need expert advice.
I've run out of pages to colour in, my colouring book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday.
9 out of 10 doctors say that other doctor is an idiot.
It's almost like some people are allergic to intelligence.
Backwards written is this realize to you take it did long how? But not this bit.
If I were a zebra I'd be pretty upset that they didn't name me tiger horse.
Some people’s brains must think its DNA stands for “Do-Not-Activate”
Been laughing laughing at this app all weekend. Download it now and you can thank me later.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you have overlooked.
Happy Saturday! May the only work you do be piecing together last night's partying texts.
Thursday, which translates to “Friday Eve” in Optimisian.
If the world didn’t suck we’d all fall off.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Some people just prove that the earth is probably a mental institution for the universe.
If you always give, you will always have.
Time is precious… Be sure to waste it wisely.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes… I can't see.
I've decided to get rid of my bad habits. (As soon as equally satisfying, good habits become available.)
Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere.
Sometimes you've got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
Before you can see the light you have to deal with the darkness.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?
You can only be young once. But, you can always be immature.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!
How did they measure hail before golf balls were invented?
You can’t change what you refuse to confront.
It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone... Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I'm really glad we don't have to hunt our own food anymore.... I don't even know where the sandwiches live.
Remember, you may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.
When you spend your life worrying about how others feel, you lose track of how you feel.
Writing "wash me" on someone's car is kind of funny, but writing "I'm watching you right now" is hysterical.
Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.
Thursday doesn't even count as a day; it's just the thing that's blocking Friday.
I finally learned to speak Chinese. Now I just need to say stuff that makes sense.
You can run from your problems (unless your problem is a cheetah).
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