Hear me out: nap rooms.
Just have one in every restaurant/ club/ mall. Then us tired people can just sneak on in there without inconveniencing the people we’re with, because we care about them, but also we have a hard time setting boundaries. Thx. 🙏🏼
Umm wtf birds are terrifying. Harpy Eagles have talons bigger than grizzly bear claws, and they eat monkeys for breakfast. Shoebill storks eat fish, but they sound like machine guns and they stare into the depths of your soul. I— 😳o
America rn: hey, cool weird Met Gala outfit! Also, can we plz keep our reproductive rights? 🥺
When’s the age where you start liking museums? I thought it would hit by now, but I still just get bored. 😔
Did you know that in the U.S., every .16 seconds a husband is using a decorative towel like a friggin animal and a wife is at a 7/10 annoyed.
Omg I randomly just remembered that Eminem’s mom made a diss track about him back in the early 2000’s lmao imagine your mom doing that💀
(And she sued him for $10mil but I feel like everyone remembers that part)
My YT algorithm trying to figure me out:
yeah, so umm…😅 you want a guided meditation? acrylic paint pours? IKEA remodel DIY? The Beatles-were-a psy-op and Paul is dead? yoga poses that relieve tension? or which ranges are best to 4-bet bluff pre-flop in a 6-max game from HJ?
I don’t usually get political, but if you’re team doors delete my number.
I have an allergy up my left nostril only. Just one allergy. I want it dead.
Anyone else need to do a bunch of things, but your clothes are too heavy so you don’t do them, and if you take some clothes off to do them, you’re cold? It’s a serious farce I have to fight every day, and I feel alone in the struggle.
If one more person wishes me a happy “two’s day” I’m going to projectile vomit on them.
I just asked my husband if your legs can get receding hair lines (?) I swear my leg hair line gets lower and lower every year. It’s like mid-calf now, the rest up is bald. I’m ok with it. I just wanna know if that’s a thing.
He said that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever asked.
I keep trying to think of the name of that one K-pop band everyone is obsessed with. It comes to my mind in fleeting seconds but then it’s gone. I’m too stubborn to google it bc I enjoy that moment when you remember something you forgot.
Oh well. They seem great. Good hair.
I have 2 modes:
Worry about everything
Worry about nothing
THERES NO IN BETWEEN AND SOMEONE KEEPS FLIPPING THE SWITCH ALL DAY 😭
I just rewatched Alice in Wonderland for the first time since I was a kid (the cartoon version), and holy shit— we can all agree that Alice definitely has ADHD, right?! I’ve never related more to a Disney character in my life.
I’m ahead of schedule today. Wtf. I’m weirded out. Is this the apocalypse?
There was Dorito dust on my fingers when I went to apply my moisturizer, so I got a lil exfoliation in there too ☺️ My 2022 self care routine is crushing.
This year is going by way too fast
And the CDC said… NOTHING, you idiots. The CDC’s dead, it’s locked in my basement.
Okay, I just finished binging Only Murders in the Building and 9 Perfect Strangers, what’s next?
If you're gonna have a long wait time on hold, can you at least not have repetitive robot voice messages interrupting your shitty elevator music every 5 seconds??! IRS I'M TALKING TO YOU YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE GARBAGE I HATE YOU. FUCK.
Btw if you think youtuber movies are bad, you should try watching Magical Mystery Tour lmao 💀
I’m obsessed though. 😢
You guys, I listened to and watched nothing but The Beatles for a month straight, and now I go in and out of speaking like John Lennon, and I’m genuinely sad I’m not Liverpudlian. Nothing is real 😢
sorry I’m late, my cat and I were exchanging slow blinks
On the one hand I’m ready for the matrix simulation we’re living in to end, but on the other hand it’s football season and I got Tom Brady on my fantasy team, so I guess I’ll stick around and see where it goes.
I keep telling my brain to do stuff, but she keeps telling me she doesn’t want to :(
My husband just sold his car for crypto. Don’t worry, everyone. Things are fine.
Sorry to this generation of kids that got us as 30 something year olds, when we got actual adults lol
People who choose cup over cone at the ice cream shop- talk to me. I genuinely cannot understand. Why do you hate joy?