Murdoc Niccals

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Ever fantasized about an hour alone with Murdoc? Close your eyes and press play. Closest you’re gonna get. Love M.…
Oi you lot! Show numero uno's about to kick off! See you at Kong, SHARPISH.…
Musical genius, style icon, actor, lover, fighter, and now - RADIO DJ. That’s right, I’m on air. IN FIFTEEN MINUTES. Tune in and let me help erase the memory of the previous three shows. Or are you busy? Thought not. - 7PM GMT / 11AM PST
What’s this? Murdoc Niccals doing his bloody bit again? I never cease to amaze myself...…
OK gotta go - Russel’s chilli is ready. To be honest, I’m slightly dreading it, the last one did me a right mischief. But I don't want to offend him so I'll put on a brave face. Until next time, STAY SAFE, WORLD! #DebunkAries
RIGHT. All the eyebrow shamers out there saying I look like Bert from the Muppets! My usual barber’s is closed right now, obvs. So I did them myself with a blowtorch. Burned the lot off by mistake, had to draw them back on. #DebunkAries
Noodle, bless her, was worried cos 2D wasn’t wearing a helmet. The truth is, the boy’s got so many metal plates in his noggin from various head injuries over the years, his head is already a helmet. #DebunkAries
Geezer in the Lucha libre mask? My old amigo and adversary ‘El Fatto Pollo’. Came up against him on the amateur wrestling circuit in Pueblo a few years back. KO’d him in the third with a top-rope plancha. He retired last year (lumbago) and now works at Kong. #DebunkAries
Some of you asked how, on account of my gorgeous complexion, I can use a green screen? Fact: My skin is NOT green, it’s Chartreuse. A French colour and très sexy. Also goes well served over ice. #DebunkAries
Right, that syringe. Keep your hair on, world. Nothing to soil yourselves over. It was just a bit of truth serum for the lad. Didn’t even bloody work. Reminds me, need to fire my chemist - been supplied a lot of duds lately. #DebunkAries
Getting a lot of love for the cape, some of you asking if it’s my new style. Nah. Just fancied something billowy for the wind machine. #DebunkAries
About that green screen. Rumbled. Yeah, I made the creative call that we film this one from base camp. Just to show the world what wonders can be achieved working from home. My way of inspiring you all. #DebunkAries
Allo you lot. Murdoc Niccals here, in da house. I mean, where else would I be. Anyway, I'm back once again to give you lucky chumps an access all (some) areas tour of my latest masterpiece. Enjoy! #DebunkAries
Annnnd that’s your lot! Hope that clears up some of the stuff keeping you awake at night. And re the other stuff keeping you awake at night - not really my problem. But good luck with that. Until next time, world! #DebunkDesole
Russel’s carrot sticks / Noodle’s gloves are a metaphor for what Gorillaz is like when Murdoc isn’t around. I.e., ridiculous, a broken instrument, a machine missing it’s biggest cog. Very touching tribute to me. Thanks guys! Cheers @GoryPumpkin @melixay for asking #DebunkDesole
Thanks to @HeyoMayo15 for the stupid question and this insulting graphic #DebunkDesole
Right, morons saying I’m short. Ever heard of PERSPECTIVE? When things are nearer to you, they get bigger. E.g., when a fist comes towards you, it gets bigger as it approaches your face. Plus, right, I was STOOPING at that point to convey my sadness (more great acting). OKAY.
Ta to @Monielponi and @kairose18 for asking: is 2D wearing my captain’s hat from Plastic Beach? Not the same one cos that got eaten (long story). But I bought a new one and gave it to the lad, a little good luck charm for his voyage. You look smashing, matey! #DebunkDesole
Great Q from @SenseiJussa on that pasty bloke in the tower... yeah weird one that. Lot of celebs own houses there. First thought was ‘bloody hell, George Clooney’s a bit under the weather.’ But also looks a bit like Nosferatu, so can’t be sure. Mystery continues… #DebunkDesole
Cheers to @skayRuiz @BecaCookiee1 @shortcakeemoji and the other million concerned citizens for raising that very important question. Your concern for me brings real tears to my eyes. #DebunkDesole
Tres desole to disappoint, but that crying stuff - I was ACTING. Not bad, eh? De Niro, Dench, Prinze Junior - do one. Niccals is here to show how piss-easy acting is. Shake some salt n pepper in the eyes, bit of the old shoulder shaking. BAM. Just a shame I missed Oscar season.
Wotcha peeps. Right, think you can handle the truth? Then strap yourself in, Murdoc’s about to REVEAL ALL. (If however you can’t handle the truth, sling your hook now)…
@MurdocGorillaz will be back once again to put any rumours to rest and answer any questions you might have about the latest episode of #SongMachine tomorrow at 4pm GMT Submit your questions now with #DebunkDesole 👀z
Retweeted by Murdoc Niccals
What is @slowthai looking at on his phone? Simples. The lad needed inspiration, so I sent him something that has inspired me over the years. A picture of myself. #SoFxxkingSpecial #MomentaryBliss
Numero uno, I am HURT you would think that’s poison. It’s echinacea, a herbal supplement! Good for the immune system, lot of colds going round. Yes, it’s in an old poison bottle, but I rinsed it out. Ever heard of RECYCLING? #MomentaryBliss
Right then, here’s a handful of truth grenades. Don’t say I never give you anything… #MomentaryBliss
BISH BOSH, G-fans. I’m seeing a lot of chat about my latest banger, Momentary Bliss. As there’s enough fake news out there already, I'll be setting the record straight. TOMORROW. 5PM GMT
Sorry to hear about your recent losses, 2D. If you need a hug I’m on the balcony. But if you could bring a cup of tea (7 sugars) up with you that would be smashing.
Greetings, humanity. Look who’s here. Smashing back into your orbit like one of those majestic reusable rockets. My new masterpiece is about to DEBUT. Join me online, I might even chat to you (unlikely).
37°14'0"N 115°48'30"W & 1/2 Presents: MAYDEUP FESTIVAL Listen now on @Spotify: Noodle's Xanadu: 2D's Tits up TeePee: Murdoc's Dirty Den: Russel's Drone Circle:
Retweeted by Murdoc Niccals
Salutations, people of the Gorilla-verse. Guess bloody what? MURDOC’S FEELING CHATTY. But I haven’t got long, my time is more limited than 2D’s spacial awareness. So SPEAK NOW or forever hold your...
Does my bum look big in this?
…I’ll never forget what you did for me, even tho I will probs forget your name. Thank you for FREEING MURDOC. I’ll leave you with this heart-warming montage of our journey together… Ta-ta for Now Now. And remember - vincit qui se vincit!
WALLOP! 24 hrs, easy. Taping my eyelids open was a bloody masterstroke. Right, I’m off for some shut-eye (soon as I get this tape off). But before I go, know this…
I’ve had so much caffeine I’m starting to hallucinate. Just had a twenty minute tête-à-tête with 2D, turns out to be a golf umbrella. Similar level of conversation, mind you. I’M STILL ONLINE.
Hkjkhhkjheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeef. Soz, fell asleep on the keyboard. Fear not, just inhaled a load more Gold Blend so I’ll be good for a few more hours. Fancy a chat?
Come and hear my heart-warming story of redemption before Ron Howard buys the movie rights. I’m ONLINE NOW for the next 18 hours. That’s right, I’m doing an all-nighter. And not the fun kind.
2. My amazing, inspiring, warts-n-all confession. Speak to me ASAP before I block your number forever.
1. That tatt I got in jail of @Dani_MasDyer
A few things to get off my chest over the next 22 hours…
And for the idiots out there, speak to me HERE… Got it?
Think you can handle the TRUTH? Then here begins Murdoc Niccals’ 24 HOUR CHATATHON. Speak to me asap before I start spooning in dry coffee granules to stay awake…
This is your last chance to speak to me directly. After this it’s back to screaming from the rear of an auditorium. ONLINE FROM 3PM TODAY, for 24 whole hours! You lucky bastards.
Friends, fans, stalkers – IT’S TIME FOR ANSWERS. What happened in Patagonia? How did I survive the world's worst log flume? Why the F was I strapped to a yak? Ask me TODAY, ‘cos for ONE LAST TIME, Uncle Murdoc’s online…3pm BST
Wondering what the F happened in Patagonia? All will be revealed in one final chit chat. But later - right now I am obvs VERY BUSY and IN-DEMAND (and yet still humble). Deets will be announced soon… Tata for now. Peace and love, Murdoc 2.0
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