Ms Evilroyslade™️

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On the grass when I arrive, Filling the stillness with life, But ready to scare off At the very first wrong move. In the ivy when I leave. It’s you, blackbird, I love.
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[first person to play the bagpipes] i think this thing is haunted
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Futons are Great if you want something that's Uncomfortable to Sit on, but also Uncomfortable to Sleep on too
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HR told me the whole lip biting thing is making people uncomfortable So it looks like from now on I can only bite my own
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A relationship of respect, honesty, trust, and love… all enough to speak your mind, be heard, to listen, and appreciate each other even more.
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Love isn’t as common as it ought to be.
Profanity: keeping me from committing murder since 1972.
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The cup is neither half full nor half empty. The cup can do whatever it wants, when it wants, as long as it doesn’t annoy me.
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Stop RTing politicians, it only encourages them.
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Laughing till you can't breathe is one of the sweetest things in life, don't let this messed up world keep you down
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I love beautiful things, like people who make you laugh, who make you think & dream, who remind you just how amazing it feels to be alive
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Yes, I’m talking to birds. Mind your business.
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Not really here, not really there, not really anywhere
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I bet I’m already ruining something in the future.
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*Seductively leaves Cheetos dust kiss print on mirror*
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I used to care but now I'm mostly just tired
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Flat earthers willing to die on a hill is funny af.
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Why does every group have that guy who finishes the food off of everyone else’s plate, and why is that guy me?
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Guys head on over to Instagram stories if you want to see Gloria a 48 year old mom of 3 from Oklahoma lip-syncing a Drake song in her '07 Dodge minivan
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Be true to yourself. Also be true to LeVar Burton cuz that man would never steer you wrong.
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Out here dissappointing people like I'm getting paid to do it.
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I’ve fought a few monsters in my life, more internal than external.
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Thinking of giving inspirational twitter a go. On a separate note…only four days until Monday.
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Pro tip: Never say “whatever floats your boat” unless you’re talking about water.
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The best thing about being an Accountant is that skipping leg day is actually encouraged.
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If babies were born laughing instead of crying, maybe I wouldn't dislike them so much.
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me: let's get some booze for her birthday friend: tequila? me: what? no, just to get her drunk
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Her: Why r u laughing? Me: When the mouse laughs at the cat there's a hole nearby.
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I never feel brave, I just don't let fear stop me.
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I got so many things done today, for instance I followed Bon Jovi on Twitter.
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Being the same age as old people is weird
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The only thing I do miss about the height of the pandemic is getting to take my mask off like I just botched an appendectomy.
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Did you hear me?! You are absolutely deserving of peace, love and yes, happiness. I said what I said.
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Short people are awesome, you guys can fit into so many spaces.
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Debating on whether to have that burger or not? You may not be around tomorrow, eat the fucking burger.
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“It’s hard to beat an enemy when he’s living inside your own head.”
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Smart watches are bloody tyrants. You can climb an entire mountain and they will buzz after 15 mins at the top like, come on slothshit, put your back into it, you don’t have time to admire the view
Retweeted by Ms Evilroyslade™️
hand scented of rosin and her neck of rosewood, she cradles her violin within her palm and nestles it within the nook of her collarbone and chin, feeling the vibration as her bow glides along each string; every one created of gut and pulling at hers, as she plays her song for you
Retweeted by Ms Evilroyslade™️
Women. I love women. Like I fucking loveeeeee them. All of em. All they are. Just yes. YASSSSSSS. Queens I tell ya. Queens.
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he told me he likes it rough so i crumbled a nature valley bar in the bed
Retweeted by Ms Evilroyslade™️
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