James May

All Photos Twitter.com 6 hours ago
At least Clive Sinclair lived long enough to see that he was right about many things.
I’ve had a crack at reviewing a small car. #DriveTribe youtu.be/5LpLuTVNGG4
Live abroad? Need a drink? I would. jamesgin.com
London W6 pubs: amber risk of morris dancers.
Beer and salty peanuts. Anyone got a better idea? #OnlyTotalPlebsEatThatDryRoastedRubbish
Good news! (Not that) And sorry about my blotchy face, but I’d been on a boat. @primevideouk
People who paint delivery vans - pay attention.
I wonder how many rear parcel shelves are lying forgotten in the car parks of DIY superstores, their owners wondering where they could have gone.
Finally had a go at one of those ‘adult colouring’ apps. Seemed a bit pointless.
Please drink it, don’t save it. Alcohol is God’s apology for making us self aware, and helps shy people have sex. twitter.com/bigecormack/st…
For those of you who were concerned, the Mini survived.
If you own this Mini, you need to move it sharpish. Another 20 mins until high tide.
My A-Level results weren’t great, but hey: someone brought me tea and toast this morning, and even Croesus didn’t get that.
Dear anyone trying to order my Asian Parsnip gin from the UK: yes, the email system got shitfaced, but I’m* sorting it out. *They’re
I’m on @SundayBrunchC4 today. Free food.
Update on Mates Writing Novels: Steel Flies - silly and LOL funny at times. Counterfeit Candidate - disturbingly believable. Has nazis in it. Apparition Phase - genuinely scary. Love Under Lockdown - reading it this week. #DutyOfSupportToLiteraryMatesDischarged
Team GB seems to be very good at Riding A Bicycle Off Road Without Landing On Your Face. #TeamGB
I’m watching Olympic skateboarding. It’s great. #ThatIsAll
I’m extremely flattered that so many of you have ordered my Asian Parsnip gin. I’ve decided to make a second batch, preorderable here. #Ruin jamesgin.com
I’ve decided to have a gin. youtu.be/ioI0EIUerTQ
Four mates have produced novels during covid. I just wanted to reassure you that I haven’t.
To meet your ‘special’ needs. @thegrandtour
Congratulations Italy. But our Fiat Panda is going in the river.
Good luck Italy. But sod off also.
🇮🇹 (Balance)
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
My local bike shop now has a 24-hour inner-tube vending machine. This excites me more than it should. (Please add your own ‘buying rubber’ gags.) @TLCWorkshop
Penalties are crap. Hate this.
This footy is, as was often said of games in my youth, good to watch. #ITAESP
Grüße Deutsche Freunde. Heute abend spielt England Fußball. Bitte nun freut für Südtor’s Jungen. Vielen dank.
OK: Fußball kommt NACH hause. Glücklich?
Heilige Scheisse!
Es ist zu stressig.
🎶 Es kommt ins Haus 🎶 Es kommt ins Haus 🎶 Es koooommt 🎶 Fußball kommt ins Haus 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇩🇪
*Fünf. Ich habe nicht meine Brille.
Achtung! Um fünd uhr (Britischer sommer zeit), Deutschland und England Fußball spielen. Der Tag, der ist so freudenreich. Viel Glück Hans et al.
Better lluck necst half 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿.
Come on then you boyos.
England vs Deutschland ist immer fur lachen gut (?).
Ich spreche too soon.
Zum teufel! Super.
I enjoyed the brief moment of rugby.
*Sehr. Scheiße.
Heute abend um Acht uhr, England und Scotreich Fußball mcspielen. Sebr aufregend und stressig.
Wirklich, der fußball war ein bissien langweilig. Aber Ich brauche mein Schlafzimmer. Ich muss um sechs uhr steht auf wenn der wecker lautet. Gute nacht alle. Mein hund spielt kein schach, und die Eule malt nie. Etc.
Was der fuch was das?
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