mimi keene

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my parents are fighting bc my mom was letting a big spider live in the kitchen window bc he’s “perfect for halloween” and my dad killed it
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nah the husband on squid games fr ain’t let his wife keep them marbles im crying
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I love talking to myself she gets me
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Teach your children to scrape their plate properly so they don’t turn into adults who leave food in the sink.
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Fasting with iron deficiency isn’t it, the whole day spinning 😭😭
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garlic is to cooking as vanilla extract is to baking in that the amount i add to my food is guided by reckless extravagance and utter disregard, verging on mild contempt, for the recipe as written
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This movie scene will always make me laugh 😂 Superbad is a classica
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“you’re so quiet” thanks i’m literally having violent intrusive thoughts
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wakinupinnamorninthinkinabtsomanythings 😔
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One of the funniest tweets to ever exist in my opinion 🤣🤣🤣�X1sTgj
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I asked my Year 1 classes to tell me a joke; Here is my analysis. A THREAD
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i’m really a “thats a sign” ass mf lmaoooo
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I miss how people dated in the olden days 😭 men really used to court girls back then
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Was it love or lockdown ? Find out on June 21st🤣
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One thing about me is ima go lay down, I belong to the sheets🥰
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i will restart the whole song if i breathe too loud over my favorite part, idgaf
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I never delete messages .. Just incase a Mf wanna lie about July 23rd, 1862
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treating a girl right isn't called simpin bruh.
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sis is tired. sis needs a massage. sis needs a shopping spree. sis is me. i am sis.
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My downstairs neighbour has a daughter who lets her boyfriend sneak in through the window everyday. I’m no narc so I haven’t told her dad. Well, she just told me my skinny jeans are out. I’ll be asking her dad tomorrow why his son keeps forgetting his key. Respect your elders
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“if you want” is the worst fucking response to everything.
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the most dangerous game to play is “resting your eyes” in the morning after shutting off your alarm 😭😭
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Burning your back against the radiator >>>>>
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bro i cant hear without the subtitles on
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When you see a tweet that’s just a little funny
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I SUCK AT BABYSITTING AFTER I SAY STOP TWICE YOU CAN DO WTF YOU WANNA DO 😭🤦🏽‍♂️ CAUSE YOU REALLY BAD FR AND I RESPECT THAT 😂
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men will get rejected by one woman and be like ‘no more Mr nice guy’
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No energy for talking stages these days, not even a little bit
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No matter how subtle you think you’re being. I clocked it
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i know everything happens for a reason but what the fuck
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someone gotta tell the waiter i ordered mashed potatoes and it aint gon be me twitter.com/riarozayy/stat…
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Half of me is romantic, the other half tells the romantic half to stop the nonsense
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holding hands: ★ holding hands and they do that little thumb stroke: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
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“I’ll come visit you at uni” is the biggest lie I’ve heard
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i'm glad we only live once bc i can't do this shit again
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Why is lingerie spelled like that? Lawnjaray makes more sense
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If you don’t understand this we can’t be friends🙄1
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Why do brands find it so hard to do a brown lipliner? Not burgundy wine plum whatever else ACTUAL chocolate brown?
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When #Leo notice you've stuck with them through it all and they will do the same.
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This soft spot for u ain’t gon last forever ..
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SZA really knows what I’m FEELING!! I really do love that woman🥺
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if i say “i’ll let you know” just enjoy your night
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I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick
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