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Matthew Highton

Genuine exchange I just heard: "What time is it?" "Midnight twenty four." Who is this midnight twenty four guy? What's his game?
What's it like living in London?
My boyfriend is a surgeon who performs castrations. It's getting a bit creepy. He's started to give me the willies.
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
I assume this would both improve grades and ensure at least one villain per year.
If I ran a school where they had a classic uniform, day 1 I'd give all students a wand and say only the best get taught how to use them.
When you go all Zack Morris and do 2 dates at the same time. See what happens when they find out about each other: tickettailor.com/checkout/view-…
Hey @mrTonyLaw looks like you're skating pretty damn well in this one. Top rehearsals for Battle for Icetopia. tickettailor.com/checkout/view-…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Crazy to think there was more processing power in the Nokia 3310 than Star Trek TNGs Commander Data
Mid way through my appointment today my dentist said I "was being very brave" and you know what, even as an adult man, it was nice to hear.
Very happy with my new headshot.
Just having a meeting with the @mrTonyLaw on Ice marketing team. He says buy tickets alexandrapalace.com/whats-on/tonyl…
Just watched Mother! Had no preconception of the film, it took me about 2/3 through until the penny dropped and then I was all like 🤔😲😇👏
I mean we do keep going on about it sure. . . But we have hired a fucking ice-rink! Spread the word / buy tickets tickettailor.com/checkout/view-…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Minimise Screen Pro Challenge: All your bosses are in the office today but you're trying to organise a night out... #GamesThatNeverExisted
Hello, I am Lennywise the dancing clown...
Had a dream where I traveled back in time to invest in Bitcoin. What the hell subconcious!
Just hanging out with my Bro, Pennywise.
Finally! A comedy play on an ice rink. Tony Law and friends in the Battle for Icetopia. Comedy. Music. Ice! tickettailor.com/checkout/view-…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
New happy place: slow motion video of @WillSeaward with a pumping 80s soundtrack.
Phwoar, look at Paul's snail. GBBO
How I imagine me trying to unlock an iPhone X #AppleEvent
Want to feel old? This is what the Teletubbies look like now. #GBBO
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Just found out the Destiny 2 servers are down. #VideoGamesDay
It's hard to believe that on the original NES, game cartridges were the size of cereal boxes 😮#VideoGamesDayy
Now run to those mansions, free animals inside robot crabs and set an annomous name to verbally abuse me online! #videogameday
Apparently it’s #VideoGamesDay! Serendipity! Come and join us online trying to do a new sort of gaming thing?! Tonight, 7.30pm GMT twitter.com/stevemcneil/st…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
As it's #VideoGamesDay I'd like to have a moments silence for all the Marios we lost. From Goombas to tennis, you have seen true horror.
It's #VideoGamesDay ! That's all the excuse I need to sit in my underpants.
I've spent a day thinking about the new IT movie and whilst I love it, I'm surprised I found it so much funnier than scary. Who knew?
There'll never be anything like this again once the insurance company see what's going on. It's gonna be so good, buy now whilst you can! twitter.com/weirdoscomedy/…
I think I've massively improved this pic of @EricLampaert and @ItsJordanDwayne
My raincoat from @joythestore arrived just in time for my cinema trip. #itmovie
If this tweet gets 20 likes I'll show you the bruise on my butt! *confidently watches the unfollows roll in.
Sometimes I put Last of the Summer Wine on and pretend Norah Batty is the same replicant line as Roy and that Compo is hunting her down.
The final scene of Blade Runner still breaks my heart every time I see it.
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
All the ❤️ for the @BFI Stephen King toilets
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
So excited about the film I've decided to reread the same copy of IT that terrified me 20 years ago. I used to cover the cover at night.
It's why I love this rag tag band of miscreants! twitter.com/weirdoscomedy/…
 
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