ms pippershnippetz

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the appalachian mountains are older than saturn’s rings. the appalachian mountains are older than dinosaurs. the appalachian mountains are older than trees. the appalachian mountains are literally older than BONES. the appalachian mountains should be regarded with pure terror.
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imagine if you got to the front of the queue and there was none of the Queen left. you'd be absolutely starving
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love how i worked tirelessly for three years to complete a masters thesis on feminist philosophy just to tweet stuff like “hot girls can’t add”
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blow job??? More like blow internship
Men be like “yeah my love language is manipulation”
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i don’t fake moan at all. we gunna play silent library in this bitch til u get it right
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"nobody wants to work" literally translating to "unemployment is low so we have to purposefully engineer a recession to keep business owners from having to pay living wages" is the best illustration I could imagine of how capitalism is a caste system to keep people impoverished
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Sorry that you feel ugly :( I have no experience with that
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once i heal my gut biome it’s over for you guys
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First date idea I drink some cold beers with your dad
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I wish Disney would cast Viola Davis as Snow White so we could speed up the inevitable Civil War.
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snuggling isnt enough i need to melt into your body and live in your skin
craziest thing I heard this week was that the models at NYFW don’t get paid
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You 👏 don’t 👏 owe 👏 your 👏 new 👏 born 👏 baby 👏 any 👏 thing 👏
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Quit your job to be my friend full time
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black mermaids? what's next, black PEOPLE?!
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my fav genre of reddit post is “my husband wanted an open marriage but now hes mad because im getting railed every night by strangers”
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The same titties look good the 1st time and 17,652nd time you see them. Does a sunset ever lose its luster? I say unto thee Nay
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British people are so good at colonization that people speak in a British accent in fantasy worlds that don’t exist.
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What’s so scary about men 2 me is that they can hate your guts but still be infatuated and sexually attracted to you. It’s very weird and scary
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i really want a 1966 ford bronco
every woman i’ve ever met has had a valid reason to commit arson
my fav genre of reddit post is “my husband wanted an open marriage but now hes mad because im getting railed every night by strangers”
you got a 3 person beef limit before I start to think you the problem.
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please stop showing me his fingers
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reservations are so embarrassing like hi i’m here for my spaghetti appointment
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call that pussy 9/11 the way it was all bush
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what i wish more leftists understood is that people like being cruel and they like feeling powerful and they like it best when they can dress it up in the guise of righteousness
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there should be a Queen of New Jersey
no i don't want to "have sex", i want you to tenderly hold me while i sob into your neck and realize for the first time in my life that i'm not alone
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Men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape… you mean a tiktok bro?
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ive only had a complete meltdown on the jersey shore boardwalk 1 time
(With no understanding of Europe) Looks like the pope is single!
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you're laughing. the british are crying into their beans on toast and you're laughing.
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hi this is queen elizabet II the longest reigning queen i’m not actually dead and if uou can paypal me $500 i can explain everything
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yes i do in fact believe the tarot reading on my tiktok fyp with 600k likes was personally sent to me by the universe
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rest in peace, queen elizabeth. you taught me it's okay to be weird.
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canceling plans is not ok. putting yourself first is not ok. nothing is ok. you should always feel guilty about yourself. you should always assume you are disappointing someone. you are a bad person.
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[Ouija board starts shaking and screeching] Me: hold on I gotta take this
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you’re in his DMs, i’m in a hell of my own making
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took 200 mg of adderall . God held me like a baby and asked if I would be strong enough to wage war against all of humanity , I nodded yes and my blood became imbued with his light and he handed me a sword made from bones of fallen angels
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Whenever my boyfriend says anything remotely critical, I'm just like dude, there is lace on my underwear. All the way around the top. Stringy, tickly, impractical threads that grip the sides of my waist when I pull my panties down to pee. And I wear them for you. Shut the fuck up
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That “no spf on neck pic” hit me harder than any D.A.R.E commercial ever did
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Khloé Kardashian works out 3x’s a day, changed her face 10x’s and still got cheated on so I’m so gonna sit here and eat all these ribs.
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Damn that’s cool how you have the ideology of a baby
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