The Sassiest Semite

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how tf can i be so tired and so restless at the same time
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Bigger & better things ✨✨✨
An all lady thrash metal Bob Dylan cover band called “Slay Lady, Slay.” You’re welcome.
So to recap: No Kuznetsov or Samsonov tonight for the Capitals. Both late to a team function, out for disciplinary reasons. Ovechkin and Carlson are still game-time decisions with lower-body injuries. Oshie is out (personal/family matter). Vanecek in net, Anderson backing up.
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I’m trying to find something good in every day. Hope? Maybe. Strength? Sure. Ice cream? WE HAVE A WINNER.
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Mother, if you are reading this tweet I am lying & I will be awake at 8am sending out additional resumes after I have had a completely nutritional breakfast & I am dressed appropriately for the weather.
Pleased to announce I have formally decided to forgo continuing my job search & instead will simply be a Lizz who wears this romper in this moody 90s music video lighting in a corner for the rest of my days. Excited to see where this life pivot takes me. (Please send candy.)
when I say I want improved public transportation, this is what I have in mind
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I love session musicians. They’re like journeymen hockey players or actors. It’s not about the fame, it’s about the love of the craft. I’ll watch a session drummer lose their mind on a kit before a big name drummer any day.
i think we can agree that early 90s winona
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I’m wearing an adorable romper and I have to pee so I’ve already made one dreadful decision today.
Push yourself today. Just a little. Even if it is only in a rolling chair in the general vicinity of the refrigerator w/ one of those grabby retractable arm things old people use that I definitely, absolutely, positively don’t but definitely do own. Puuuuush.
Hot girl shit is women supporting women.
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In lieu of any of the bajillion jobs I’ve applied to that I’m extremely qualified for but have heard nothing back, I’m considering starting a business where women Venmo me $29 & I DM them “Good morning, gorgeous” each day of the month. This price has been prorated cause I care.
“water nymph” (1907) by paul swan
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I’m finally redoing my entire Buy Me a Coffee page this Monday w/ tons of new writing/new mini cosplay photo sets & weekly posts! I’ll do a bit more writing tonight so should you like to help support the life of a recently laid off pixie, here’s the link�buymeacoffee.com/thesassiestsem…p
My 5 year plan is to be freaking adorable.
If you can’t both laugh about farts together, your relationship is doomed. Period.
Dreaming allows each of us to be quietly and safely insane every single night.
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i’m going to go on a nice adventure today and romanticize literally everything
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It’s parkin’ season. Go get your cooties vaccine.
"i like women who don't wear makeup" "i like women without tattoos" "i like women with a low body count" well i like men who shut the fuck up
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Oh my my, oh hell yes, honey put on that party dress
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I get such a high watching people talk about what they love. Don’t care what it is. I’m never lying when I ask to hear about a collection/obscure thing you adore. Tell me everything. Let me see those eyes light up while you lose control ramble on about what you love. Please.
Hello May, may you be beautiful and kind to us all
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As a genre, I don’t care for for most pop-punk as a whole. But you cannot argue the drumming isn’t almost always top tier. It’s got to be very fast & very clean. You don’t have to like it, but being objective & speaking skill wise - it’s absolutely there.
I bury myself in fantasy & intricately imagined tiny world’s existing ever so precariously posed on a single droplet left rippling on the tip of a teaspoon, not because I can’t handle a nonfiction world, but simply so I can be armed to teeth w/ exquisite reasons to survive it.
I’m only learning French for 2 reasons: sex and hockey. So, one reason. I’m learning French for one reason.
My bedroom is becoming so perfectly dark, dimly lit & romantic. It feels so cozy & luxurious & I love that ✨
does anyone want to go bowling with me? i promise not to throw my body down the lane again
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I’m only this tough on myself because I know my capabilities.
I was told today that I’m “getting hotter with age” so I’m going to ride the hell out of that for the next 1-48 months.
Look, I just want to make biscuits on one of President Biden’s gorgeous grandpa cardigans & I’m not apologizing for it.
Is anybody else unable to stop fantasizing about being the cat that gets picked from the shelter to go home to THE WHITE HOUSE or am I just running seriously low on Serotonin this week?
Block the people you don’t like. No one here is going to change their behavior for you.
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I am a doctor. I'm a respected source of information. Get vaccinated. twitter.com/secupp/status/…
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