tbh, I can't even imagine looking at it with a telescope.
The coldest Goodreads review I've ever seen was where someone simply wrote "Nice try!"
“As the husband of a daughter...” twitter.com/bbcworld/statu…
I don’t know who Zara Larsson is (sorry, Zara!), but things like this make me happy. twitter.com/zaralonline/st…
On my way to steal your man! Just kidding, I’m going to the dentist.
Some thoughts on #NationalComingOutDay
, and a story that kind of kills me. esquire.com/lifestyle/a128…
Thankful for all those who came before, those who stand beside me now, & those who may join us in the future. <3 #NationalComingOutDay
I change my outfit at least 3 times a day. Can I have a show in Vegas?
Trying to remember all the places in the house that I have hidden snacks...
Still thinking about this beautiful $800 sweater I saw today. Not about buying it, just how well I pretended I didn’t love it.
My ridiculous dog only wants to be fed by hand now. Great.
Deleted Instagram off my phone two hours ago and I've already completed my masters
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
Hello, yes, my pants are too tight.
Sometimes I’m out and just like, THESE PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT!
It’s my favorite fake holiday!
Fall makes me feel like soon I’ll be a woman of a certain age.
Tired of the world’s many injustices? A woman who took her shoes off at the coffeeshop just had a cup of coffee accidentally pour into one.
Made a bunch of kissing noises to a dog while its owner smiled weakly at me.
Your weirdness is a gift, but it's also nice to, like, know how to behave yourself around others sometimes.
Niece’s 1st birthday.
Sometimes you gotta dump your fourth Cosmo into the bushes.
I don't know what I'm doing.
It's a little drizzly in L.A., so make sure you allow yourself an extra 4 hours to get to work today.
I LOVE to know people have swiped away from my Story on Instagram. It keeps me so young.
Daddy’s lil pushy photo assistant.
Uh huh. I’ve met a few of these.
I just dropped a truth bomb in the privacy of my own home.
I missed whiskey...
We all have our thing. Today, mine is refusing to follow a model on Instagram unless it is reciprocated.
My dog is watching me eat a bowl of popcorn the same way you look at people in First Class when heading back to your seat in Coach.
Though I'm very young, I hope you've noticed how my red carpet fashion choices are really evolving.
My first words upon waking up from a nap: "Can we get pizza?"
Still happy with my Series 2 Apple Watch, but I'd be excited about a new band. Does anyone besides Apple make fun ones?
Category is... 5 Days in Mexico: instagram.com/lifeserial
Are the hot people in pictures happier than me?
🍆 could mean your kids aren't getting enough vegetables!twitter.com/bry_nap/status…
Said "cunt" in front of my in-laws and received a look so severe from my husband like where did he find me and can he return me
When will my husband return from sea.
Seems like the planet is sick of our shit.
Stood still so long while peeing that all the lights in this restaurant bathroom turned off. Cool. Great.
I really left it all on the playa this year.
Excited to hear about your burn, but first lemme tell you about my new juice cleanse!
If I'm gay and don't own one of those Charlie bathing suits, do I even exist?
I'll just have a glass of filtered tap water to start and a wedge of lemon for my main.
Should my pee be 100% white wine?
I see U trying to make tshirts tucked into jeans a style thing again, but I have fought long & hard to be loose and billowy and free. So no.
A freak summer rainstorm just blew through L.A., and this is the afterparty. instagram.com/p/BYex_ylncrA/
Lately wishing I could go back and be a kid again.