Lauren Sivan

All Photos Twitter.com 11 hours ago
Come for the sunsets, stay for the emphysema....
Instead of blowing up things for a gender reveal party, the parents to be should hand out wallets. If there’s a dollar inside, it’s a boy, if there’s 72 cents, it’s a girl
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
As much as I hate this pile of melanoma? I’m actually happy to see him. Dunno if this is a symptom of the ‘rona or I’m just going soft in my old age @BillSchulz
Trying to avoid apocalyptic news headlines & soul crushing depression? Might I suggest #Montana? There’s zero cell service & tons of fun. Even this city slicker fell in love 😍3
Thoroughly enjoyed this book 👏🏽learned a lot and realized there are just some states I don’t need to visit 🤷🏼#Overstatedated Well do@iamcolinquinnuiHlV
See ya soon, fucko. And credit where credit is due: @LaurenSivan always wore the hell out of 18th century designs...
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
Just got Crytpo 101 from @CharlieShrem & not only did he give me investment advice but I learned why mackerel is a perfect protein in multiple ways 🐟 win/win Make your financial advisors work harder 💪🏽
Back in Baltimore, MD for work again and found myself with a couple hours free so this history nerd decided to take in some of the sites
Cannot believe this diseased husk of a human survived another year but here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ Happy Birthday@BillSchulzlzPa
This is completely unrelated to her ability to campaign/govern but after interviewing #KamalHarris multiple times when she was AG of California I can tell you this: She smells incredible.
#PerryMason was a perfect show. Gorgeous to watch & perfectly acted/written & totally addictive. (Considering I wasnt a fan of the original when forced to watch next to gramma) Great job on this origin story, @HBO Partial bias toward bad cop, Detective Ennis (Andrew Howard)
Very close to a FIRE SALE at the designer outlet mall 🔥🔥🔥 Send prayers/water t@Cabazon_OutletsepE1
I moved to the California desert during a heatwave & a raging fire season. What can I say? 2020 has been so great so far, wanted to get a curve ball
Remember when “death” in LA was just anonymity 😢apple.news/AS-wliXZKQCiSC…L
Flattered to be confused for @thekatkendall but can they get ANYTHING right?! twitter.com/PageSix/status…
According to my calculations @kanyewest’s presidential aspirations lasted one full Scaramucci
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
The longer covid/shut downs go on, the more curious I am about psilocybins 🍄 I just want to take ANY trip at this point.
Just took my first workout class back at the studio only to be informed upon departure they are closing back down as per the CA re-shutdown. Looks like the Covid-19(lbs) aren’t going anywhere anytime soon 🥴
This coronavirus testing diagram has done more to keep me out the pub than any alcohol awareness advert ever has.
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
How can it be over when it never got off the ground? 😉twitter.com/BillSchulz/sta…9
America, for your birthday this year I’m changing our relationship status to “it’s complicated” �#WeCanDoBetterr 🇺🇸
Well now we know what survivors of the “Tide Pod challenge” have been upto twitter.com/ABC/status/127…
This was a long hard fight for many of his victims👊🏽 I decided NOT to be a part of this class action. I didn’t feel I experienced the types of job loss, pain + trauma many of his other victims had. This isn’t enough to cover those losses but it’s somethinthedailybeast.com/harvey-weinste…6B
Quarantine Dream House: a play in three acts
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
I love this podcast for all the brave and influential women @thekatkendall interviews but in this episode she’s got questions for our leaders! Worth a listen twitter.com/roarwithkk/sta…
Does this never-ending HELL ever end??? twitter.com/barstoolsports…
But are his candles still available? twitter.com/wardiejerusale…
EARTHQUAKE in LA. When do the locusts arrive?
Where’s the tear gas when you NEED it? twitter.com/ewufortheloss/…
This piece by @rgay made me tear up + THINK.
Huh. Earth looks pretty round to me. #LaunchAmerica
HUGE TIP: Ditch those boring Zoom meetings without anyone knowing youtu.be/6yWIEGHPeG8
If you haven’t organized your closets or learned how to make sourdough by now just let it go- it’s never gonna happen.
hey seniors, if you're really missing graduation sit in the sun wearing a shower curtain while someone reads from a phonebook for 3 hours
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
We’ve just unlocked the final boss in the pandemic
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
Happy Birthday @JennyJohnsonHi5! So sad how these thirst traps stole your special day with thier dumb vows.
Kinda makes our awful at-home haircuts seem adorable, comparatively. NHS worker, 19, 'forced to scrub her face with bleach' after using the wrong shade of tan dailymail.co.uk/femail/article…
Live footage of me during EVERYDAY of q’tine...
California is finally letting the florists and toy stores reopen? Thank god i don’t have to go another week without a 💐arrangement or Jigsaw puzzle �#ThanksGavav
Living with this man during quarantine is the reason I’ve gained the “covid 19” (lbs) latimes.com/business/real-…
Watching @BillSchulz’s ex give her first White House briefing. 😳t
Is this REALLY the best use of funds? Trample beach goers by horse? twitter.com/LapdMounted/st…
Day #33848 Someone is sick of walks #Quarantine2020
NEW: A former neighbor of Joe Biden's accuser Tara Reade has come forward, on the record, to corroborate her sexual assault account, saying Reade discussed the allegations in detail in the mid-1990s. businessinsider.com/former-neighbo…
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
I’m doing MY part to keep restaurants in business by sacrificing my abs, you guys. #CoronaUpdate
Did you pay $80 for a jug of Purell and don't know WTH you're going to do with all that hand sanitizer? Here are some HUGE TIPS youtu.be/sA1TtDbW5j8 via @YouTube
I don’t know about you but I’m really using this time to try something new. For example, I worked-out drunk this morning.
It’s not a plague of frogs or the great flood, but Gods still got his fastball I think he’s proven that.
Retweeted by Lauren Sivan
Sexy is gone. Dead. Over. Where is Justin Timberlake when you need him? #Covid_19
When will we reopen the country? When Dr. Birx is out of scarves, presumably 🧣
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