Kirsti Louise

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One day I was youthful and would talk about the latest concerts I’d been to or nights out. Now…well now I tell anyone who will listen about how the squirrels in my garden are eating my camelias and I don’t know what to do about it. Middle age gets to us all eventually!
Me…lying in bed listening to my cats destroying everything I own 😩I
What I’ve learnt from two episodes of #Hunted nothing good comes from having Ringdoor bells 😂
Elinor on #Hunted “we know exactly how to get out of here we could escape easily here it’s so big” **Hunters appear out of nowhere** Elinor: **running around in circles round the washing line 😂😂**
The time of year I get so sucked into #hunted that I genuinely start to believe that my non outdoorsy, scared of my own shadow self could win this thing 👍🏻😂
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So a display only chopping board!!!???
S Club 2…less of a party more like meeting a friend 😂L
Dreams really do come true 😂👍#ndubzuhGw
I’ve been on Twitter since 2009. I’m just now realizing the home button is a bird house.
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Plants in my garden: **taking whatever Mother Nature throws at them and thriving happily and merrily, even where I haven’t planted them** Houseplants: "you watered me on Saturday last week, you’re watering me this week on a Friday…..so now I must die.”
I hate when I'm having a sugar craving and someone tries to give me some awful advice like… "If you want something sweet, why don't you just have an apple?" Because an apple doesn't taste like a red velvet cupcake Susan!!
A confusing exchange in British shops: “Just these, please” “Is that everything?”
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Living everyday lately, just trying not to be a hypocrite 🤷🏼‍♀️😂🙈
A woman could have four broken limbs and massive internal injuries due to an epic battle with fire-breathing dragons, and the first question the doctor’s office will ask is, “What is the date of your last menstrual period?”
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Me thinking out loud: Oh my Whatsapp is quiet this eve, all group chats are silent, everyone must be living their best lives on this Thursday eve. Me going on Twitter: oh WhatsApp is in fact broken.
I guess I just don’t believe that Emma Gerber’s hairdo “must’ve taken hours”
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"You cannot think your way out of feeling" is such a hardcore truth bomb that I want to make it its own meme by itself and plaster it all over every space I occupy on the internet. DAMN. I needed that reminder.
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The most upper class sign I’ve ever read in my life 😂�0t
Nostalgia right here 😂❤️�8I
If I’m having a bad day I watch this, it makes me laugh every single time…even though I’ve watched it a thousand times 😂 Chin chin �ZS
Are we meant to become waterproof at 18 or something? If so my body missed the memo 😂twitter.com/_Priyaapandit/…K
Does anyone remember Golden Balls with Jasper Carrott? Nothing was ever more intense than the whole would they split or steal twist at the end… I don’t know if I might have in fact been the only person to have ever watched this 😂😂😂
Begin Again is literally one of my most favourite films, Lost Stars is literally one of my all time favourite songs from a movie ever…and it really is not just because I have a teeny tiny crush on Adam Levine 😂😂
Actor Alfie Allen discusses his new production of "Hangmen" on Broadway and how it feels going from "Game of Thrones" to acting before a live audience. #GMA3
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Visiting home and my dad just walked to the dinner table wearing this shirt. None of us have kids. When asked about it I was told “it’s a suggestion”.
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Did you know it takes a plastic bag 20-100 years to break down, yet it can take me approximately….1 minor inconvenience
I hope this is real 😂p
So many things can be dealt with by just saying to yourself…It is what it is…
This is me. Every. Single. Day. I’m just too nice/not assertive enough 😂twitter.com/SoVeryBritish/…h
⁣Every story has a start. Connor Swindells, Jack O’Connell, Alfie Allen, Sofia Boutella and Dominic West star in this upcoming story inspired by the origins of the world’s greatest Special Forces unit, the SAS. #SASRogueHeroes, coming this autumn to iPlayer
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why do people love the “real best friends see each other once a year” “have no pics with my best friend” flex. see your people and make memories. life is too short for that to be a flex 🥴
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Don’t forget metre reading day everyone 😁 May the odds forever be in your favour….good luck 🙄😩
Now do you store chocolate in the fridge or do you store your chocolate in a cupboard!? My thoughts are if it was meant to be chilled it would be in the fridge in Tesco (or your choice of supermarket 😂😜)
@Kirstilouise88 Funny and a good laugh But not funnier than us.
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Society for women….a thread…“skinny but not too skinny” “Have fat but in the right places” “Toned but not too muscly” “Assertive but too much, don’t look crazy” “Look young always, but age gracefully” “Be sexy but modest.” “Look flawless but not fake.” Have I missed any!?
The way Karen Brady over laughs at all Lord Sugar’s awful awful jokes….it’s like she’s scared of getting fired herself 😂#TheApprenticeeg
Being British is mostly just staring blankly out of the window at the rain whilst muttering: “they said it was supposed to be nice today”
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Todays wondering…..Why does anyone say “half a dozen” when you could literally just say “six”!?
This made my day @brucecool1 ❤️ you are a very talented artist and you inspire me with your amazing art ❤️
“interact with the pillows” 😂😂#TheApprenticeice
I am gutted and I mean absolutely gutted about the axing of @neighbours I’ve watched it religiously for like 30 years!!!!
Told my mum about something very serious and told her not to tell dad. She told my dad and then told him not to tell me and my dad called me and told me he knows and told me no to tell mum, so basically all 3 of us know but can’t tell each other.
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Eurgh… that’s the tweet today just….eurgh
I tell you the history books In school for the next generation are going to be mental
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Little Me is trending which gives me a chance to quote my favourite lyrics ever “You gotta lotta time to act your age, You can't write a book from a single page, Hands on the clock only turn one way” True that Little Mix true that!
Literally the #TindlerSwindler is like Catfish but on drugs 😂😂 What the actual hell! Hope this gets turned into a TV programme like Catfish 😂
After dating me for a month and telling me he’s in danger and needs money, the tinder swindler would’ve been shocked when I said “that’s crazy, what you gonna do?”
Retweeted by Kirsti Louise
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