Joe Santagato

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I literally have never even smirked at that “oh no our table. It’s broken!” trend. Not even a smirk. I’m so confused.
Ya whole kitchen looks like a bulletin board…
Even the moon is getting cancelled
Hey @Glenny_balls, you got any locks for me today?
I just made myself cry by creating a fake scenario in my head of my dog running away. It’s 10AM. What is wrong with me?
I’m so glad you found this bc I remember being inconsolable after watching that video for the first time 😂…5
I tried to send this to my group chat and accidentally sent it to my contractor that I met last week.
I’ve never eaten a hot dog because I think it symbolizes the poor. I refuse.…
I love those finance pages that post before & after pictures of celebrities like: Jeff Bezos at 4 years old •Net Worth: $0M •Can’t read/write •Will be bald later in life Jeff Bezos now •Net Worth: $827B •Owns Amazon •Went to space kinda
I’m confused because I know you lived in a house and not on the street. Why were you eating a meal that Aladdin would probably have to steal to survive?…
I’m not even gonna lie, I ate candy corn tonight.
I just saw a TikTok of this attractive black woman and one of the comments was “I’m not racist anymore” lmao bro does no one give a shit what they say on the internet anymore?!?
Just got my new tattoo
Today’s Chrissy Chaos Podcast with @JoeSantagato aka Joey Elbows is out everywhere you got your pods now! Full Video here:
Retweeted by Joe Santagato
Was watching Squid Game before bed and then had a dream that I was machete-ing an old woman who was trying to break into my apartment. I gave her mad warnings though.
Hey guys, I’m a Giants fan. Go easy on me for the next few weeks. I can’t do this.
Mason Crosby, I left you a very bad voicemail. Just delete it. I didn’t mean it.
Mason Crosby just broke his 27 kick streak because he knew I had Packers -3. Thanks so much.
The old series are retired 🤝 Time for a new…0
I’ll finally come out and say this: A big main channel return is on the horizon. A permanent one. I believe it will be the best content I’ve ever done. Stay tuned.…
“Civil War” trending on Twitter. People outside: “Great weather today,” “Did you see the fight?” “Is that restaurant good?”
Retweeted by Joe Santagato
Jets with the back door for my teaser 👀 SURVIVE AND ADVANCE PEOPLE
I love when the NFL does the early morning London games. You get to wake up early, have a cup of coffee, and watch your parlay fall apart before noon.
I’m laughing so hard that I’m coughing 😭😭kl4
People who ride bikes on the streets of Manhattan literally have no regard for their own life. It’s actually wild. Anyone who bikes in this city is both careless and brave.
I may consider eating gum off the floor before eating pumpkin pie. The crust is good though.…
Pumpkin flavored anything is awful. Change my mind.
This is why the internet fucking sucks. I hope I never meet you people at a bar bc some of us just like to have a good time.
I agree but you also run out in your socks real quick when you can’t find your shoes. I’m not sitting there eating bread and ketchup as a meal. That is strange.…
YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT. You’re not getting out like this. You literally made it seem like I was dipping bread into unmarked blood that I found on the street. I will not be gaslit!…
Bro how are ya’ll saying bread and ketchup is disgusting? Have you never had a hamburger or hot dog? Like wtf
Listen, if I’m eating a meal that involves bread and ketchup and there is only bread & ketchup remaining after the meal…. THEN I will dip said bread into ketch. I don’t think that’s crazy 🙄…8
Remember when Macklemore thought he was gay bc he cleaned his room in 3rd grade?
This is 100% unacceptable. This is supposed to be a playground for children. Who would design this?! Also, where is this park located and when is it usually empty with no one around to see anything?
I didn’t know this until right now but yeah, they look like the type of people who’d enjoy taking fat shits whilst holding hands.…
Honestly.. Instagram should shut down for an entire day every week. I feel like we’d all benefit from that. Maybe we’d all hate each other less? Right now I hate everyone so much.
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