Jhonen Vasquez

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Man, god of war sure is the god of fighting way more little snakes than I expected.
So my ‘Jholon Muskhole’ account name got changed back to ‘Jhonen Vasquez’ and it wasn’t by my hand. No joke. Nobody should ever be forced to be actual me against their will.
What exactly are Kratos’ powers? He lifts half a mountain to drop on a guy one moment but the next he has to find an alternate route because there’s a peanut in his way.
What a fuckin’ racket. Doctor swears I didn’t have bones when I came in but I know I did. Probably gonna find my bones on goddamn eBay now.
At the oral surgeon. On laughing gas. I can’t feel my bones.
I am in the fartiest rideshare ever. Do you tip less for each fart you pretend isn’t making you cry?
SHORT HORROR THEATER: Lady thinks she’s carving a pumpkin but when she calls her weird orange toddler over to see the finished work nobody answer! What happen to baby and why pumpkin cried?!
The sweet murdery tunes at this Mexican restaurant.
I would like a series of Unsolved Mysteries where each episode is just 30 minutes of that title sequence.
When you feel like your life is a dumpster fire just remember you’re never alone - there’s all kinds of maggots, rats and cockroaches in there with you.
Wait. If legs are coming soon, then w...what are THESE???
I hope everyone is having a nice day. This is a sponsored tweet.
“It is I, Mario.”
First day of October and I’ve already eaten a shit ton of pumpkins and ghosts.
HAPPY HALLOW-whuh? It’s not Halloween yet? I’m going back to the shadow realm then. See you later.
Where some people see horror I see kindness in that, in real life most kids who have their eyes ripped from their skulls don’t get them replaced with cool new glowing ones. twitter.com/horror4kids/st…
I have broken up households by changing the motion smoothing setting on the televisions of places I have visited.
We have now peaked as a civilization.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes, internet strangers. Unfortunately something went wrong and I became UNborn. I will not be returning the gifts.
When things feel bad and everything is on fire, try to remember the good things and that you stored them all in the garage along with all those huge leaking barrels of gasoline.
I’m not joking.
Watching an awful Amityville sequel and a priest is talking about Satan: “He’ll appear in the most seductive form necessary to get what he wants!” Terrifying music and -cut to A LAMP-
Every night I hear an owl just outside and I’m pretty sure he’s asking if anyone’s awake and wants to hang. I try to respond but my hooting is very rusty and the owl just shuts up, disgusted or offended.
If I was a doctor, every time I delivered a baby I would congratulate the parents on their new content.
Every night a car would pull up, full of people and music, but as time went on, the car was just a little bit less full until one day it showed up empty. It eventually drives off but one of these days I’ll hop in and find out where it goes.
I thought PREY was okay but I’m still sore they passed on my PREDATOR movie pitch where a Predator lands on earth, never gets out of his ship, just shits around on his computer for a few days and then buys some skulls on the way back home to show his friends.
Who’s small and awake and wants to crawl under my house to find out whatever smells so bad and is crying “I’m sorry I came down here” over and over again.
Alex Jones owes those parents 45 million dollars now. He’s gonna have to sell a shit ton of the precious bugs that fill out his vaguely human shaped disguise.
Here’s my review of NOPE: Somewhat partly yep?
Ohhhh, THAT explains all the incomprehensible cosmic horror nightmare things giving me the stink eye every night.
I always feel weird giving someone’s post about some sad or tragic thing a thumbs up because then they’ll suspect I had something to do with it which I definitely did.
Tired of finding secret noodles in your home? I’ve got no solution - just sympathizing here.
Happy Blorfday to one of the best accomplices I could ever have asked to exist in the same timeline as. Everyone dump some words of praise upon @RichardHorvitz! ZIM picture for reference.
Because you follow Jhonen Vasquez here’s a video from a rotting sewer alligator you might like
Seeing that teaser for Picard s3 with all the old cast was like being sent a video from a serial killer holding up photos of all your loved ones he’s gonna murder next.
Ahahahah! My cat is so cute watching me play STRAY she bats at the cat on the screen and meows and she cracked the screen with her head and blew a hole through the screen with her shotgun and I don’t even know where she got that thing! I don’t have a cat.
Not doing Comicon but I’ve set up a mock booth in my patio to capture some of the old vibes and the line of squirrels and cats has actually gotten big enough that security has gotten involved.
When a friend is trying to cheer you up and they start talking furious shit about whatever’s getting you down but they go way further than you need and they start burning effigies and waving swords around and you have to call the police.
The coolest thing about Jurassic World Dominion is how, at the end of the movie, it shows an actual video of you and your friends just having sat through Jurassic World Dominion
Managed to get things under control sooner than expected and was gonna say things were back on again but then I dropped another, even hotter lasagna on my computer.
Dropped a hot lasagna on my computer so no drawing stream today.
I’ve been getting through the stranger things finale. Since I was a child. Time means nothing anymore. Has it been weeks or centuries? When will it end? Did it end? Have I gone mad? Have I become the finale? Is Will’s barber the real enemy?
Imagine I’ve posted free art on this thing for the amusement of you thankless pigs. By the way, It’s Santa Claus shanking a cyberman.
ZIM finally gets a voice in games and it’s not his actual voice?? twitter.com/RichardHorvitz…
It’s been about a thousand years since I tried clearing out some of this garbage uh I mean putting up new quality original art so now there’s new GUHs up in the shop! Get them now before I burn them! z99store.com
Celebrate American independence by cutting off someone’s legs and then challenging them to a race.
That day is nigh when the last place you want to be standing is directly behind any of the soon to be terrified dogs. I once saw a lady get dookie-blasted through a fence by a shin inu at a 4th of July party.
Raising money for the National Network of Abortion Funds. @AbortionFunds This is the ORIGINAL Invader ZIM logo from 2000, designed by Jhonen, final drawing by me: ebay.com/itm/3045424894…
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
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