Jesus Christ

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It is finished.
Tweeps, old and new, you will never be forgotten 🫡💙
I’m getting my news mixed up this week. But if I could recap: Hardcore Florida man is developing Ticketmaster 2.0 because he couldn’t get Taylor Swift tickets. I can’t help you.
Casual Sunday reading…
Sunday Funday. Got any plans? Don’t say church.
It appears I have more than 12 followers
Who has two thumbs and verified?
You don’t need to tell people you follow me in your bio. It proves nothing.
I keep telling Dad that we don’t need to put people through the same childhood I had. twitter.com/AdamBroud/stat…
There’s a time for compassion. There’s a time for patience. There’s a time for forgiveness. And when they all run out, don’t act surprised when we turn the tables upside down.
Your prayers are meaningless without action.
Money can’t buy happiness
When I fell down from heaven!! C’mon guys. It’s not funny when I have to explain it.
No, it didn’t hurt.
Y’all know what day it is. See you in a few
Christians hate this one simple trick that gets you into heaven. Love.
So, same theme as last year I see.
Spiked nog. Two birds, one stone. twitter.com/yoda/status/14…
A little silver tinsel and some sandals twitter.com/BradenBrown24/…
No need to rub it in the day before my birthday twitter.com/MichaelaOkla/s…
Please, no more turtle doves this year. I can’t be everyone’s BFF
Finish up those pies because it’s time to start planning my birthday party
Trimming the first two letters from my name. Y’all can now refer to me as Sus
I’ll pray for you 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Dad grumpy. I still love you all. twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod/…
Yikes, unfollowing them now. I was a fan of their cool looking robes but, you know, the children!
No. It didn’t hurt.
I’m sorry but, money cannot buy a rocket ship into heaven, Jeffrey.
Fight Club starts in an hour. Don’t bring a friend.
An important message from a dear friend of mine
Call me by my name
Good Friday to everyone except for Nas. Where’s MY lap dance?
Ban all guns. Full stop.
Who run the world?
I’m so sorry you guys are in Hell right now. So.... so sorry.
On to the next one
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