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Jeremy Clarkson

I’d like to wish a very happy birthday to Kate Moss.
Starlings flock together in stunning murmuration over a lake in Ireland
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
Let us all go out tonight with joy in our hearts, knowing that tomorrow, it will be Wednesday.
This Amazon Prime football thing is so obviously the way forward. And so many employment opportunities for pundits
This dog went missing near Rollright and Hook Norton. Do NOT reply unless you can help.
A very happy Christmas to everyone.
I do wish that Mail Online wouldn’t refer to Mrs Queen as “Gan-Gan”. It makes sick come in my mouth.
Grand Tour’s seamen is now available for your viewing pleasure.
Seaman is about to come out
It is a truly huge day. Because at some point in the night, The Grand Tour will present Seaman.
Congrats to @GretaThunberg from the old dinosaur. I think her dream is unrealistic but it’s hers and it’s shared by millions of others
If you could find a moment to check this out Crowdfunding to fund Anna's cancer treatment in New York on JustGiving justgiving.com/crowdfunding/A…
Went Christmas shopping in Manchester this morning and everything cost £140.
It turns out I haven’t driven in any of the world’s GP tracks.
Yes but a labrador would eat it in the end. twitter.com/thesun/status/…
And Sepang. Scrub this thread. It turns out I’ve only driven about no GP tracks.
No wait. Austin. Haven’t done that either
I think Brazil is the only GP track I haven’t driven. Weird
In case anyone was wondering, we fashioned this rudimentary plane out of metal and are now reunited with our crew.
God I wish I’d done this. It’s brilliant twitter.com/thesun/status/…
The good thing is: our tropical island is in the EU.
I’m going outside. I may be some time.
We’re marooned. We may have to eat him.
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
May is going through the rations too fast. We may not survive.
We elected to fly on the cargo plane with the kit and it broke. Now we’re marooned on a tropical island with nothing but a car and wine
Only May, Hammond and I could do this: end up 500 miles away from the entire crew, on the wrong island.
The weather forecast is shit for the next week. @MrJamesMay Fancy a trip to France?
Feel bad for the people of Watford. Lost this morning and then lost again this afternoon.
Congratulations to South Africa. You killed us
And we have May on the wing.
She will probably field the dragon in the second half. Scary.
But amazed that Khaleesi is playing rugby for South Africa
To all my South African friends. Bring it on.
I’ve had a sudden second wind. Am going to the pub now.
Fuck me, farming is hard work. I’m too tired to go to the pub.
I am NOT a Liverpool person but this VAR stuff is bollocks
Forgive my ignorance but what’s the point of VAR?
And in Roman Catholic, 2 stone is 12.7 kg.
And so my American friends understand, two stone is 28 pounds.
It is true that I lost two stone. But I’ve now put one of them back on again. These are the realities of vanity.
I think they mean “God strewth”
If you want a laugh this afternoon, watch the Battle of Britain with subtitles on. They literally have nothing to do with what’s being said
To soften Brexit impact, Nissan got £80m of taxpayer cash and now say that if Brexit happens, they’ll leave anyway. I want my money back.
Literally the biggest surprise of the year: John Entwistle was a freemason.
 
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