Jason Fitzpatrick

All Photos Twitter.com
Some days the trending bar on Twitter is really boring and pedestrian and some days it's a beautiful bit of absurdism.
A teenage couple wearing black turtlenecks and acid-washed ripped jeans just went whizzing by my office window on longboards and now I don't know what year it is anymore.
What in the actual hell, Facebook? No, I don't think I'll play any of your great games.
My general pissed-off-ness about DST has transformed into a general pissed-off-ness about time in general. There is not enough time in the day and somebody needs to do something about that.
I don't know if DST wrecks me this much every time and I forget about it, but this year the DST transition has felt like a multi-day combination of jetlag and a hangover.
I've been experimenting with time blocking and boy, I tell you what, your time never feels so finite as it does when you actively account for it and block it off.
I'm looking forward to the annual round of "Daylight Saving Time is bullshit" articles wherein we will do absolutely nothing about the bullshit and repeat complaining about DST at the scheduled time next year.
When I was a lad minimum wage was such that 1 Hour of Labor = 1 Big Mac Meal 'n change. Today it isn't enough to pay for a Big Mac Meal. If we're not going to deal with wages, we gotta start subsidizing Big Mac Meals. Anyways, thanks for coming to my Maconomics TED Talk.
The FedEx guy just pulled up blasting "What's This?" from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. This should be a commercial for Christmas 2021, recreating the package getting dropped off theatrically on the "Oh, could it be I got my wish? What's this?!" line.
Coming to a theater near you: *Powder Town* -- Two guys, ten kilos of misplaced cocaine, and a crazy plan to reclaim a lost fridge. Starring Zach Galifianakis and Michael Cera.
Given how aggressive my utility company is about getting their hands on my old refrigerator, I'm beginning to suspect this is the start of a comedy movie that revolves around my fridge insulation actually being 10 kilos of coke.
I have some ~*personal/professional news* to share~. I've been promoted to SEO Manager / Managing Editor at LifeSavvy Media (@howtogeek, @reviewgeeksite, @lifesavvysite, @CloudSavvyIT)!
Retweeted by Jason Fitzpatrick
Been using the Signal desktop app for a week or so now. It's really great and fills that sad no-iMessage-without-a-Mac void. twitter.com/howtogeek/stat…
Here's to the hope that there might be one day this week where I can manage to not accidentally rub lime juice in my eye. Today is not that day, alas.
And for my fellow list junkies and project management dorks in the crowd—I see you and I love you—this is from a Google Form to Sheet system I set up to automate household requests from my family. Best idea ever.
"Project deferred indefinitely until pandemic is over" is not something I ever imagined I'd be putting on a to-do list, but here we are.
Hey come on, Quibi lasted 19.8 Mooches, which is practically an eternity in 2020. twitter.com/reviewgeeksite…
The RSS feed for The New Yorker's cartoons doesn't include the punchline but instead has a metadescription of the image. It's like some sort of non-humor Garfield-without-Garfield experience.
This "deep focus" playlist I'm listening to today needs to chill the hell out. I want background music to work to, not a sense that I'm about to blast off into space on an epic quest to the edges of the universe.
My first thought: "What in the actual hell?" My second thought: "What's the insulation R-value of empty beer cans?" realtor.com/news/unique-ho…
I was trying to remember the term "CrossFit" but was drawing a total blank, so I Googled "gym cult" and got the answer I was looking for immediately.
Tummygria: an alcoholic punch you make by mixing wine, fruit, and various spirits... in your tummy. (I can find no evidence anyone has ever used this word in any context, let alone this one. You're welcome, everyone. This is my gift to the world today.)
A 2020-2021 bring-your-own-supplies list for 5th graders in a US elementary school. You won't just need sanitizer kids, you'll be buying it yourself. If you need me, I'll be pouring a very stiff drink and trying to forget this and the rest of 2020 along with it.
Btw, just so nobody is thrown off by it, "game" is probably the wrong word to use as it has far more of a whimsical little experimental project feel than a traditional game. Still, I'm really enjoying just dinking around with it.
Bought 'Townscaper' because it looked like an adorable chill low-stress game. It absolutely it. Totally worth $6 to just fool around with. store.steampowered.com/app/1291340/To…
Do you wave at the end of video calls? Prior to this article, it had never even crossed my mind. I just click the "end call" button and that's that. cnn.com/2020/06/23/tec…
I recorded 2:20 of me eating Sunchips, typing, and eating more Sunchips and typing, to test how long the Twitter voice function would run. Is self-made ASMR a thing? I think I like the sound of me eating Sunchips and typing.
Voice Test Round Two for @jaduino, No Darkmode Edition.
Testing the voice tweet feature for @jaduino; felt sassy, might delete later, I dunno.
To my wife this morning: "Your work VoIP phone needs a PoE injector... but luckily I have a bunch in a box in the basement." Quarantine has been great for totally justifying all my hardware hoarding tendencies.
Yesterday was my one year anniversary as the EIC of @reviewgeeksite. I had a long, multi-tweet reflection on the last year typed up, but it can really be summed up simply: I'm really proud of my team and what we've built. Can't wait to take it to the next level.
Retweeted by Jason Fitzpatrick
As a former ferret owner, I can 100% attest that this is how ferrets interact with packing peanuts. twitter.com/lifesavvy_site…
On a four-point checklist what amounts to "is it a living or recently deceased chicken?" takes up 50% of the choices. I have so many questions.
"This is what dating in a restaurant will look like! But... with plexiglass!" "Imagine flying again! But with... MORE PLEXIGLASS!" "This is you in 2024, playing with your children at home... WITH MORE PLEXIGLASS!" The future of design is salad bar sneeze guards on everything.
I got toothpaste in my eye a week ago and I swear it still feels minty fresh.
The sparkplug cable on my old lawnmower crumbled to vulcanized dust. I rage mowed the lawn with a weed whacker. As far as lawns go, if you're curious, it looks like the lawn version of a quarantine haircut.
I go through periods where I stop shifting my sit/stand desk to stand mode... then I switch back to standing and it's like a religious experience.
I clicked on the "Jeff Goldblum" trending link thinking "oh no, not Jeff" only to find a video of a look-alike street brawling. Social media is so weird sometimes.
At least once a day I find myself looking at a weird stock photo and thinking "Oh no. Don't do that." Today it was a photo of a woman holding a popsicle against her eyelid.
I ordered a bunch of repair parts for my dryer with the mental assumption that repairing the dryer would be a problem for next week. The parts showed up next day. I still haven't decided how I feel about this development.
This is a question for the "never clean the /Downloads/ folder" crew: what's the oldest file in your download folder? Mine's from August 2015.
It'd be cool if my random muscle pains were from training to break a world deadlift record instead of, you know, just living.
So... Trolls World Tour Trolls AMC By Failing to Pay the Troll Toll? twitter.com/nytimes/status…
Hear me out: a robotic chair that grabs your spine and massages it into a perfect postural position no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
I keep getting emails for discounts on invitations from the company I order Christmas cards from. What exactly am I going to be printing invitations to during quarantine? Maybe y'all need to pivot to the scrapbook market for the time being.
Which of these has a more annoying sound?
I'm not saying the lessons learned and shared in this post are autobiographical... but yeah. twitter.com/lifesavvy_site…
I'm so glad Drop labels all their emails "Drop (formerly Massdrop)" because lord knows without that information I'd never figure out it was the same place selling me brass EDC flashlights, tube amps, and artisan keycaps.
I cleaned my garage and found a jab saw I desperately needed weeks ago. Oh well, I'll always have the lovely memory of sawing through rusted toilet tank bolts with a dull broken hacksaw blade clutched in my angry hand.
Advertising algorithms are so weird. "We see you bought a pair of slippers, so might we interest you in ten other pairs of slippers?" No. How many feet do you think I have?
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