innocent drinks
299,423 followers
Sarah Weller 
PEJUANG TanahAir 
Autoly Inc. 
FOOTBALL PREVIEW – England vs Scotland
Football is coming home. But will it be deep-fried or covered in jam and cream?
WE’LL FIND OUT SOON.
Well, after it finishes its 14-day quarantine.
#ENGSCO
At least none of the stuff we make has holes in it. twitter.com/krispykremeUK/…
Growing up. We remember it well. Moving out, buying a second towel, willing ourselves to not be allergic to hairy fruits. twitter.com/ElishevaSophie…
It's important to stay relevant on social media. In other news, it’s #Euro2020 and, as we’ve always said, we live and breathe football. The matching outfits. The goal holes. The goalkeepers throwing and catching while everyone else is running and kicking. FOOTBALL.
For anyone using a screen reader, the emojis are a flame, chilli pepper, a stick of dynamite, and later, a hot dog. It's a joke about how hot it is outside.
P.S. If you are also posting a picture of a dog, you may use this emoji no more than once per day:
🌭
Attention everyone,
You may ONLY use the following emojis to describe the weather:
🔥🌶🧨
Regards,
The Royal Society of Seasonally Appropriate Emojis
THE LEGEND THAT IS CONNOR
Connor’s been doing our job for us this week by telling his Sainsbury’s delivery driver “you can never have enough innocent smoothies”. Since we can’t get him on the pay roll just yet, we sent him some bits and bobs to say thanks. Think he liked them.
Option 7: The Family Focus
You: “Congratulations on the baby. How’s parenthood treating you?”
Them: “My life is an endless cycle of crying and faeces.”
You: “Same.”
Them: “I didn’t know you had kids?”
You: “I don’t”
Option 6: Hygiene Hijinks
You: “What’s your favourite sort of hand sanitiser?”
Them: “What?”
You: “I like the thick gels the best”
Them: “Pardon?”
You: “I’m less keen on the thin, gloopy ones”
Them: “I’m not enjoying this conversation at all”
Option 5: The High Achiever
You: “What did you do over lockdown?”
Them: “I penned my first novel, learnt Russian, mastered the art of Tai Kwando and became an eighth grade violinist. You?”
You: “I melted four KitKat chunky’s together to make a chunky version of normal KitKat”
Option 4: The Compliment
You: “Did you cut your hair yourself?”
Them: “Yes”
You: “It shows”
Option 3: The Hollywood
You: “Have you watched anything on Netflix?”
Them: “Everything. I’ve watched everything.”
You: “Anything you’d recommend?”
Them: “Meh. Friends?”
Option 2: The People Person
You: “I haven’t seen you before, you must be new. What’s your name?”
Them: “Douglas…we used to sit on a desk together? You came to my wedding?’
You: “Who?”
Now everything’s opening up, you might be seeing people you haven’t seen in a while. Here’s some helpful small talk in case you’ve lost your touch:
Option 1: The Safety
You: “I haven’t seen you in so long. What’s new?”
Them: “Not a lot. You?”
You: “Same.”
[awkward silence]
PICNIC ESSENTIALS
1. Crisps
2. Blanket
3. Wasp repellent
4. Fancy crisps
5. Umbella, suncream, snowsuit
6. 4 packs of our kids smoothies which you can buy with other tasty picnic items for 3 for £7 on Ocado ALL SUMMER ocado.com/offers/3-for-7…
7. Third type of crisps
Poem about smoothies
Smoothies
Mmm, smoothies are nice
Oi, would you like a smoothie
Oh I'd love a smoothie
Tasty (that's what smoothies are)
Help, send help, the Martians are here
Incredible, smoothies are incredible
Everything's fine, just tweeting about smoothies
Smoothelpies
We’ve made a TikTok account but no one believes it’s really us. It definitely is though. Pretty sure, anyway. Like, 80% sure.
tiktok.com/@innocentdrinks
We’re not allowed to encourage doing this, but nothing says we have to discourage it. twitter.com/amandaahm/stat…
When we asked Conor to be our sharps pins posterchild we didn't expect him to take it so literally, but here we are.
EASY OFFICE UPGRADE
We’ve bought some sharps bins so people like Conor can safely dispose of their needles. It’s cheap to sort and makes a big difference to people with things like Type 1 diabetes, so worth suggesting for where you work too.
Just look how happy Conor is.
MONDAY IS MARGINALLY BETTER THAN:
Slugs
Sleet
A wet sock
The final season of Game of Thrones
Anti-bac induced dry hands
Paper cuts
Particularly grumpy self-service checkouts
Mould
When your phone says it has full wifi yet refuses to load anything on the internet
Two wet socks
Our boss: "So we're a family friendly smoothie company?"
Us: "Yes."
Boss: "And you're tweeting about sniper rifles?"
Us: "Yes."
Boss: "At 9am on a Saturday morning?"
Us: "Yes."
Boss: "And this will sell smoothies how?"
Us: "Errr...a spy might be thirsty?"
One of the great pleasures in life is taking apart the hoover to empty the dust, then putting it back together and pretending you're James Bond assembling a sniper rifle.
It's bean a long week but Saturday's finally here and it's bursting with possibilities.
But for now there's only one thing you need to decide: what are you going to drink with your breakfast?
If only a drinks company had made two tasty new breakfasty smoothies... twitter.com/innocent/statu…
No the beans are technically a smoothie. twitter.com/kneazlegirl/st…
This bottle of beans is in the meal deal. The other 56 varieties aren't.
twitter.com/LauJane_/statu…
Because we made it and we make smoothies.
twitter.com/rebecca_pawley…
Well, the oats do add a bit of extra texture but yep, still a smoothie.
twitter.com/PaulWinstanley…
Hoops aren't as breakfasty as beans or a blend of oats, apples and cinnamon.
twitter.com/214MinutesLong…
Let's be honest, they both look tasty.
twitter.com/davidthomasgun…
Yep, you're missing the bottle of oats just to the left of it.
twitter.com/SHOSKY1/status…
Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any beanier.
twitter.com/sarahboggins/s…
"I just fancy drinking a bottle of beans for breakfast" said a large proportion of our focus group. "Maybe make an oaty smoothie with added vitamins, too?"
twitter.com/AndyBaxtrem/st…
The people who aren't drinking cold oats with their breakfast.
twitter.com/GraceW_BM/stat…
Just some beans? JUST SOME BEANS? It's not "just some beans" Eleanor.
They're Heinz Beanz. They're the bèan de la bèan.
twitter.com/TheSingingBA/s…
It's just an oat smoothie with a bit of cinnamon and some added vitamins, Becki.
twitter.com/THE_becki/stat…
A heated smoothie? Gross. No thanks. They're cold and bold. Chilled and thrilled. Fridged and... cold.
twitter.com/alxciii/status…
Seems like a bit of an overreaction to an oaty smoothie.
twitter.com/badhippy/statu…
Obviously no eggs or bacon. That would be weird.
twitter.com/imwebgurl/stat…
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