Shower Thoughts

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If I were a ghost I'd barely haunt anyone. I'd spend my time in nature exploring jungles, caves, and oceans without the fear of dying.
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Everyone’s handwriting is their own font!
The Titanic movie is like someone making a romance movie about 9/11 in a hundred years.
I'm not a millennial, but if I was I'd be damn tired of another article every other day with a new theory about who millennials are and what they want.
The Onion might go bankrupt because they can't compete against the reality now
There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
With the rise of self driving cars, it’s only a matter of time before there is a country song about a guy who’s truck leaves him.
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If you’re over 30, you were alive before every dog in the world.
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The radio station in GTA V has more variety than normal radio stations.
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Maybe the reason that The Simpsons predict a lot is because nobody in power knows what they’re doing and just copies what they see on the show
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If Apple manufactured clothing they'd probably have all the belt loops on their jeans a different size than normal, so you'd also have to buy an Apple Belt.
A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned.
I'm not a millennial, but if I was I'd be damn tired of another article every other day with a new theory about who millennials are and what they want.
If you're 24 years old, you've already been around for 10% of American history.
@atshower I wish i had this thought back in college. Had a few teachers I could have said this to.
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If I were a ghost I'd barely haunt anyone. I'd spend my time in nature exploring jungles, caves, and oceans without the fear of dying.
5 is like an honorary even number.
@atshower You know, you’re pretty weird. When I’m in the shower, i’m thinking ‘is the hot water gonna run out b4 i pee?? That about it.
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There are probably people immune to a host of different diseases, but we’ll never know because they aren’t sick.
You can live the rest of your life without breathing
Wedding bands are just adult friendship bracelets.
The internet couldn’t even survive 2017.
We should replace “LOL” with “BAON”
Sweaty palms and feet are terrible evolutionary responses to extreme heights
While most old-school chat abbreviations like “lol” have stuck around, kids these days aren’t familiar with “brb” or “bbl”… since we’re never really afk anymore.
Calling a microwave a microwave is like calling a hose a water
The song “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” assumes we know about the other reindeer and assumes we don’t know Rudolph, but the opposite is often true.
All that money Comcast spent on repealing NN, and they could have used it to have better customer service and better networks.
If you work for 12 hours every day, 7 days a week with no time off. At $10.10 per hour your yearly earnings would be $44,238.
If snails are so slow, how come nobody sees them coming? It’s always like bam, there’s a snail.
“No Shave November” should be replaced with “Very Hairy January.”
If an email has more than five recipients, clicking “Reply to All” should trigger a pop-up asking “Are you fucking sure??”
‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ is a song about the monotony of human life.
Tornados are probably full of spiders.
The invention of the portal would revolutionise the glory hole
How many dead horses did people have to beat over the years for it to become the subject of an expression?
There may come a time soon where there are no more polar bears on the Earth, but still some on the Coke bottle.
How many cars does the average person go past in their lifetime with a dead or kidnapped person in their trunk?
Everyone’s handwriting is their own font!
Animals must think they’re magic because they can make cars stop.
Maybe aliens haven’t invaded us because they can see our transmissions yet have no concept of entertainment. They see The Avengers and say, “Whew! Dodged a bullet there!”
A flaccid penis is nature’s example of a lossless compression
The only point of having change, is to avoid change.
We put clocks in our mobile phones, so we didn’t need to look at watches. Now we put mobile phones in our watches so we don’t need to look at our mobile phones.
A bowling alley is a pretty bad place to serve finger foods.
Other people in your dreams are limited to your vocabulary.
The Triangle was once the hottest new musical instrument on the market.
Only in movies is the head of the IT department an IT genius.
Nothing is waste of time if it adds to the person you are
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