FUNNY TWEETS

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Imagine if it was possible to find out everyone who secretly had a crush on you.
Imagine reading a book of all the rumors your friends ever told about you.
Don't fall in love. It's bad.
Everyone has their own reason for waking up 7 am in the morning.
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IF THIS IS YELLING and this is talking, I woNDeR wHat THis sOUnDs LikE?
[friend] Can I ask you something? [me] You're already asking.
How to fall asleep faster? Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom.
I'm an awesome singer......... when no one is listening.
"I can't eat anymore. I'm full" "Do you want a cookie?" "YESSSSSSSS!"
Everyone says to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.
Real people are not perfect, and perfect people are not real.
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That annoying moment when you are walking around the house, with socks on, and step on a random wet spot.
In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills.
That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken with flirting.
Love is just a word until you find someone to give it a definition.
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Dear teacher, I talk to everyone. Moving my seat won't help.
That moment when you walk through a spider web, and instantly turn into a karate master.
Some people are like the summer. No class.
Walks upstairs.... "Why am I up here?" Walks back downstairs... "I remember now"
[teacher] Why are you late? [student] Why does it matter? You still get paid, right?
I like sleeping. I just don't like going to sleep.
I wonder if the earth, teases other planets, for having no life.
[friend] What a perfect morning for a run. [me] What a perfect morning for sleeping more.
3 words 8 letters. "I got food"
In the morning, there is a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:10.
Every Sunday I can't stop thinking about Monday.
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Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night before the test.
Eating popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Sometimes the person who's always there for someone, needs someone to be there for them.
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2 hardest things to say in life: "Hi" for the first time and "Goodbye" for the last.
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Writing "etc" on the test because you don't remember more examples.
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Dear teacher: If the bell does not dismiss me then the bell does not decide when I should be in class.
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Don't fall in love. It's bad.
[teacher] Don't pack up yet. There's still 30 seconds of class left.
When you are right, no one remembers. When you are wrong, no one forgets.
That 10 minute party, when the teacher leaves the room.
My daily routine: Wake up, be amazing, go back to sleep.
Math is a drama queen. It can't seriously have that many problems.
Best moment to sleep: 10% - in the evening. 90% - in the morning.
Smart phone, dumb battery.
My mind says go to the gym, but my heart says food.
[teacher] 24 + x + 30 = 90. Find x. [student] It's between 24 and 30.
That strange moment when someone reminds the teacher about the homework.
"How do I look?" [friend] Fine. [good friend] Really pretty. [best friend] Horrible.
That strange moment when the bell rings and the teacher is still teaching.
School and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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