The fence outside the White House has been converted to a crowd-sourced memorial wall — almost like an art gallery — to black men and women who lost their lives at the hands of police.
Hundreds are strolling, looking, adding names and paintings and posters.
Just heard this out my apartment window-
- “All lives matter!”
- “Not yours bitch!”
Male customer at coffee shop, “I’ve been behind that same guy in line for the last three days.”
Me, “Better be careful or your periods might sync up.”
Me, “Look! I drew a pretty flower in your cappuccino :)”
Him, *stirs coffee and ruins my pretty flower*
Me, “Hey you ruined my pretty flower!”
Him, “I’m sure you’ll be drawing plenty more flowers.”
Me, *cries and applies for college”
Him, “Do you guys use biodegradable straws?”
Me, “No, there’s too many turtles.”
Followed by a moment of very uncomfortable silence which (im assuming) was for the turtles.
Let’s always remember those that we lost on Memorial Day at the shores of the Ozarks.
I will NEVER lose my dignity. Never had it to begin with.
I miss when I didn’t have to wait 72 hours to eat food I dropped on the floor.
Two thousand five hundred fifty-nine thousand, two hundred second rule isn’t as catchy.
Doctor taking my blood sample, “Okay hold still, no one wants to be stabbed with a needle twice.”
Me, “I do...but only if it’s been used already.”
Doctor, “...okay we’re all done here.”
I refuse to do virtual open mics where I’m performing to no audience or laughter. I’d rather do real open mics where I’m performing to no audience or laughter.
The very purpose of spirituality is self-discipline. Rather than criticizing others, we should evaluate and criticize ourselves. Ask yourself, what am I doing about my anger, my attachment, my pride, my jealousy? These are the things we should check in our day to day lives.
My “type” seems to be men who don’t know how to properly recycle. So hot.