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Dan Willis

#Question 4 #Australians on #CarInsurance Does insurance go up in cost, even though the car is worth less & I havent made a claim? #BINGLE
I've just done 30mins of #kinderballet with my daughter. Does that count as a gym session? There was lots of skipping! #metrosexual #dad
@danwillis007 I don't know how you cope Mr. I like being the apex predator in the country.
Retweeted by Dan Willis
#ForSale matching set of P Plates, green and extremely used. Warped beyond legal use but still gave 3yrs of solid service!
20mins, needed to walk dog & have shower.. dog got 15mins.. I did back, pits and bits in record time. On bus to do 2 gigs in city #jobdone
If I was the richest man in China, I'd probably spend most days doing this as well.. youtube.com/watch?v=Z5VMX1… #MichaelJackson #JackMa
Am at the Rhino tonight @Adelaidecomedy any #Adelaide types fancy swinging by, you know where I'll be; Bar, Stage, then Bar. #notcomplicated
Anyone know of any Thursday night comedy gigs in Adelaide? I'm in town and will be twiddling thumbs this eve...
Respect to #FerntreeGully. NO campaigners were flyering outside Coles. Within 30mins theyd got so much grief they upped sticks & went home.
Just said "You're dreaming" in context for the 1st time, to a NO campaigner sprooking in Mountain Gate, it's time I applied for citizenship
2018 festival season starts today- Its all work work work, I wouldn't mind but the 2017 season just finished 2 weeks ago. #ItNeverEnds
On my flight home I watched #Life, #AlienCovanent & #Interstellar. I need a happy ending! Or in Interstellas case, one I can understand.
Just read Andrew Hastie's in @theheraldsun stating #Gay people cant give the "Optimal setting for raising children". Who voted for this guy?
Am loving the #Melbourne Spring. Rain & Misery, really brings out my good old #British grump! Does anyone know where I can order some sleet?
#GoldCoast, you've been a Sun sizzled pleasure.. I need to cool down now, so off to #Melbourne it is..
@adamrowecomedy @HWCCLiverpool Blaspheme! The Stand is the best. Repent by repeating 3 Dan Willis jokes in succession Adam
Retweeted by Dan Willis
#FathersDay eve, Erin's on a girly night, I'm taking Dolly for Dinner. Just realised it's my 1st solo Parent night out, just me & Dolly!
From a rainy Edinburgh Summer, I'm now in the Gold Coast for the start of Spring.. it hasn't dropped beneath 26 degrees Celsius.. #Paradise
Just heard reports of a serial killer in Switzerland, he force feeds his victims analogue watches. Apparently he's a complete SEIKO.
About to board my flight back home.. Edinburghs been great, but am looking forward to some home comforts..
About to watch my first show of the Fringe! @RaymondMearns had better be funny. I've heard he doing good for a new act.
Just paid for lunch with 20 pence pieces, this is definitely the last day of fringe- any ballast that could tip my bag over 25kg must go!
- @CraigyFerg wont be appearing at Jocks & Geordies this eve in Edinburgh, we don't play Saturdays. Sunday is his last chance of true glory!
It's the penultimate Jocks and Geordies tonight.. I'm beginning to think @CraigyFerg hasn't been getting our offers of #IrnBru & #haggis
Quality night out in the Toon. Now flying back to Edinburgh for my penultimate solo show. And by flying I mean I'm on a train.
Only 2 chances left for @CraigyFerg to perform at Jocks&Geordies. Im raising my offer to 2 crates of Irn Bru, 6 haggis's & a Proclaimers CD
For the 2nd time this Fringe I got a 50 in the bucket. This time it's €50, thus I'm £46.80 richer. I shall spend it on fizzy pop and crisps.
Woke in York, storm clouds spitting rain & lightening. Arrived in Edinburgh to blazing Sunshine. I'll expect snow tomorrow in Newcastle.
If you're on an island surrounded by #Zombies & the water starts Freezing. I suggest using your big hammer to smash the ice #GameOfThones
It's the 3rd Comedy Ashes Test today at 630pm at Liquid Rooms, England have a cracking team. Can the Aussies out craic em on the night?
I'd like to declare this an official #Meatloaf day for my #EdFringe gigs. Cos after all "2 out of 3 ain't bad".
Still working on @CraigyFerg to do Jocks & Geordies, we're willing to up the budget to: 2 Haggis's, a case of Irn-Bru & a Proclaimers CD
I've been advised to adjust my offer to @CraigyFerg to perform at Jocks and Geordies to: 3 Haggis's and a case of Irn-Bru.
.@CalHalbert has missed his train home.. Meaning I've just gained not only a drinking partner, but a roommate.
Our #Edfringe show "Jocks & Geordies" gets top Northern Comics. What would it take to get @CraigyFerg on? We can go 2 Haggis's & a pint.
2 nipples appeared on #BBCNEWS & license fee payers complain about "Paying for porn". I agree, it's 2017, porn should be free for all. #bbc
#GameOfThrones #SPOILERS Right, I've a question- If your problem is not having enough food for your armies. Why... fb.me/5ZEoeeMWh
All @turnerthecomic needs to do is stay awake. Can he do it????
Tuesdays going pretty well, lovely show of Whinging Pom, now heading to join @MickNeven for a Mid Life Climax. I do love being #grumpy
Having sweet potato soup with Queen of @howmanyyogis at #edfringe. You need a top notch Yoga guru, she's your lady.
I've just had the nicest Sweet Potato & Coconut soup in the world, ever. Bonningtons Eaterie, Sth clerk street. It's all downhill from here.
2 days of performing at #EdFringe17 & I'm now sat sipping tea, slurping soup & writing extra Grumpy stuff for Mid Life Climax. #grumpyisgood
It's the 1st Test of The Comedy Ashes Today, 2.50pm at Liquid Rooms(Warehouse). 11 World Class Comedians Packed into an hour. Free Entry!
Opening weekend of the #Fringe & Ive twice been in bed, asleep by 7.30pm. I'm MC'ing this evening at 7.45pm, I may have to break my routine
I'd better keep the reviews coming for AUSTRALIA: A WHINGING POMS GUIDE. Here's one from The Australian Times. theaustraliatimes.com/fringeworld-au…
I'm doing an Updated version of AUSTRALIA: A Whinging Poms Guide at the Fringe. Here's a review. indaily.com.au/arts-and-cultu…
45min walk to the gym, do i really need the gym now? Or should I just walk home?
I've arrived in Edinburgh for the #fringe and it's sunny, I'm confused and somewhat disappointed. #getamoveonandrainforcingthecrowdindoors
 
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