It is important to compartmentalize friendships and associations based on their responses to specific situations. Everyone isn't equipped to respond favorably to every circumstance. Yet, that doesn't discount their love for and appreciation of you.
INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA not only refers to the traumas passed down to lower generations. It also refers to the RESPONSES to trauma including substance abuse, gaslighting, blaming, self-blame, self-harm, procrastination, and suicide. YOU'RE the link that can break the cycle.
CLIENT: I don't think I've ever understood self-love and self-care.
ME: Self-love and self-care is EVERYTHING that you should be doing for yourself that allows you to experience love, encouragement, and adoration as if you DESERVE IT instead of thinking you have to EARN IT.
Forgiveness does not require you to forget any details of your personal experience. It is purely LIBERATION from the stronghold that your pain held over every decision you’ve made up to now. Now, you get to make decisions based on both EMOTIONS and LOGIC.
I forgive myself for requiring my friends, romantic partners, bosses, classmates, and any other external entity to affirm and validate me in ways that my parents didn’t know how to at the time. I also forgive my parents because they did the best they could.
One’s willingness to act as a repository for someone else’s insecurities doesn’t make one more “open-minded”. In fact, it increases one’s risk of suffering either physical or emotional abuse at the hands of someone who hasn’t mastered emotional regulation and impulse control.
Any truth, emotion, circumstance, or outcome that you do not learn to own…eventually OWNS YOU!
You can gain control by being available to different perspective which influences your thoughts which then influences your behavior/reactions.
Become more PROACTIVE and less REACTIVE
Everything you’re FIGHTING FOR isn’t always WORTH KEEPING. We sometimes fight to retain what we’ve grown accustomed to including adjusting to abuse, mistreatment, trauma, or simply a lack of growth and expansion. Learning the root of your choices is where change truly begins.
WE, as parents, serve as the model for mature behavior, emotional regulation, effective communication, and providing a safe and secure environment for our children to thrive.
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
WAS GOD REFERRING ONLY TO CORPORAL PUNISHMENT‼️ Chastising can be done effectively by other means BEFORE resorting to physical punishment.