Conan O'Brien
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My desperate search for celebrity friends continues on my podcast, but now it's time I inflict my neediness on my loyal listeners. Hear the first "Conan O’Brien Needs A Fan" minisode @ apple.co/TeamCoco
I never imagined my former office mate at SNL, @mrbobodenkirk, would someday become an action star. Hear my astonishment @ apple.co/TeamCoco
For their birthdays, both of my kids want the same thing: My word of honor that I’ll never do a TikTok dance.
I don't know how you'll take this gamers, but I just found out that sound that Yoshi makes in Mario is his appendix bursting.
The King Kong vs Godzilla movie is much more exciting than the prequel where they just went to counseling.
Now that I know Dr. Jill Biden isn’t a medical doctor, I really regret showing her my rash.
Sat down with the great Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) to chat about everything from SNL to The Big Short. Hear me beg for a role in his next film @ apple.co/TeamCoco
I get awkward any time I see a French person because I know we never sent a thank you card for the Statue of Liberty.
Either I just had a nice conversation with my sister or the best damn robocalling algorithm ever.
The moon landing was real but all the astronauts orgasms on the moon were faked.
Hear @sethmeyers and I swap stories about Lorne Michaels, writing at SNL, and hosting Late Night @ apple.co/TeamCoco
One thing I’m going to miss about the pandemic is that it finally felt normal to eat takeout in my car while crying.
Wow anyone else's leather chaps and harness feeling a little tighter these days?
Don't call it an Everything Bagel if it doesn't come with an autographed headshot of Kyle Chandler.
A meal service where instead of sending me ingredients, THEY make the meal and serve it to me at their place of business. And booze.
Cruise ships are coming back. Have we learned NOTHING as a society??
Honored to be included in the #AmericanMastersPBS documentary about Flannery O’Connor's life and legacy. Tune in for the premiere on @PBS tonight @ 8/7c. to.pbs.org/3dQTbym
Kate Hudson is my neighbor, which means she's had the misfortune of seeing me in a very tight bike outfit. Hear her horrifying tale @ apple.co/TeamCoco
Once again, I find myself largely unaffected by the NFL’s free agency period.
"I don’t think there's any better use of your money." - @ConanOBrien on the Official Scent Of @GoodGameNiceTry: LAN Party. youtu.be/ddT9ZGmbOVk
Retweeted by Conan O'Brien I surprised a raccoon in my garage this morning, and now he's telling his friends he made a human run into a wall.
Instead of saying "The days are getting longer," I like to walk around with a candle and cry, "NIGHT!...she withers...."
A lot of people complain about capitalism, but without capitalism, how could I have been threatened at knifepoint by a Times Square Elmo?
Within 10 minutes of our conversation, @SHAQ changed the title of my podcast and named @sonamov’s future children. Listen now @ apple.co/TeamCoco
President Biden just announced, by the end of 2022 every American adult who wants one will have access to a PlayStation 5.
CVS should carry a vaccine that protects against long receipts! Am I right people? Hello?
Birds are in for a rude awakening in 4 months when we all stop filling our feeders.
I agree that grocery store workers should get vaccinated before talk show hosts (though there are currently 3,000 more talk show hosts).
I'm starting to worry the Tom Cruise that comes over and hangs out with me in the garage is a deepfake.
Me: Can you explain non-fungible tokens to me?
Son: Dad, my bedtime is at 11:00.
Me: It's 8 in the morning.
Son: I know.
Happy #InternationalWomensDay to all of the incredible women of CONAN. #IWD2021
Reminisced with "Office Ladies" @jennafischer and @AngelaKinsey about that time I dropped from the Dunder Mifflin ceiling onto Dwight's desk. Listen now @ apple.co/TeamCoco
When it comes to the Royal Family, I always root for the woman who married the ginger.
It’s been 8 months. Time to buy herbal tea again and remember I don’t like it.
It always bothered me that the band Earth, Wind and Fire never included the fourth element, Magnesium.
Pokémon cards are cool again. Low-rise jeans are back. There's an Olsen sister on television– WHAT YEAR IS IT SOMEONE HELP ME.
.@MichelleObama's young readers' edition of Becoming is perfect for children ages 10 and up, and adults named Conan O’Brien. Get your copy @ becomingmichelleobama.com #IAmBecoming
Watching “Young Rock” — I hope everything turns out OK for that kid.
Had a blast bonding with @janemarielynch over tall person comedy, Irishness, and working with @AndyRichter. Hear our conversation @ apple.co/TeamCoco
Dunkin’ has added avocado toast to its menu. That’ll teach those snobs at IHOP.
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