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currently wearing skinny jeans and like why did we allow these to be canceled???
all libraries smell the same
excited to tell men this week that i like the drake album more than kanye's while having listened to neither
imagine owning THE bigmac nft. the possibilities are endless.
imagine if postmates sold nfts. like, hey let's order a chocolate milkshake AND the nft photo of it. am i a genius or an idiot?
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few things are more satisfying than watching the unvaccinated have tantrums
what did you wanna be when you were a kid and why was it a marine biologist?
Instead of attacking the unvaccinated share good information. More than 95% of doctors are vaccinated. Deaths per infection has plummeted. Vaccines are free and safe. There is so much good news! Don’t let professional arguers drag us into their argument.
Retweeted by cat
i feel like milkshakes on planes is a great idea
me to lady on plane: ma’am, i think (know) ur in my seat her: im sitting in the wherever you want group me: idk what that is her: i can sit here me: here’s my ticket w seat on it her: oh. *moves one seat over* TWITTER WHAT IS THE SIT WHEREVER YOU WANT GROUP?
normalize firing people for not clicking reply all
instagram: look at my new boyfriend twitter: I can't get a boyfriend reddit: my [21F] boyfriend [53M] boyfriend forbids me from going into the basement and has a sock drawer full of missing women's driver's licenses, AITA for being uncomfortable? the wedding is in three hours
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i kind of want all of twitter to troll @Twitter and start asking for fleets back to see what they would do
this is your daily reminder that if you're on the fence about getting the vaccine, you totally should and this pandemic is never going to end unless people do. k, thanks!
confirmed i am lazier than the average human.
serious question - how many times a week do you use postmates / deliver food to your place. probably 4 times for me. is that HIGH OR LOW? i will find out through this poll.
any of my mutuals in LA know how to play bridge and want to teach me (lol)
is it a firework or a gunshot is my least favorite game
can’t believe I’ve been listening to this every day for a year. happy anniversary @taylorswift13 and folklore.
if you were the kid in middle school who slightly dipped his tortilla chip into the salsa to make sure there were no “chunks” you’re a nerd now sorry
y'all should see me trying to operate a real remote and cable television in this hotel rn
when you show up to a restaurant thinking your fit is cute and they hand you the takeout bag cause they think you’re the delivery driver
my Lyft is a pt cruiser and I’m low key mortified
don’t mind me spending my whole 4th of July weekend ordering hot dogs on Postmates and watching True Blood
really need to know how taylor swift is celebrating the 4th
I really gave up on fleets. I never watch them. Not a single one.
Stating you have mental health issues doesn’t suddenly take away any personal accountability. Apologizing for your actions just to get an apology back, isn’t a sincere apology. If you’re admitting your industry is terrible for you - why stay? This is all ~self~ destructive.
RIP beta. You will always be one of my most treasured and favorite memories. 🖤🖤A5V
me: I hate crying so much it makes me miserable therapist: do you really think it's crying that makes you miserable? me: .... therapist: ....
Right before the earthquake hit - I was writing an apology text to a friend and now I can literally say my writing is earth shattering. I'm sorry for this tweet.
my sisters app was presented on #WWDC2021 how coooool 🥲…S
i actually think bo burnham is the most talented person on the planet. yes, and this pains me to say, even more than taylor swift.
I’ve become so used to ordering Postmates I’ve started ordering my meal for now and one for later.....anyone else do this lol 🙈
how are we about to be half way through 2021
Remember Clubhouse?
can someone make an app that easily handles all my DMV stuff for me thanks
A spicy chicken sandwich should not only be spiced sauce. The chicken needs to be spicy. Anything else is a chicken sandwich with spicy sauce
Retweeted by cat
the amount of postmates I’m going to have to order to fill the void in my soul that has formed because @taylorswift13 didn’t drop the third album we’ve been predicting for a month to come out today….
Taylor Swift: just do it come on Aaron Dessner: noooo Taylor Swift: do it, it will be great Aaron Dessner: it’s so mean idk Taylor Swift: Aaron... Aaron Dessner: happy birthday cardigan 🙏🙏🙏
is taylor dropping the third sister album in the trilogy this friday?
being a girl is ordering 3 things of the same size from the same brand and 1 item being too small and 2 being too big
i think about this every single day
Retweeted by cat
is 31 too old to start playing world of warcraft? asking for a friend
has anyone checked in on @scottborchetta this week?
my coworker: why is everyone freaking out about Taylor Swift today? me: well, it starts back when Joe Jonas....
are you ever super disappointed in the message in your fortune cookie?
Therapist: and what are we supposed to do when we’re feeling depressed? Me: Postmates?
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