Just a Chloe
43,721 followers
PEJUANG TanahAir 
Raman Bhatia 
sma_04 
In rural America, the quality of maternal health care (measured by the number of women who die) is about the same as Syria's. This is the reason why.
bloomberg.com/news/features/…
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Comedians in cars picking up their girlfriends from algebra 2
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those who love you best give you their best ~ that's what love is
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I think we are all far more burnt out than we realize or care to admit...
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Government: Some of these weapons may be too dangerous to circulate among the population.
Idiots: THIS IS AN ASSAULT ON MY GOD GIVEN LIBERTY!
Government: This plant is illegal
Idiots: Well you have to respect the law
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linkedin won’t let me log in unless i’m wearing slacks
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What base is it, when you look over, make eye contact and she runs the red light.
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I rarely get visitors which is kind of sad in that i hardly ever get to tell people that i don't like having visitors
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Women buy so many throw pillows because they can't decide which one to smother men at night with
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What movies taught me about Americans is that they never say goodbye when ending a phone convo.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe T-shirts that have a ton of writing on them? I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do with that.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe She’s a 10 but snores like a drunk sailor.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I’m depressed, I bet listening to the Smiths will cheer me up.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe You think you have big balls? Watch me pop them with my big knife.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe It’s really rude you’re not obsessed with me
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I wonder how much per head Chuck E Cheese is charging Dane Cook for the wedding reception?
Retweeted by Just a Chloe One day, thousands of years from now, archaeologists will dig up my dead body and be like, “She’s been lying on top of the remote this entire time.”
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Yeah Sure…I Could Eat
~the title of my autobiography
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Make sure to respond to a joke tweet with something super depressing.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Lookin’ for that human who doesn’t want to lose me
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Don't underestimate me. I've got that covered.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Shoutout to the lady drinking whiskey neat at 10:15 AM in the Delta Sky Lounge while reading The Handmaid’s Tale. I feel you sis.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe It’s always “Why aren’t you married yet?” And never “I have an old rich friend on the verge of death I’d like to introduce you to.”
Retweeted by Just a Chloe My husband went to bed early and said I could watch the next episode of our show without him and wow what a kind and selfless man who puts others before himself and…I’m now realizing that jerk watched that episode without me.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May you be able to forget everything you desperately need to forget.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe So, are you married or living with your mom because that decor tells a story ?
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Grandmas be like “never judge a book by its cover” then give you a bible stories coloring book
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I’m tired of reading everyone’s throw pillows.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe A fantasy league…but the players are all my mental health professionals.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe The rule is, you keep eating cereal until the milk in the bowl is gone.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe we’ve taken the liberty of taking your liberties. -the u.s. supreme court
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Me, any time another Ford Focus is near me in traffic: Looks like we got us a convoy
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I'm a little worried that one of you is my probation officer.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Hubby put silk sheets on our bed
And I'm wearing silky pajamas
So you know what that means
Mmmm yeah
Imma fall out the bed and punch him in the face at 4am
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Mixing chemical cleaners in the bathroom, hoping for a fun high.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Friend: I had this dream last night...
Me: Let me stop you right there, nobody gives a shit.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe * stands at the edge of the abyss screaming I Exist
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I've got nothing left in me but sighs and side eye
Retweeted by Just a Chloe Tall people don’t tell you they’re “tall”, it’s obvious, same thing with “smart”, it doesn’t need a spokesman.
Tomorrow we’ll discuss the Cons & Convicts of “nice guy”.
Retweeted by Just a Chloe as if we could fool the Fates
Retweeted by Just a Chloe I love when gas stations have fruit at the checkout counter.
“Can I get $20 on pump 3, and you know what, throw in a banana”
Retweeted by Just a Chloe She’s a giver, doesn’t mean she doesn’t need anything.
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