Bill Maher

All Photos 16 hours ago
Californians can live without nuts. Just ask Caitlyn Jenner, but not water. California should stop thinking about how to get water on almonds and start thinking about how to get it on fires. #CaliforniaDrought
13 House Republicans signed a letter demanding that @JoeBiden take a cognitive fitness test. He imagines he's president because he got the most votes.
At 10 pm ET, I will be on ⁦@RealTimers⁩ on @HBO with the brilliant ⁦@billmaher⁩, the hilarious ⁦@NikkiGlaser⁩, and the witty & wise ⁦@janecoaston⁩. I will try not to drag them down to my level. Join us. ⁦
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"It might be the death-fuck. You don't want the death-fuck." Can't argue with that. Watch @robreiner, @RachelBitecofer and @billmaher discuss the lack of a pandemic baby boom on #RealTime:
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If you think America is more racist now than ever, more sexist than before women could vote and more homophobic than when blow jobs were a felony, you have #Progressophobia and you should adjust your mask because its covering your eyes. #BY
.@TheDemocrats win this week! #KeystoneXL pipeline is dead. Shutting it down will cost thousands of jobs. Mostly of hackers in Moscow who were going to ransom it for #Bitcoin, but they are jobs. #ActOnClimate
"If you think about why these people are so pro-Trump, it’s not because he’s any good or he tells the truth – he never tells the truth, he never does anything – but, he says, 'I hate who you hate.' That’s what it’s about." – @HardballChris #RealTime
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Is it really liberal for someone who doesn't go to college and makes less money to pay for people who do go and make more? #LiberalGrift
So UFOs will remain in the category of "unexplained phenomena" along with Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, and Britney Spears's appeal to gay men.
"When elections become about the election itself, then you lost your country. Then you’re not really a democracy anymore." Watch @billmaher, @JamesCarville + @NickKristof on #RealTime:
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Someone must explain why celebrities running for high office is a recurring nightmare we can't seem to shake. Did we all not just witness the cautionary tale named Donald Trump? The last 4 years was a warning, not an inspiration.
There are countries all over the world where people are dying to get one of these vaccines, but here in America, we have to give you a jet ski to get one. #VaccineLottery
So sorry to all our fans, and my bosses (whoever they may be this week - man, HBO gets traded more than Bartolo Colon)that we'll miss another show tonight. I assure - and thank - all well-wishers I was never sick and feel great (undoubtedly the shot) and will be back next week
Across the country, old fossil fuel power plants are at risk of closing down as renewable energy grows. These bitcoin miners want to give them new life. My latest for @WSJ with @ceostroff…
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Shout out to @elonmusk for being a stand-up guy and suspending Tesla's @Bitcoin investment due to the horrible environmental effects: respect! Now hopefully other corporations will follow.…
Thanks to all wishing me get well - hard to do since I feel perfectly fine, but I appreciate it! Most upset about ending my streak going back to 1993 of never missing a Politically Incorrect or Real Time episode. Oh well, even Cal Ripken had to sit one out at some point.
"She represents something that is a vanishing species. I mean, it’s like watching the last woolly mammoth wandering the taiga...those Republicans aren’t going to survive." – @TheRickWilson on @Liz_Cheney #RealTime
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If @TheDemocrats had always policed morality as hard as they do now, they'd be down a lot of heroes. No FDR, JFK, RFK, LBJ, Clinton, Martin Luther King.
They booed Mitt Romney off the stage in Utah. Wow, that's like Lindsey Graham getting booed on Fire Island.
With Biden polling so well, right-wing media has had to ramp up the lying. Watch @billmaher take on #FauxNews on tonight's #RealTime:
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Cryptocurrency is like Tinkerbell's light - its power source is based solely on enough children believing in it. And unfortunately what is real is that its growth could single-handedly push global temperatures above the tipping point of 2°C. #Bitcoin #Mining #ClimateChange
Ted Cruz fell asleep during Biden's speech. He says he wasn't sleeping he was "protesting wokeness." #SleepyTed
"Every year I write down my #Oscars predictions. This year I predict that I'm not going to watch." – @billmaher #MeNeither
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Studies have shown that magic mushrooms can outperform #BigPharma antidepressants, and @RealTimers has the first new drug ad for this upcoming craze. #Tripitor!
Joe Biden hosted a virtual #EarthDay summit – and let's just say world leaders were much more impressed with this @POTUS than the last guy. Watch @billmaher's Real Time monologue – now streaming on @hbomax.
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A funny thing happened on the way to the old-age home. Biden slayed the Orange Dragon and with an approval rating of 59%. He got better at 78. Writing someone off simply for their age is the last acceptable prejudice. The younger generations hate every ism except ageism #OKBoomer
Happy #EarthDay! Our yearly reminder that planets are like trendy nightclubs. Amazing at first, and then too many people ruin the atmosphere. #TBT #ZombieLies
Right on the money 👏 @RealTimerss host@billmaherr breaks down exactly why experimenting on animals isn't just astronomically cruel, but a ginormous waste of taxpayer money
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It's 4/20! You know, the holiday you stay home from work, get stoned all day and eat junk food. Previously known as “2020.” #Happy420 #RealTime
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One of the #ZombieLies about Afghanistan is that we needed to be there to stop the plotting for the next 9/11. Watch @billmaher, @ianbremmer and @brooks_rosa on last night's #RealTime:
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I don't want politics mixed in with my medical decisions. And when all of our news sources for Covid information have an agenda to spin us, you wind up with a badly misinformed population. #BreakingNews #ScaredStraight
.@JoeBiden has a 59% approval rating. 72% approve of his handling of Covid, including 55% of Republicans. Who are now like, "Wow, are we glad this guy stole the election."
"I've been called so many things in my life. I am so used to being called names, but a 'racist' is one I will not take." – @MrsSOsbourne #RealTime
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Sharon Osbourne to Speak with Bill Maher in First Interview Since Exiting The Talk After Scandal​…
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