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Bill Maher

All Photos Twitter.com 3 hours ago
Really? This is what the president of the United States does with his time? twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
I had a great time talking with my friend @billmaher on my new podcast episode out TODAY, titled “Bill Maher and Bob Discuss COVID, Humanity, and Bob’s Dick Jokes.” Subscribe & Listen at: apple.co/bobsaget @ApplePodcasts @iTunes @AppleMusic
Retweeted by Bill Maher
Oh, and ladies, he's a good listener... Watch @ASP co-founder @ChrisEvans and @billmaher discuss the importance of engaging with people you don't agree with on #RealTime: youtu.be/sfRQFy1JIPc
Retweeted by Bill Maher
I thought, maybe if Trump could hear what a eulogy for him would sound like, maybe that would give him some insight into himself – so I prepared a modest example for him. #TrumpEulogy #FakeFuneral #FlyWhinyLittleBitchFly👼L
Trump says he’s done more for the Black community than anybody with the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln. Yes, there’s so much love for him, for months, they’ve been marching in the streets chanting his name. #ItIsWhatItIs
"Who are these perfect people out there in the world today, who have never made any mistake of any kind – and don’t they think it’s going to come back and bite them in the ass?" Watch @billmaher discuss cancel culture and race with @thomaschattwill and @bariweiss on #RealTime:
Retweeted by Bill Maher
Make no mistake America fighting COVID is like a boxer who went into the ring out of shape and is taking a beating for it. #Quarantine15
Okay, for everyone who has called me crazy the last three years because I was saying Trump will want to delay the election, I will accept your apology in weed.
TONIGHT: #RealTime returns with Emmy nominee and @TheFightMovie producer @kerrywashington, NYT bestselling author @JimCarrey, and panelists @thomaschattwill & @bariweiss joining @billmaher at 10PM on @HBO! bit.ly/July31Guests
Retweeted by Bill Maher
Well, "next week's tweet" has arrived. Don't say @billmaher didn't warn you.
Retweeted by Bill Maher
My @SilverLegacy stand-up show in Reno, Nevada has been rescheduled to September 5, 2021.
Bill's back, baby! Starting the clock on a new episode of #RealTime @HBO this Friday at 10PM.
Retweeted by Bill Maher
Great to see baseball back! (even the rain delay looks good!) But can someone tell me why we can sit every other seat in an enclosed, air-recycled aluminum tube, ie a plane, but not that way in an open-air stadium? Oh that's right, no good reason at all.
Resignation Letter — Bari Weiss. As a longtime reader who has in recent years read the paper with increasing dismay over just the reasons outlined here, I hope this letter finds receptive ears at the paper. But for the reasons outlined here,I doubt it. bariweiss.com/resignation-le…
Now that everybody's on the story I was begging them to cover for 3 yrs - Trump not leaving - I'm actually less worried about it. He fucked up so bad even the "rough ppl" he was counting on might not back him.That's the bright side of your country hitting rock bottom - Happy 4th!
"Look, he’s beaten. He’s feeble. He’s frail. He’s a failure. He’s fat. He’s...think of the next “F” word that you want. The question is not just to beat @realDonaldTrump. We have to eradicate Trump-ism." Watch @JamesCarville join @billmaher on #RealTime:
Retweeted by Bill Maher
My #BorgataAC stand-up show has been rescheduled due to #COVID19 @BorgataAC now May 28, 2021
"In the critical early months – January, February, maybe even before that – there was an empty chair in the Oval Office." Watch @AmbJohnBolton tell @billmaher how @realDonaldTrump botched the United States' coronavirus response on #RealTime:
Retweeted by Bill Maher
First time in a restaurant since March. The great ppl at the Polo Lounge always know how to make me feel at home!
Black people have to demand that white people stop culturally appropriating how mad they are about racism. It's great that Caucasians have finally joined the fight for racial justice, but hating racism the most? #BlackLivesMatter #VirtueSignaling #SJW
Trump said millions of mail-in ballots will be printed by foreign countries. And you know, there's one thing Donald Trump will not stand for, and that's foreigners meddling in an American election. #PutinsClaws
"The Republican Party...made a wager, they sacrificed their principles, such as they ever were, and their dignity, such as it is, all in the interest of serving a president who is unworthy of service, and that needs to be punished." – @GeorgeWill #RealTime
Retweeted by Bill Maher
At the #TrumpTulsaRally there are no precautions, no face masks, no social distancing. Because this is on-brand for the guy who f*cked a porn star without a condom.
Retweeted by Bill Maher
The greatest generation wasn’t great before World War II; the war made them great because they rose to the challenge. This is your challenge, #Millenials. I’m not asking you to storm the beaches at Normandy – just storm the beaches and the stores. #LiveLife #NoFear
Nothing says #AmericanStrong like a painted fat man lifting a cupcake with two hands. #TrumpBirthday #BabyTrump
Happy to see @ProjectLincoln #TrumpIsNotWell jumping on this issue. Although I think @RealTimers did it better last year… #WhatsWrongWithTrump
"If you have cases where you have police officers who you know are bad, who, it’s clear, have done bad things...and the system is incapable of ejecting those people, then I think you can only conclude that you have a corrupt system." – @radleybalko #RealTime
Retweeted by Bill Maher
We're at the Julius Caesar moment here where the Republic becomes a dictatorship with real talk about calling the military into the streets. Will this finally make Republicans say - I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that? #FadDaddy #MistressCovfefe #LadyG #Pineapple!
Hey @TheDemocrats, we're making some headway here. Can we not turn this into something that makes people want to vote for Trump? Yes, we should #divertthefunds but not #defundthepolice. #CommunityFirst #BlackLivesMatter
George Carlin - Germs, Immune System youtu.be/X29lF43mUlo via @YouTube Saint George, always ahead of his time. And almost always right.
Stand-up shows that have just been rescheduled due to #COVID19 @theWCEC, @DenverCenter, @Place_des_Arts, @MajesticEmpire
"The very fact that we’ve gotten to the point in our society where we’re asking about, 'Hey, are the rank and file with [Trump] or not?' is deeply troubling to me." Watch former @FBI Assistant Director @FrankFigliuzzi1 on #RealTime:
Retweeted by Bill Maher
Tough guys have to do tough things. Right now, it’s easy to spot the toughest police officers: they’re the ones telling their fellow cops to stop this shit. #ICantBreathe #GeorgeFloyd #BLMprotest
100,000 dead, the economy near collapse, soldiers in the streets, cities on fire. America great enough for you yet? #Trump2020 #MAGA #TiredOfWinning
Thought this editorial we did in 2018 was apropos right now. Heartbreaking that still so little has changed. #GeorgeFloyd twitter.com/billmaher/stat…
We need to demand something better than how the entrenched medical establishment manages symptoms, but cures and heals far too little.
Trump’s furious that Twitter started fact-checking his tweets. It’s weird to see someone fight with their favorite thing to write on. It’s like watching a pervert argue with a bathroom wall.
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