Nothing worse than two elderly people meeting for the first time on a plane and bonding the entire flight.
Going to my first festival this weekend! EDC BABY
Remember when Jay Z and Linkin Park halted racism?
GF watched Captain America for the first time. I asked two questions.
What happened to Bucky?
“He got saved.”
How did Steve get from the ‘40s to present day
“Time travel…who’s Steve?”
😂
My friends have figured out that in order to get me to show up somewhere all they have to do is invite my girlfriend and I’m not happy about it.
If you don’t put the grocery divider down I hope you have to sneeze but can’t.
Bruh! This is ice cream Ko Restaurant, Stop the cap.
🎶Part of your… WOOOOORLD �6z
Forced birth in a country with the highest maternal mortality rate, no paid maternity leave, no universal, subsidized childcare, no continued birth parent care, and frequently inaccessible mental health care.
This is a story all about how
The Secrets of Dumbledore is depressing. I was provided very little joy.
She said look ma no hands
Who wants to open up the speeches at my funeral?
I’d be too powerful if I was over 6 foot.
Streaming in a bit. What should we play??
I started Bridgerton, and enjoying it. Until this TRIFLING JEZEBEL DAPHNE wanted to be stupid. Simon deserved better.
Ladies if he wanted to, he would.
Do you have a voice in your head when you’re thinking or typing?
I ordered some Biscoffs off Amazon and they came individually wrapped. So... imagine the guilt
My mom used to make me let my little brother play, now he's making me bow to him for his help...
Purple is my favorite color. I want to do an accent wall in my new office. What are we thinking??
I tried to sit criss-cross applesauce just now and my entire body seized up