Alton Brown

All Photos Twitter.com 5 hours ago
Therefore: tacos [email protected] and are deserving of their own culinary category. Burritos are enclosed wraps.
Henceforth my definition of “sandwich” is: any food designed to be conveyed to the mouth by fingers whereby the food and fingers are separated by leavened bread which directly juxtaposes at least two sides of the filling and is consumed along with the filling.
Furthermore, “open-face” sandwiches are big, fat fakers...not sandwiches at all!
Oh, and once and for all: a hotdog sure as s__t is a sandwich.
We're still not sure whether we drank rum or bourbon...but here's a taste of what else you missed on last night's #QuarantineQuitchen. Catch the full show here: youtu.be/iH_k74FJzfU
Cheesecake is in fact a custard pie. Don’t bother replying in the negative. Just adjust your world view and move on with life.
Let me put this to rest: cheesecake is pie.
At 7:55 tonight @IngramElizabeth and I will remove our clothing. At 8:00 we will begin a live episode of #QuarantineQuitchen on my #youtube channel. (At 7:58 we will hastily re-dress...or will we?)
That’s right...I have my own rhino! I know I’ll probably never meet Apollo but I sure do like being able to help him, even from half a world away. #WorldRhinoDay2020 twitter.com/ingramelizabet…
Dear @SenatorLoeffler, Attila the Hun was referred to as “Flagellum Dei.” I know you don’t know what that means but you might want to have someone google it.
When it comes to dressing your vegetables, I say...add more vegetables. #sponsored by @Healthy_Choice.
If you want to know who I really am: I listen to #SteelyDan pretty much every day.
My last tweet was rendered ridiculous by the cursed autocorrect which changed “pore” to “pour.” Humiliated and ashamed, there’s nothing I can do but delete my account.
Hey guys, unfortunately my post production schedule on #goodeats is going to force us to forego this week’s #quarantinequitchen. @IngramElizabeth and I will be back next week for sure.
Don’t miss #GoodEatsTheReturn’s 1-hour Halloween special, The House That Dripped Chocolate, October 8 at 9 pm EST on @FoodNetwork. I suggest you find a blanket to hide under…
We TRULY believe that we could do so, so much more for Atlanta Humane and ALL other animal rescue organizations. It really is our relationships with animals that make us better human animals. 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤twitter.com/atlantahumane/…KEtB
Retweeted by Alton Brown
Honestly, we could never do enough to deserve an honor like this. The real heroes of neglected animals are the men and women of @atlantahumane and all those who support the mission with time, money, and by opening their hearts and homes. @IngramElizabeth twitter.com/atlantahumane/…
There...you finally got your stupid cheese pull. Get a taste of what you missed on last night's #QuarantineQuitchen below, or catch the full show here: youtube.com/watch?v=Bfx0xT….
“Food.” There...i said it.
Hey guys, @IngramElizabeth and I are live in my YouTube channel at 8pm. #QuarantineQuitchen
Tonight at 9 p.m. on @FoodNetwork's #BestThingIEverAte, I'm grabbing the only glazed doughnut that makes me make this face...
I miss the days when we just used Twitter to complain about customer service...oh, wait...
I just watched about half of the movie Julie and Julia totally with peripheral vision and got teary at the end...end as in end times. #whothehellhaveibecome
Be thankful for what you have. You have no idea how many people would love to have what you've got.
Retweeted by Alton Brown
Some nights, we have a plan. Last night, we had toilet shrimp... Here's what you missed on last night's #QuarantineQuitchen. Catch the full show here: youtube.com/watch?v=i06FJM…
It’s Tuesday, and that means a live #QuarantineQuitchen at 8pm on YouTube. We don't know what we're cooking, but we do know we'll be drinking...
I may or may not have found the best cinnamon roll in Santa Barbara. I’ll share, but only if you tune in to All-Star #BestThingIEverAte tonight at 9 p.m. on @FoodNetwork.
I woke this morning in a panic, as though the world was swirling in a maelstrom of insanity and madness...then I remembered doughnuts.
If you missed last night's #QuarantineQuitchen, you missed what might have been my favorite meal of all 22 episodes... Catch the full show here: youtube.com/watch?time_con…
Always happy to support Marla ntahumane twitter.com/atlantahumane/…
It’s not summer if you’re not smoking…ribs, that is. I’ll be smoking some tonight at 9 p.m. on All-Star #BestThingIEverAte on @FoodNetwork. See you there.
Supporting them gives me an intoxicating shot of hope. twitter.com/ingramelizabet…
Dear @ok grills, we need to talk about counter space.
Where shadow puppetry, cinema, and theater meat. Singular and sensational. twitter.com/manualcinema/s…
Finally a movie where Mark is just a normal guy. twitter.com/mark_dacascos/…
You want to up your culinary game? I’ve got two words for you: squeeze bottles.
Turns out, fire and fish (and Scotch) don't always mix...here's a taste of what you missed on last night's #QuarantineQuitchen. Catch the full show here: youtube.com/watch?v=XrtbvI…
I just want to say “good morning” to all you little beasties. Make sure to get your coffee in today and maybe smile at somebody for no damn reason at all.
We’re live again tonight! #QuarantineQuitchen live at 8pm on YouTube.
What dish is raw, tender, crazy delicious, and just a little bit dangerous...if you don’t know what you’re doing? You could guess or you could just watch me make it on @FoodNetwork’s All-Star #BestThingIEverAte, tonight at 9 p.m.
When I was a kid, one of my favorite uncles was a mailman. I would often walk his route with him (no vehicle, just feet) through some rough parts of town. I remember asking him why he did such a hard job. He told me that the postal service held everybody together. #USPS
A taste of last night's #QuarantineQuitchen, brought to you by liquor. If you missed it, catch up here: youtube.com/watch?v=FWECnL…
Next stop, Elizabeth’s homeland (or rather a quarter of her DNA’s homeland). Catch #QuarantineQuitchen live tonight at 8pm eastern on the AltonBrown channel on YouTube. youtube.com/watch?v=FWECnL…
Although this photo accompanied an article on another account titled “signs that it’s over” I think it’s clear that the man on the right simply purchased generic paper towels and boy is she pissed.
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