Albert Brooks
1,657,659 followers
7z Bolo 
Sergio Mariscal 
James Flanders 
I don’t often do this but I’m very proud of my daughter releasing her first single. Give it a listen, it’s great!!
linktr.ee/clairebrooksmu…
The new James Webb photos from today are spectacular. It’s obvious there are trillions of stars out there and there has to be millions of duplicate earths. I’m betting there’s at least two earths where the My Pillow guy thinks the elections were fair.
I’m a big fan of the James Webb telescope but part of me thinks someone just spilled some crap on the carpet.
The more I watch these hearings the more I can’t believe Richard Nixon was forced to quit because of a hotel room break in but this guy still runs around like he owns the place.
This is such a sad day. That a woman, her conscience, her doctor, her family can no longer make a decision like this is unbelievable. The whole purpose of this country was to separate Church and State. It's taken over 250 years but they're finally back together again.
At least the Supreme Court all said in their laughable senate auditions that they respect precedent. So that was nice.
This morning the Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that Americans can carry concealed weapons without any rules. Can we chip in and buy them a television set?
Could imagine one person who wrote the Constitution seeing what we have done with guns and saying “Good. That’s exactly what I meant.” I fucking doubt it.
If you ever wanted to learn photoshop my better half has created the ultimate course. It's easy and great and you will become a master at it. Trust me, it works!
kimberlybrooks.com/photoshop
Now that Elon Musk has taken over Twitter I finally feel safe in saying my high school math teacher was an ass-hole.
We signed with Columbia records but never really took off. Maybe it was my fault. RT @prolixmusic_: Albert Brooks, Paul McCartney and Keith Moon.
The last link apparently didn't work. I was trying to link to this story and wondering why Tucker even chooses to live here. I'm sure Fox would let him do the show from the Kremlin. motherjones.com/politics/2022/…
R.I.P. William Hurt. So sad to hear this news. Working with him on Broadcast News was amazing. He will be greatly missed.
The more I hear Trump praising Putin the more certain I am those pee tapes really exist.
Since this date will never ever appear again I thought it appropriate to post this clip. shorturl.at/ioEI2
Unbelievable game between 49ers and Packers. I'm sure Aaron Rodgers feels terrible. Maybe he can drown his sorrows with a vaccination.
This is a landline. My cell phone is smarter and can block these. Landline does not.
Asking for help. Getting at least 20 calls a day from people who sound like they are in India. Calling me about Spectrum, Medicare, Hilton, on and on. I have Nomorerobo, I'm on a government do not call list. Cant block them because it's always a different number. Any ideas?
I don’t know if this is a rumor but someone told me Pete Davidson is dating the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Isn’t it funny when Republicans win Trump and the pillow guy say everything went perfectly.
R.I.P. Mort Sahl. Most young people have no idea who he was but he was one the few comedians who yanked comedy out of vaudeville type humor into the modern age. One of the very first to just talk to the audience. We’ll miss you Mort.
The earth is flat. We never went to the moon. The vaccine has a microchip in it. Trump had nothing to do with Jan. 6. Elvis is still alive. It feels so good to be fucking nuts.
R.I.P. Norm Macdonald. I never got a chance to know him but he made me laugh so many times with his brilliant wit and delivery. Comedy lost a great one today.
My better half has a new book out today that finally shows people who love to paint how to do it safely and creatively. If you've ever thought about painting it's a MUST. So proud.
ow.ly/cBLj50FaYOv
R.I.P. Charles Grodin. A brilliant comedy actor. I had the wonderful experience of working with him in my first feature “Real Life” and he was amazing. Rest In Peace, Chuck.
We had such a great band and yet no one ever heard of us. RT @peterkidder: Albert Brooks,Paul McCartney & Keith Moon
I can't believe 30 years ago today Defending Your Life was released! To celebrate it Criterion has a beautiful reissue of the movie available in a few days. They did a great job, it's worth a look.
ow.ly/YYTf50E5tJo
Just got back from the QAnon inauguration of Donald Trump. Lovely event. The Martians especially enjoyed it.
Trump said in his CPAC speech that Biden has undone all of his achievements. It’s true. Covid is down, people aren’t attacking the Capitol, we’re acknowledging science and we’re not reading daily hate tweets. Miss ya, buddy.
After acquitting Trump, Mitch McConnell is giving the most passionate guilty speech I’ve ever heard. Rod Serling called. He wants you out of the Twilight Zone.
Taxi Driver came out 45 years ago today. And we still don't have an answer to "are you talking to me?"
Terrible weather in the Northeast. I hope people are ok. As Majorie Taylor Greene says these Jew storms have got to stop.
Ii’ve decided not have any more Subway tuna sandwiches until Marjorie Taylor Greene tells me what’s really in it.
R.I.P. Larry King. I loved his all night radio show in the 80’s. You could call in at 1 in the morning and just riff for hours. His radio show made a great opening for Lost In America. Rest easy Larry.
Watching Brady and Brees. Unbelievable. These guys are so old they’re getting the vaccine.
I was missing Trump’s tweets so to duplicate the feeling I put my nuts in a vice.
Trump is not concerned about being banned from Twitter permanently he said if Kimberly Guilfoyle can do what she did at the convention she can stand outside and yell his tweets and everyone will hear her.
Buh-bye. Twitter bans President Trump’s account - CNN google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.…
Trump announces today he will not be going to Biden’s inauguration. If only he didn’t go to his.
It was so nice to have Trump off Twitter for 12 hours do you really have to let him back on? Can’t we at least pretend he’s gone? Come on Twitter.
Seriously, if they can't remove Trump at least give him a fake nuclear football. Give him fake codes and connect the red phone to a Burger King. At least do that.
On July 27th Trump called for protesters who damaged federal buildings to get a minimum of 10 years in prison. My question is does he share a cell with Rudy Giuliani or do they get their own?
Donald Trump has been sitting in the middle of a forest, lighting matches, for four years. Let’s not be surprised that the whole thing is finally burning down. He got what he wanted. He should leave TODAY.
Watching the Trump supporters storm the Capital. Congratulations Donald Trump. Your wish has come true. You are taking us all down as you exit.
It was an amazing achievement last night in Georgia, but I have to agree with President Trump. This never could have happened if Hugo Chavez didn't come back from the dead and fuck with those machines.
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