Albert Brooks
1,665,554 followers
Crypt0grapher 
Ashok Devanampriya 
Andrew Willis 
R.I.P. Norm Macdonald. I never got a chance to know him but he made me laugh so many times with his brilliant wit and delivery. Comedy lost a great one today.
My better half has a new book out today that finally shows people who love to paint how to do it safely and creatively. If you've ever thought about painting it's a MUST. So proud.
ow.ly/cBLj50FaYOv
R.I.P. Charles Grodin. A brilliant comedy actor. I had the wonderful experience of working with him in my first feature “Real Life” and he was amazing. Rest In Peace, Chuck.
We had such a great band and yet no one ever heard of us. RT @peterkidder: Albert Brooks,Paul McCartney & Keith Moon
I can't believe 30 years ago today Defending Your Life was released! To celebrate it Criterion has a beautiful reissue of the movie available in a few days. They did a great job, it's worth a look.
ow.ly/YYTf50E5tJo
Just got back from the QAnon inauguration of Donald Trump. Lovely event. The Martians especially enjoyed it.
Trump said in his CPAC speech that Biden has undone all of his achievements. It’s true. Covid is down, people aren’t attacking the Capitol, we’re acknowledging science and we’re not reading daily hate tweets. Miss ya, buddy.
After acquitting Trump, Mitch McConnell is giving the most passionate guilty speech I’ve ever heard. Rod Serling called. He wants you out of the Twilight Zone.
Taxi Driver came out 45 years ago today. And we still don't have an answer to "are you talking to me?"
Terrible weather in the Northeast. I hope people are ok. As Majorie Taylor Greene says these Jew storms have got to stop.
Ii’ve decided not have any more Subway tuna sandwiches until Marjorie Taylor Greene tells me what’s really in it.
R.I.P. Larry King. I loved his all night radio show in the 80’s. You could call in at 1 in the morning and just riff for hours. His radio show made a great opening for Lost In America. Rest easy Larry.
Watching Brady and Brees. Unbelievable. These guys are so old they’re getting the vaccine.
I was missing Trump’s tweets so to duplicate the feeling I put my nuts in a vice.
Trump is not concerned about being banned from Twitter permanently he said if Kimberly Guilfoyle can do what she did at the convention she can stand outside and yell his tweets and everyone will hear her.
Buh-bye. Twitter bans President Trump’s account - CNN google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.…
Trump announces today he will not be going to Biden’s inauguration. If only he didn’t go to his.
It was so nice to have Trump off Twitter for 12 hours do you really have to let him back on? Can’t we at least pretend he’s gone? Come on Twitter.
Seriously, if they can't remove Trump at least give him a fake nuclear football. Give him fake codes and connect the red phone to a Burger King. At least do that.
On July 27th Trump called for protesters who damaged federal buildings to get a minimum of 10 years in prison. My question is does he share a cell with Rudy Giuliani or do they get their own?
Donald Trump has been sitting in the middle of a forest, lighting matches, for four years. Let’s not be surprised that the whole thing is finally burning down. He got what he wanted. He should leave TODAY.
Watching the Trump supporters storm the Capital. Congratulations Donald Trump. Your wish has come true. You are taking us all down as you exit.
It was an amazing achievement last night in Georgia, but I have to agree with President Trump. This never could have happened if Hugo Chavez didn't come back from the dead and fuck with those machines.
Today was in an historic day. Donald Trump finally proved there was voter fraud. By him.
I’m a very suspicious person. Last year I wished everybody a happy new year and look what happened. So this year, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.
I’m sitting here this evening reading the news seeing that Trump, going against his entire government, is denying Russia had anything to do with this unprecedented hack and I’m now convinced we have the Manchurian Candidate in the White House. I’m not joking I now believe this.
Today was a big day for Mitch McConnell. He acknowledged Joe Biden won the election and finally admitted the North won the Civil War.
Supreme Court just rejected it. That's it. It's over. Although I hear Trump wants to take it to North Korea.
Many people are concerned because they haven't heard anything from the Supreme Court. Word has it they're laughing too hard.
Supreme Court just turned down bid to overthrow election. I imagine this call:
“Amy it’s President Trump”
“Hello sir”
“You let me down big time”
“Sir, these cases were insane.”
“Pack up your things, you’re fired”
“It’s a lifetime appointment sir”
“That’s not what Rudy said!”
I don’t know what television station Trump watches but on my television Britain is getting the shot first. How come we had to listen to Trump telling us he invented it, he was producing it, he was carrying it, and this morning they’re getting it in England.
Pennsylvania judge threw out Trumps case tonight signaling an end to this madness. Wondering what Giuliani’s next move is. I think he’s going to say Pennsylvania isn’t really a state and show up with a 49 star flag. And hopefully a better brand of shoe polish.
If I were Rudy Giuliani I would stop with these bullshit lawsuits and spend my time suing Just For Men.
How can Trump refuse to share Covid data with the Biden team? How is this even allowed? We are letting an angry 6 year old ruin our lives. I can’t fucking stand it.
Yesterday, in one day, 144,000 new cases of Covid, 65,000 hospitalizations, 1,893 deaths, zero response from the White House.
But that's ok. They're very busy looking for dead voters.
Every Republican that is keeping Biden from security briefings and proper transitioning is going to be held responsible if God Forbid something happens to the country. This is a stupid game. It puts us all in jeopardy.
I think I found the voting irregularities. The 3 million illegals who snuck in to vote for Hillary came back last week and brought 2 million more of their friends. Problem solved.
It's scary to picture Trump sitting in his room tweeting I WON over and over again. What happens over the next 2 months? What is this guy going to do to us? An angry, vindictive man who still has full power is not something to take lightly.
Watching Trump just now basically saying that all of America is stealing this election from him, that people tallying votes are crooks, that Detroit and Philadelphia are too corrupt to even count votes. It’s heartbreaking. He will burn this country down before he leaves.
I can imagine Trumps call today to Amy Coney Barrett. “Listen honey I got you that job I expect something in return I want you to say all voting is illegal and say we need to keep me as president as long as I want it. You do that and I won’t say you gave everybody Covid”
Donald Trump is claiming fraud and he knows what he’s talking about. He taught a class in it at Trump University.
Let’s look on the bright side. If Donald Trump wins it’ll give a nice boost to his ego .
Whatever happens tomorrow just remember we’re all Americans and we all…… oh screw it, I’m going to Canada.
They asked Trump if he saw the World Series he said yes, no comment, he wanted to take the final score to the Supreme Court.
I watched a few minutes of Trump's rally. Aside from wanting to put all his opponents in prison he said if Joe wins you can never cut down another tree. He said if you even touch a tree the left will put you in jail. Thank God I heard this. I was going to put up a hammock.
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