Adrian Edmondson

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The letter '' o my keyboard has stopped workig. It's fuckig aoyig.
My facebook memories are not quite how I remember them, but I suppose we were young and carefree, and the camera never lies…
The last time I was a 'lookalike' in @PrivateEyeNews it was George Carey, the Archbishop of Canterbury. I'm sort of impressed by my own range.
Rarely plug a thing I'm in twice, but urge you to watch Back To Life if you haven't seen it. I'm in S2, but only a bit, so don't let that put you off. It's a brilliant creation, just so HUMAN. Brilliant people at the top of their game. You'll feel better!…
Dear @Microsoft Word, I've bought you at least 5 times over the last 30(?) years. Now you make me 'subscribe'. Yet every time I fire you up you still have to 'verify' me, and you take so long... It's like being someone's lifetime best friend but having to show ID when I see them.
‘Britain Greatest Sandwich’ ?
Glenn didn’t get the memo about the blazer
Thought this was an unbelievable amount of gear when I saw this pic as a school kid, now it seems rather modest.…
Argument about the renaming of Henman Hill/Murray Mound needs to be settled:
@AdrianEdmondson After Henman Hill and Murray Mount what rhymes with Raducanu? The Raducanu Volcanu..
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
I notice news outlets are running out of people who have met Emma Raducanu. I thought I saw her once outside the pasty van at Reading services - it wasn't her, but I THOUGHT it was her... I am available for media interviews at the going rate!
Why is it so difficult to match the TV coverage with Test Match Special? They're about a minute out of synch!
Beyoncé dancing to the closing credits theme tune from Bottom. [sound up]
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
“What is civilisation?” asked Kenneth Clark. “I don’t know. I can’t define it in abstract terms, yet. But I think I can recognise it when I see it.” Turning to the Oval pavilion, he added: “And I’m looking at it now.” #Civilisation
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
“What do you think a fucking 5G chip is, fucknuts? You think it floats around in your body going on Instagram and telling the government you went to the store? No one fucking cares where you go, you absolute fucking fuck-barf.” (Please get vaccinated)…
Now loving the girl in pigtails who’s dancing with crazy red shirt man and his avoiding thinking about him by looking only at the floor.
It’s a short clip but worth repeat watching and singling out a different individual each time. I keep thinking ‘well, he’s the funniest… no, HE’s the funniest…. no, it’s THIS one…’ Sublime. Current fave - guy in light brown suit.…
Michael Gove 'looked jolly convincing as he sweated and grunted through a vigorous twist routine at the Frug-A-Go-Go Beer Keller. His hot serge trousers flapped wildly over his enormous plastic sandals as he jumped and jumped and gyrated towards a long-haired man.' (Bonzos)
Love some of the juxtapositions in my singles collection
Good news for fans of dark comedy. Back To Life series two is on BBC iPlayer 31st August. #BackToLife
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
I loved 'Back To Life' series 1 so much I wrote @daisy_haggard a fan letter. She replied by giving me a part in series 2. He's a very unpleasant bully. Not sure what she's trying to say... But it starts on Tuesday!
This Rolling Stones jamboree on BBC supposedly in honour of Charlie Watts shows exactly how much TV directors care about drummers - not a single sausage.
I'm getting unsolicited mail about 'my funeral plan' - do people know something I don't?
Always thought 'Love Hurts' was an original number for Gram and Emmylou. I was wrong. Think G and E did it better though.
The Everly Brothers. Brilliant, always were, but hadn't felt the urge to listen again until Don died the other day. Feel I'm reappraising people only after they die. Is that ghoulish? And also, which one was the top voice?
Well, that’s the first preview out of the way. The shift from cacking it/wondering why anyone would do this to themselves for a living/wanting to run away to a new life as a car park attendant in southern Italy… to euphoria… has happened again. It’s basically a drug,
Just watched two hours of Sean Lock clips. Christ he was funny. This is a belter:…
My friends daughters hamster has been missing and feared dead for almost 2 weeks now. Last night she forgot to wash up the paint tray after a day of decorating. We now think the hamster may still be alive…
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
View from south bank outside National Theatre - anyone know what this church is?
"I told you it was fucking hunting season Doreen but Nooooo, we had to visit your sisters new place by the lake!"
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
Some very good responses to this, made me laugh a lot. My favourite is ‘grünraumalkoholrausch’ (Green room alcohol frenzy) from @sezlilbet
What’s the German word for the kind of ‘enthusiasm’ celebrities exhibit as they’re being spun on ‘The Wheel’?
POV the bouncer watching you and your mate act sober as you approach the doors
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
"The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas." - Linus Pauling (1901 – 1994, American chemist, author and educator)
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
Whenever they write that so-and-so ‘sadly passed’ I imagine someone who passed their driving test that everyone knows is a menace on the roads.
"Great. Now, don't forget the 🤣or no one will realise it's funny" From previous@PrivateEyeNewss, new issue out today.#cartoonnl
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
Twas but 8 years ago Boris told us wind farms couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. The technology must have improved I suppose? Or perhaps Carrie makes a lighter rice pudding? Or maybe it's all bollocks?…
Do Oval Invincibles supporters get their money back now they have been beaten?
Retweeted by Adrian Edmondson
This is coming up soon. I'm giving my best Nazi. No pressure...…
The symbol for karate on Discovery appears to show one bloke punching another in the gonads:
There are a lot of kid’s bikes events aren’t there?
TV Olympics coverage: BBC - mostly interviews with competitors families, trying to make them cry. Discovery - mostly graphics, moments of unexplained silence, and adverts.
Has ANYONE ever bought something as a result of a flier being left under their windscreen wiper? Someone must be giving these bastards hope…
It's basically Ronnie Corbett v Nigel Farage. One of them is dead, but I think he might win.…
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