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kissmysass

CHIRON Thou hast undone our mother. AARON Villain, I have done thy mother. #jokegoals
procrastinating very hard in keeping with today's spirit shrd.by/hMBxcl @dj_tennis #musiclove
WHY SETTLE FOR SUBPAR D WHEN YOU CAN SIMPLY REMAIN
Term to be abused and misused liberally next: ASMR #useyourbrowserblocks
I don’t need fesmm I miss the GOOD OLD DAYS when men were MEN & women were WOMEN! and there were no VACCINES & if you got a disease you DIED
Retweeted by kissmysass
I don't need feminms I AGREE! Abortion should be illegal and also women making choices should be illegal also women should be illegal
Retweeted by kissmysass
when you want better skin but also lowkey a meth lab #illtakeyoutothebodyshop #incongruityshrd.by/SJhXTA
ever so rarely people send me music and i'm like WAIT YOU TOO??? SO I'M NOT ALONE? shrd.by/zjqd6c @huerco_s
MAKE THIS MY SHROUD UPON MY DEATH BEFORE GIVING ME THE VIKING SEND-OFF I DESERVE #ballerdeathsshrd.by/mN2Y12
"lets err on the side of gay"
Because, OF COURSE, the linguistic prowess of our respective gouts is the ONLY thing that sets ol' Ben and I apart.
Never in all my days did I imagine relating this hard to Franklin, except my gout is nowhere nearly as articulate as his.
Or my personal favourite, which also doubles as the best new insult I've learned: YOUR BODY IS REPLETE WITH STAGNANT HUMORS! Perfect.
"You philosophers are sages in your maxims, and fools in your conduct." #slayin
A not altogether serious conversation between Benjamin Franklin and his "gout": shrd.by/LYDsOT #toomuchshade
"Being sad doesn’t amount to being bored. I am sad, but I enjoy myself hugely." @kibbanoir your boyfriend camus was something else
sometimes overt sometimes covert toujours rêver de pâturages plus verts A Tribe Called Government - @jordanrakei shrd.by/JFvZwh
i often wonder if mvnch ever foresaw how deeply the scream would get embedded in millennial culture and then i let it go coz he dead
Why indeed? Become a squatter. Shake hard enough to make money fall out your ass. Overthrow capitalism. #smh
"When you come at the king, you best not miss." Budding archer: *misses*
What do you call balloons one short of a hundred and absolutely free? 99 Muftballons.
all your heroes will fall and that's why, friends, all of mine are dogs
The truth only hurts if you're delusional.
Retweeted by kissmysass
thing about being sick: you can no longer tell fridays apart from sundays and how could that possibly be bad?
still absuuuuurdly good shrd.by/4mpS8n
In the past 2 years, I have ignored many a conversations directed at me to this. shrd.by/4Jqlj6 @chris_loeffler #musiclove
Placing a combined public embargo on MBTI personality tests and astrology because I am no longer 10 years old.
#9, and the last, in the #uvikasingstheblues series. That was 'Everything On It' a poem by Shel… shrd.by/ptrm8t
That's #9 in #uvikasingstheblues series. If this flooded feed is making you want to kick me in… shrd.by/XSh6Ck
Things That Offended Me About The New Jungle Book Movie. New article is up and hilaire (one… shrd.by/meNqAn
RT @uncouthuncouth: Things That Offended Me About The New Jungle Book Movie shrd.by/FcNJJg #JungleBook #funny #popculture
Reviving that thing where I hit on handsome trees. #dippedingold #howyoudoin #green #goldshrd.by/qankxS
po pancaking villains is my jaaaaaam #uvikawatchesstuff
kung panda 2 is the true inception sequel we never deserved #thatgenderbendingramslyyyyy #uvikawatchesstuff
In an act that is absolutely *not* an indicator of my irresponsibility, I left my phone at a bar last night; like one does.
Hello from the ouroboros of self-created post-modern guilt!
Only thing left to do is, of course, own being terrible and exchange old baby for new baby and forever live with abandonment guilt.
Also burst into tears after shaking the bejesus out of said baby in order to make it work only to remember phone was baby this week.
 
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