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The Onion
Female Friend Group Fails In One Duty Of Providing Good Gynecologist Recommendation onion.com/1ChgESl pic.twitter.com/vkuY1Pq7U5
Dementia Study Reveals Fond Memories First To Go onion.com/1ChgASy pic.twitter.com/66nW5kGdxC
The Onion’s Independence Day Fireworks Spectacular onion.com/1Chgv1d pic.twitter.com/GiDjUQgi3I
Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts onion.com/1ChgoCT pic.twitter.com/qI9wi4S5r5
Pool Owner Has Bathing Suit That Touched His Penis You Can Borrow onion.com/1Chg3Qr pic.twitter.com/wpP9OCscJG
Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties In Closer Proximity To Ocean onion.com/1ChfJBb pic.twitter.com/Xc4RrJ0698
Grown Man Who Owns Bane Action Figure Has Love To Give onion.com/1C6hPUe pic.twitter.com/CG2s9Qt5qy
Man Trying To Get Out Of Executioner Duty onion.com/1C6glJF pic.twitter.com/0P2kKz99pa
The House From The Windows 95 Maze Screensaver Is Up For Sale clickhole.com/r/1766tsd pic.twitter.com/qu4gZOVcbs
Retweeted by The Onion
Man On Vacation Suddenly Realizes No One Feeding His Hostages onion.com/1C6esfU pic.twitter.com/YQVci2Ok9a
Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients onion.com/1NDacpA pic.twitter.com/epuy7vKRci
New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion onion.com/1ND6Sed pic.twitter.com/6BcIQFX0G4
Here are some tips for preventing painful fireworks-related injuries: onion.com/1NCZL5y pic.twitter.com/PmzOJwH3Bh
Man On Cusp Of Having Fun Suddenly Remembers Every Single One Of His Responsibilities onion.com/1NCZnns pic.twitter.com/2AJLU2wKJj
Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal onion.com/1ND47JS pic.twitter.com/mcptG4TizZ
New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don't Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem onion.com/1NCPHJU pic.twitter.com/NRChhk9dNL
Here's how towns and cities nationwide are celebrating Independence Day: onion.com/1NCP0QH pic.twitter.com/0Q8MkkN5BP
Here are some tips for a fun and fulfilling road trip: onion.com/1NCLGoH pic.twitter.com/FcmBNNfonc
Nation’s Dogs Vow To Keep Their Shit Together During 4th Of July Fireworks onion.com/1NCJSw1 pic.twitter.com/p1jF7AUvNS
Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed onion.com/1LFVAqy pic.twitter.com/AHQTeApLve
‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating onion.com/1LFSzqg pic.twitter.com/6s3mURqjZp
“Eyebrow-raising evolved during this period for much the same purpose.” onion.com/1LFSsLh pic.twitter.com/mmf8fkpSWQ
13-Year-Old Girl Can't Believe How Immature Everyone Is onion.com/1LFULhl pic.twitter.com/JVramgK6pR




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