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The Onion
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We Asked 12 Vegetarians To Draw A Picture Of A Turkey And This Is What They Came Up With
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"I don’t know what Aunt Tina’s been feeding him.”
STATSHOT: Why Are We Hosting Thanksgiving?
In Focus: Thousands Gather For Stuffing Of Giant Rockefeller Center Turkey
Families Of Bears Players Ask To Have Faces Blurred Out During Thanksgiving Promos
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In Focus: Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon
Makeshift Opinion Thrown Together From Viewpoint Currently Dominating Conversation
Betrayed: This 26-year-old had to buy her own plane ticket home for Thanksgiving
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In Focus: 11 Steps For Cooking A PERFECT Thanksgiving Turkey
In Focus: The Onion's Guide To Hosting A Perfect Thanksgiving
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In Focus: Siblings Gather Around PowerPoint To Hash Out Off-Limits Topics For Thanksgiving
Only College Student Staying On Campus Planning Saddest Thanksgiving Meal Of All Time
Everyone In Family Compliments Grandmother On How Small And Feeble She’s Gotten
Man At Airport Pissed That Other People Had Same Idea To Go Home For Thanksgiving
NFL To Crack Down On Players For Excessive Thanksgiving Celebrations
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In Focus: 60 Percent Of Local Man's Workday Spent On Sports Fandom
TIP: Avoid airport parking by leaving your car on the side of the road with its hazards on
Desperate GOP Spotted In South Dakota Trying To Build Keystone Pipeline Themselves
If you buy just 11,000 books this year, make them all The Onion’s new book:
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