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The Onion
The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 26, 2015
[American Voices] Study: 1 In 5 Spouses Commits ‘Financial Infidelity’ #WhatDoYouThink?
Top Story: “This is my favorite category every year—it always gets me hard as a rock.”
In Focus: Internet Rocked By Blogger With Sarcastic Sensibility
Top Story: Man With Serious Mental Illness Committed To City Bus
In Politics: Republicans Address Income Inequality By Offering Middle Class Hot Stock Tip
Top Story: Nation Can’t Wait To Hear Patriots Fans’ Excuses This Time
In Focus | Report: Imagine How Good It Would Feel To Just Crawl Back Into Bed Right Now
Biden Co-Presents Best New Starlet Award With Shyla Stylez At 2015 AVN Adult Movie Awards Show
STATSHOT: Least Inspiring Biographical Movies
In Local News: Man Too Deep Into Sentence To Avoid Saying Word He Can’t Pronounce
In Business News: Burger King Franchise Owner Adds Sad Little Personal Touches To Restaurant
.@PartTimeRogue you're saying it's British custom to join a host in a bath? Who am I to question culture? #Mortdecai
Retweeted by The Onion
Man’s Area Code Provides Exciting Glimpse At Past Life
"Patience, commitment, and about 18 years: This is what marriage asks of us.”
“That right should never be taken away from a child’s parent. Never.”
In Focus: Family, Friends Really Looking Forward To Next 9 Months Of Being Around Kobe Bryant
Retweeted by The Onion
Chicago Introduces New Citywide Gun-Sharing Stations
Lonesome Alito Declares Marriage Only Between A Man And The Sea
New NCAA Regulations Prohibit Student-Athletes From Studying More Than 30 Hours Per Week
Retweeted by The Onion
Unsold Google Glass Units To Be Donated To Assholes In Africa
[American Voices] Study Links Negative Tweets To More Heart Disease #WhatDoYouThink?