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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 5,846,401 followers
Week In Review | Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word 'Gluten' onion.com/PjRdHB
  6h
Add a cool filter to your photos of @newbelgium's #snapshotwheat or bear the brunt of your friends' laughter. pic.twitter.com/Y2Bd5XnpS4
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  7h
In Local News: Gas Station Clerk Glad To See Pump 2 Doing So Well Today onion.com/PjR7j8
  7h
In Business: Fisher-Price Designer Would Like To See 2-Year-Old Try And Choke On Newest Version onion.com/PjQZjN
  9h
In Music News: Good Charlotte Recording 10 New Songs To Be Played At Low Volume In P.F. Chang’s onion.com/1gZHTUn
SPONSORED: Barbed Wire Industry Protests Negative Portrayal In ‘Evil Within’ Video Game onion.com/1gZHzF3
TOP VIDEO: George W. Bush Shows Off His Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere onion.com/1gZHb9J
In Local News: Moviegoer Manages To Sneak Candy Past Teenage Usher Earning $7 An Hour onion.com/1gZGVYa
This Week Last Year: Justin Bieber Fan Jealous Of Anne Frank onion.com/1jlcx7B
Weekend Magazine: Our Tips For Getting Nauseated And Staying Nauseated onion.com/1gZGEo7
In Tech News: New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App onion.com/1jlc1Xg
Editorial Cartoon: 'Not-So-Good Friday' onion.com/1jlbPav
Tips For Planning The Perfect Easter Egg Hunt onion.com/1jlbsgh
The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014 onion.com/1jTEoim
In Local News: Man With No Plans Just Too Exhausted To Go Out onion.com/1jTDpi7
Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of NYC Manhole Cover In For One Wacky Adventure onion.com/1jTDbYx
Everyone In Bustling Chinese Parade Attempting To Elude Pursuers onion.com/1jTD137
Top Video: Tips For A Good Night’s Sleep onion.com/1jTCqyA
In Local News: Area Man Cleans Apartment Once Every Relationship onion.com/1jTCazJ
This Week's Top Story: FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States onion.com/1jTBWIQ
In Science: Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Suggest Early Man Was Battling A Lot Of Inner Demons onion.com/1gRms7X
Parents Surprised Cruel Teen Daughter Hasn't Pushed Classmate To Breaking Point Yet onion.com/1gRmkoM
Man Attempting To Determine Whether Restaurant Closed Without Getting Too Close onion.com/1gRlCb5
Alabama Quietly Strikes Bo Bice Day From State Calendar onion.com/1gRlzfB
Week In Review | Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word 'Gluten'