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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,035,847 followers
[American Voices] Study: Infants Can Smell Mothers’ Fears onion.com/1nRWWUH #WhatDoYouThink?
PRO: Increased energy for complaining about how shitty life is now onion.com/1nRW6XZ pic.twitter.com/6GFUpuT4fZ
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Morgan Freeman narrates the majestic March Of The Juggalos avc.lu/1poGWrF
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Report: Majority Of Football Fans Better Informed On Health Of NFL Players Than Parents onion.com/1Avqzzj pic.twitter.com/n1yPXQoa0l
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This Week Last Year: Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks onion.com/1cBf7Xj pic.twitter.com/BeeDhHjkUz
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.@CIA: "There are countless women who are more than qualified to kowtow to every demand of the United States." onion.com/1rNaNNL
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Report: Majority Of CIA Now Ready To Install Female World Leader onion.com/1rN9Ox6 pic.twitter.com/J1vx8ulj4T
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Australian women are absolutely perfect, or at least these specific ones are. clickhole.com/r/619tsd pic.twitter.com/ls0inpqDUI
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CON: Could become the kind of person who asks questions about soups onion.com/1AuV2xr pic.twitter.com/68p9rl3pA5
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PRO: Subtle nods of approval from every passing animal onion.com/1AuTQdy pic.twitter.com/mG9TzLbyME
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.@amazon says their newest Kindle perfectly replicates the experience of reading a real book in public for attention onion.com/1AuPKSz
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New Kindle Helps Readers Show Off By Shouting Title Of Book Loudly And Repeatedly onion.com/1AuLx1p pic.twitter.com/YOq5DfsaX0
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George R.R. Martin won’t write for Game Of Thrones this year, apparently he’s working on some book avc.lu/1xuh52R
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"It’s clear we’re all the same on the inside, whether we’re regular folks or guitar gods." onion.com/1lad2TW pic.twitter.com/6C0X4U1Pvl
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Sources: Person who will contort your nude cadaver into a resting position is in existence some place in the world onion.com/1la9Tna
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Person Who Will Embalm You Walking Around Out There onion.com/1la7Lfb pic.twitter.com/qaXGDCDNQF
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You Asked For It And You Got It! @hulu Is Bringing Back Circuit City clickhole.com/r/593tsd pic.twitter.com/ve3Iyp0z5m
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[American Voices] @Wikipedia Bans Congress From Editing Pages onion.com/1rXZnoR #WhatDoYouThink?
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Your Horoscopes – Week Of July 29, 2014: onion.com/1nYbJvw pic.twitter.com/5OQDYldAot
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In Focus: Gay Gene Isolated, Ostracized onion.com/WKzrC3
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ExxonMobil, Chevron Locked In Bidding War To Obtain Lucrative Pennsylvania Senator onion.com/1qcc64i
Open-Minded Man Would Be Willing To Look Past Jennifer Lawrence's Flaws onion.com/1qcbWdg
You're a naughty little consumer and we know you just want to be targeted by advertisers, don’t you? onion.com/1qc6G9k #SPONSORED
George R.R. Martin denies South Park’s insinuation that he’s obsessed with wieners avc.lu/1mVVVVr
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