Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
The Onion
In Focus: "I'll be honest, I'm not 22 anymore. I got responsibilities."
Behold the terrific beast: part original content, part corporate bile, part reader shame. See the monster here! #SPON
Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky
In Focus: SI Investigation Reveals Oklahoma State An Awesome Place To Play Football
Retweeted by The Onion
Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper
Did some searching online and found this promo video for @BLAHAirlines. My struggle is real
Retweeted by The Onion
Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO
New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign
It’s Time To Have A National Conversation That Doesn’t Include Input From Celebrities, Because Yikes
Retweeted by The Onion
"I am horrified, and not in a good way."
ONN Exclusive: A One-On-One Interview With God
[American Voices] Funeral Home Offering Drive-Thru Open Casket Lane #WhatDoYouThink?
#Sponsored: Read The Onion's special coverage on breakfast, brought to you by Chobani:
Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman
9% of poll respondents said, "Yes. It’s awkward when my boss is paid less than me."
Leftover pizza doesn't have to define your mornings. Join the fight. #StopSadBreakfast with @Chobani
Retweeted by The Onion
In Focus: Oscar Pistorius | The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend
Buck up: You still have a lot of life ahead of you, even if the good part was over years ago. | Your Horoscopes:
From The Archives | Report: States Quietly Raising Speed Limits Near Failing Schools
"By our estimates, the crop is now consuming 100 acres of land per hour.”
[American Voices] Pope Francis: ‘God Is Not Afraid Of New Things’ #WhatDoYouThink?
Full report at
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the seventh week of the NFL season
Retweeted by The Onion
Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt
Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear
On #ToughSeason, Brad finally gets knocked back to Earth by rising Cameron The Intern #SPON
In Focus: Nazi SS Cemetery Desecrated By Pro-Semitic Graffiti
You haven’t witnessed sport until you’ve seen the Teddy Bear Cage Fighting event at the Schick Xtreme Comfort Games
Retweeted by The Onion
Disillusioned Hollywood Sign Moves Back To Small Iowa Farm Town
Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness
Officials say Indianapolis is now 60 percent corn
Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building
Post-epidemic tribes will refer to this site as “the darkness lands” | Track Ebola in the U.S.
Here is an up-to-date map that can help you track Ebola across the U.S.
Smoke Detector Saves Family From Buying New Batteries For Remote
Full report at
The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 20, 2014
[American Voices] “Once I die, I’m going to be so beautiful.”
From The Archives: Loser Friend Sort Of Doing Better
Jerry Jones Vows Cowboys Stadium Will Be Most Spectacular Ebola Quarantine Center Ever
Bitter Concession Speeches The Only Things Americans Looking Forward To In Upcoming Midterms
This Man Accidentally Took A Photo Of The Inside Of His Pocket Every Day For A Year
Retweeted by The Onion
Top Story | Report: More Americans Saving Money For Child’s Unemployment
University of Notre Dame: Connection to God now five times deeper