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The Onion
Obama Sleeping With Louisville Slugger Under Bed Now
TIP: Don’t forget about that $535 your parents have saved for your education
Here are a few completely ridiculous historical stories that aren’t actually true
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[American Voices] 400,000 Protesters Turn Out For People’s Climate March In NYC #WhatDoYouThink?
Mars Maven Begins Mission To Take Thousands Of High-Resolution Desktop Backgrounds
Full report at
Man Has Pretty Good Idea Which Friend Going To Give Up On Dream First
POLL: Will You Go On The Male Birth Control Pill When It Becomes Available?
7.1 Billion Demonstrate In Favor Of Global Warming
U.S. Still Enjoying Small But Loyal Following
Editorial Cartoon: 'All Things Embittered'
Ode to Marshall and Lily: The true central couple of How I Met Your Mother
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A side-by-side comparison of the iPhone 6 Plus and the Samsung Galaxy S5
Police Satisfied After Drunk Man Assures Them There’s No Problem
[American Voices] Poll: 90% Of Americans Say Domestic Abuse Revelations Haven’t Changed How Much Football They Watch
TIP: Cut costs in half by splitting your education with a buddy
The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 22, 2014
[American Voices] Report: Women Getting ‘Boot Bulge’ Liposuction To Fit Into Fall Boots #WhatDoYouThink?
In Focus: Something Wrong With Literally Everything In Apartment
On average, schools spend $300 annually on the vintage crackling sound for PA systems
Highly Touted Terrorist Prospect Weighing Multiple Recruitment Offers
Fantasy Team’s Performance Only Thing Man Holding Himself Accountable For
Report: Laura’s Divorce Threatens Razor-Thin Democratic Majority In Family
EMERGENCY ALERT: Americans in 14 cities advised to avoid downtown areas, nightclubs, football stadiums
11 AMAZING Photos Of Doug Bramowski As He Slowly Realizes His Wife Is Having An Affair
This Week's Top Video: Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At Worse Time For Company
Editorial Cartoon: 'Spreading The Good Nudes'
Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written Book In Over 2,000 Years
Daily Spin Class Only Thing Keeping Mom From Driving Car Full Of Kids Into Ocean
Woman Nervous Mom Starting To Use Her As Confidant
Elderly Rite Aid Patron Stretching Out Conversation About Toothpaste To Prolong Human Contact
New Health Insurance Law Lets Employers Refuse To Cover Contraceptives If They’re Morally Opposed To Women
This Week Last Year: Area Man’s Intelligence Probably Just Too Intimidating For Most Women
Onion Sports' fantasy guru @PerryBigwell says: "Tune out the NFL’s inevitable collapse!"
The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 15, 2014
"It was I who oversaw the transition to the Aloha POS system."
[American Voices] Survey: 10% Of Americans Have Gone To Work High #WhatDoYouThink?
Fantasy Football Week 3: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em | Expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop
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Report: More Children Being Raised With Religion Of Pushier Parent
Sound like something from a horror movie? That’s what we thought too, at first
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16,000 Stained During Messiest Day In U.S. History