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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,036,535 followers
Hillary Clinton Spends Busy Day Fueling Speculation, Not Ruling Things Out onion.com/1qLenIH pic.twitter.com/yNjAiVLpkC
Coca-Cola is considering reducing chunky Cola pulp by 50 percent onion.com/1qLdeAU pic.twitter.com/JhAhLKriOQ
Here are some options @CocaCola is considering to improve sales and win back customers onion.com/1qLcj3x
Man Locks Himself In Hot Car To Prove That Babies And Dogs Are Cowards clickhole.com/r/656tsd pic.twitter.com/6DBqOCUUdz
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"Seriously, what sane woman wouldn’t try to change me at least a little bit?" onion.com/1s3fH7S pic.twitter.com/0qQh5dkRlk
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[American Voices] “Lesbians must be ecstatic that they can finally start having sex correctly.” onion.com/1k7vMIq
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In Focus: @Verizon Introduces New Charge-You-At-Whim Plan onion.com/UBouB1
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All 30 Mario Kart 8 characters, reviewed avc.lu/1o3Btqi
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In Focus: Offended Customer's Huffy Walkout Goes Unnoticed onion.com/WMZSqD
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The Pros And Cons Of Going Vegetarian onion.com/WM93rl
We're Not So Different, You And Me And Joe Walsh | In Commentary: onion.com/WM8RIA
Without the jokes, sitcoms are 3-minute-long classes in Screenwriting 101 avc.lu/UA59jF
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TIP: Before making any final decisions, ask yourself if you really deserve a night out at all onion.com/WM7lGx pic.twitter.com/qOggJjy6Sf
[American Voices] Study: Infants Can Smell Mothers’ Fears onion.com/1nRWWUH #WhatDoYouThink?
PRO: Increased energy for complaining about how shitty life is now onion.com/1nRW6XZ pic.twitter.com/6GFUpuT4fZ
Morgan Freeman narrates the majestic March Of The Juggalos avc.lu/1poGWrF
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Report: Majority Of Football Fans Better Informed On Health Of NFL Players Than Parents onion.com/1Avqzzj pic.twitter.com/n1yPXQoa0l
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This Week Last Year: Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks onion.com/1cBf7Xj pic.twitter.com/BeeDhHjkUz
.@CIA: "There are countless women who are more than qualified to kowtow to every demand of the United States." onion.com/1rNaNNL
Report: Majority Of CIA Now Ready To Install Female World Leader onion.com/1rN9Ox6 pic.twitter.com/J1vx8ulj4T
Australian women are absolutely perfect, or at least these specific ones are. clickhole.com/r/619tsd pic.twitter.com/ls0inpqDUI
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CON: Could become the kind of person who asks questions about soups onion.com/1AuV2xr pic.twitter.com/68p9rl3pA5
PRO: Subtle nods of approval from every passing animal onion.com/1AuTQdy pic.twitter.com/mG9TzLbyME