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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,018,989 followers
Roommates Still Don't Know Each Other Well Enough To Not Speak
WATCH: Man Sees His Family For First Time After 27 Years Holding His Hand Over His Eyes
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This supercut of kids swearing is the darndest fucking thing
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Area Man Knows Exactly Which Relatives Would Be Problem If He Ever Came Into Money
[American Voices] Toyota ‘Driver Easy Speak’ Feature Helps Parents Yell At Children In Back Of Car #WhatDoYouThink?
Apparently I’ve been eating @benandjerrys Cores wrong. I’m supposed to use a spoon instead of sticking my head in the pint.
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From The Archives: Tony Dungy Casually Asks Michael Vick If Dogfighting Was Fun
Lifeguard Would Save Drowning Man, But Who Is He To Play God?
Without the banter, an entire episode of Family Feud takes a tight three minutes
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#5. "Could you name it after me? I’m trying to transfer a curse."
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Roommates Still Don’t Know Each Other Well Enough To Not Speak
Many anti-abortion activists have called for moats around abortion clinics as well
New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic
"Mince words with me, you understand? I need what you’re about to say to be easy to hear."
Occupation: First and foremost, a dad to two pretty amazing kids
"Tell me exactly what I want to hear, doc. No more, no less."
Why The Iraqi People Should Take A Year Off And Find Themselves
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Long May He Reign: A Look Back At The Royal Baby's First Year
Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 22, 2014
[American Voices] “Can’t I go anywhere anymore without being subtly encouraged to do something altruistic?”
Bigger and bitchier: A superlative rundown of the best records of 2014 so far
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In Focus: Man At Adjacent Urinal Pretends To Look Straight Ahead
POLL: Would You Let Your Son Play Football? | 12% of respondents said, "Wait, we can say no to our children?"
Study Finds High School Students Retain Only One-Third Of Obsolete Curriculum Over Summer