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The Onion
In Focus: "I'll be honest, I'm not 22 anymore. I got responsibilities." onion.com/1or6nfm pic.twitter.com/pQ8tij3lNU
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Behold the terrific beast: part original content, part corporate bile, part reader shame. See the monster here! onion.com/1or4vn0 #SPON
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Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky onion.com/1s3Y9o0 pic.twitter.com/x6ZpJtRXXi
In Focus: SI Investigation Reveals Oklahoma State An Awesome Place To Play Football onion.com/1s3Sdva
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Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper onion.com/1s3SJcJ pic.twitter.com/IwLfhp9XPc
Did some searching online and found this promo video for @BLAHAirlines. My struggle is real flyblahairlines.com
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Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO onion.com/1s3MOnX pic.twitter.com/EG3FXBYZPA
New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign onion.com/1s3FXuP pic.twitter.com/msHJ6Kj4C4
It’s Time To Have A National Conversation That Doesn’t Include Input From Celebrities, Because Yikes clickhole.com/r/1206tsd
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"I am horrified, and not in a good way." onion.com/1wsEu7E pic.twitter.com/ffDoTcya54
ONN Exclusive: A One-On-One Interview With God onion.com/1wsCVXc pic.twitter.com/xps3bLenH3
[American Voices] Funeral Home Offering Drive-Thru Open Casket Lane onion.com/1wsBdVR #WhatDoYouThink?
#Sponsored: Read The Onion's special coverage on breakfast, brought to you by Chobani: onion.com/1wsAtjF
Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman onion.com/1wszbFc pic.twitter.com/ZaVm7uOuzX
9% of poll respondents said, "Yes. It’s awkward when my boss is paid less than me." onion.com/1yfw3vF pic.twitter.com/wEl1BkJVy0
Leftover pizza doesn't have to define your mornings. Join the fight. #StopSadBreakfast with @Chobani onion.com/1yfrmSI
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In Focus: Oscar Pistorius | The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend onion.com/1yfpYiK pic.twitter.com/36AArQPvFU
Buck up: You still have a lot of life ahead of you, even if the good part was over years ago. | Your Horoscopes: onion.com/1yfmZqw
From The Archives | Report: States Quietly Raising Speed Limits Near Failing Schools onion.com/ZEx1W2
"By our estimates, the crop is now consuming 100 acres of land per hour.” onion.com/1yckCVy pic.twitter.com/OPqQ5aNi2a
[American Voices] Pope Francis: ‘God Is Not Afraid Of New Things’ onion.com/1tFL4sB #WhatDoYouThink?
Full report at onion.com/insta
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the seventh week of the NFL season onion.com/1tFIbYw pic.twitter.com/riCIrL5Wmj
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Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt onion.com/1uvgWdP pic.twitter.com/LGb0O6L6NQ
Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear onion.com/1uv7ZRE pic.twitter.com/8H1bzUpIUu
On #ToughSeason, Brad finally gets knocked back to Earth by rising Cameron The Intern onion.com/1uv2xyo #SPON pic.twitter.com/7oCqxFH7Mc
In Focus: Nazi SS Cemetery Desecrated By Pro-Semitic Graffiti onion.com/1uuZ7vn pic.twitter.com/YBvzWRDHBS
You haven’t witnessed sport until you’ve seen the Teddy Bear Cage Fighting event at the Schick Xtreme Comfort Games onion.com/1w6Hsi3
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Disillusioned Hollywood Sign Moves Back To Small Iowa Farm Town onion.com/1uuPPj2 pic.twitter.com/iJ8Up43vtb
Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness onion.com/11YkSx4 pic.twitter.com/Ex0HHZS9x1
Officials say Indianapolis is now 60 percent corn onion.com/11YfUQI pic.twitter.com/9L6C0BDhLW
Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest onion.com/ZD0Hmj pic.twitter.com/rwsFsZAlwQ
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building onion.com/1r1HXEy pic.twitter.com/auqjesnQb5
Post-epidemic tribes will refer to this site as “the darkness lands” | Track Ebola in the U.S. onion.com/1tF9vGp pic.twitter.com/dwLVnQMIyl
Here is an up-to-date map that can help you track Ebola across the U.S. onion.com/1tF5S3e pic.twitter.com/b2XjlqC0Tv
Smoke Detector Saves Family From Buying New Batteries For Remote onion.com/1tF4eyO pic.twitter.com/4y2Jr0B7El
Full report at onion.com/insta
The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 20, 2014 onion.com/1tF1jpI pic.twitter.com/w1U3F0ZaS5
[American Voices] “Once I die, I’m going to be so beautiful.” onion.com/1tEY15V pic.twitter.com/gQIFGrqxPI
From The Archives: Loser Friend Sort Of Doing Better onion.com/1wqI7uO
Jerry Jones Vows Cowboys Stadium Will Be Most Spectacular Ebola Quarantine Center Ever onion.com/1wWT850
Bitter Concession Speeches The Only Things Americans Looking Forward To In Upcoming Midterms onion.com/1wWSQv0
This Man Accidentally Took A Photo Of The Inside Of His Pocket Every Day For A Year clickhole.com/r/1199tsd pic.twitter.com/x8NcuNYFEm
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Top Story | Report: More Americans Saving Money For Child’s Unemployment onion.com/1wWSiVP
University of Notre Dame: Connection to God now five times deeper onion.com/1FlZmS7 pic.twitter.com/A15MtXIvuu