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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,122,382 followers
Doctors Optimistic Sam Bradford 2 Months Away From Beginning Work On Broadcasting Career onion.com/1nK6kVF pic.twitter.com/wzx7yVRAwH
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Man Kicking Self For Wasting Valuable Plate Space At Beginning Of Buffet Line onion.com/1n49HXw pic.twitter.com/2n0RKzmkJ5
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Having a hard time not getting work done? Give our fantasy football section a spin onion.com/1u5iNr2 #SPON pic.twitter.com/aiUSiQZuij
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What songs do you love save for their cringe-worthy lyrics? avc.lu/1pcwXlJ
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[American Voices] Researchers: Panda Faked Pregnancy To Get More Bamboo onion.com/1qNCoc5 #WhatDoYouThink?
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In Focus: Gumption Rewarded With Even More Work onion.com/1n2CZG1
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Secretary Of Interior Says Knocking Down Mountain Range Could Really Open Nation Up onion.com/1C7zxDP
Students for whom this will be first time out of direct eyesight of parents: 85% onion.com/YYRQM2 pic.twitter.com/uReCLra2iT
Kirk Cameron to make Christmas safe for Christians avc.lu/YYK2tQ
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[American Voices] ‘Hello Kitty’ Actually A British Schoolgirl onion.com/1ortBet #WhatDoYouThink?
Can A Man And A Woman Be ‘Just Passengers On The Same Bus’? clickhole.com/r/874tsd pic.twitter.com/TxKUC0TUek
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Subway: "We urge customers to enjoy footlong subs responsibly, with a partner or large group." onion.com/1qlb9IC pic.twitter.com/LxitYN2MFE
Secretary Of Interior Says Knocking Down Rocky Mountains Could Really Open Nation Up onion.com/1tfst5x pic.twitter.com/FcjEwhQgau
Vikings Intrigued By Matt Cassel's Ability To Get The Fuck Out Of Adrian Peterson's Way onion.com/1tfphXu pic.twitter.com/M4VIhvw37A
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Here’s a by-the-numbers look at the incoming class of 2018 onion.com/1lyFpkq pic.twitter.com/E1PAYnQO8u
STATSHOT: How Are We Raising Awareness For Our Charity? onion.com/1u10X8y pic.twitter.com/ZszvOACCq8
Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC onion.com/1paK07g pic.twitter.com/Zi1y2gYZVF
Wedding Bells For Bradgelinad! Angebrajolitt Is Officially Married! clickhole.com/r/872tsd pic.twitter.com/ISaCzY1bZg
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New Rec Room Has Everything A Teen Could Want, Reports Church Youth Pastor onion.com/1tfbZua pic.twitter.com/Np3iwSDr8A
To encourage healthier eating habits, @SUBWAY has clarified the marketing of its $5 footlongs onion.com/1vqBN7c pic.twitter.com/ibCpkYf6FG
Horrified @SUBWAY Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend onion.com/1qF796H pic.twitter.com/SeI1rWDjdg
You Would Think All This ’90s Nostalgia Would Mean More Album Sales For Ol’ Fastball clickhole.com/r/858tsd pic.twitter.com/VOV04qzvtQ
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