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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,043,735 followers
Maybelline Introduces New Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask To Use In Place Of Makeup
Psychology Comes To Halt As Weary Researchers Say The Mind Cannot Possibly Study Itself
"Individuals do not need to exercise very much to increase the number of years they live in dull, aching pain."
Amazon says their newest Kindle perfectly replicates the experience of reading a real book in public for attention
Red Robin takes the prize of single unhealthiest meal in America
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[American Voices] “I’m just excited that Star Wars might feature two puffins going at it in the background.”
Caught On Tape: Did Orlando Bloom Bully A Weak, Defenseless Child?
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CON: Have to perfect the forced smile that accompanies choking down tempeh
Report Finds Children Of Parents Often Become Parents Themselves
Full report at
I've been naked since the premiere of @DatingNaked. It's been interesting. Tune in tonight for a brand new episode!
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Experts Warn Situation In Gaza Will Get Worse Before It Gets Much Worse
.@Maybelline: "You’ll easily achieve a look that would have otherwise taken hours to create."
"All I need to do is yank this over my head, and that's it. I'm conventionally attractive."
Report: All Things Aside, American Flag Still Looks Pretty Good Majestically Billowing In Wind
Faith-based alternative to Fifty Shades Of Grey to put God deep inside you
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Motorcyles make turning enemies (like the boss' son) to friends pretty easy @HondaPowersprts
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STATSHOT: Why Are We Cutting Our Trip Short?
Psychology Comes To Halt As Weary Researchers Say The Mind Cannot Possibly Study Itself
Remember Tetris? One lucky fan got to experience it for real #TBT
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GlaxoSmithKline Releases New Drug To Treat People Who Just Feel Sort Of Weird Sometimes
"Getting off the couch once a day may give you one or two more years of clutching at your lower back and wincing."
New Study Finds Running For 20 Minutes Each Day Could Add Years Of Soreness To Life
Last century’s Batman films now look like blockbusters from another dimension
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