Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
The Onion
Female Friend Group Fails In One Duty Of Providing Good Gynecologist Recommendation
Dementia Study Reveals Fond Memories First To Go
The Onion’s Independence Day Fireworks Spectacular
Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts
Pool Owner Has Bathing Suit That Touched His Penis You Can Borrow
Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties In Closer Proximity To Ocean
Grown Man Who Owns Bane Action Figure Has Love To Give
Man Trying To Get Out Of Executioner Duty
The House From The Windows 95 Maze Screensaver Is Up For Sale
Retweeted by The Onion
Man On Vacation Suddenly Realizes No One Feeding His Hostages
Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients
New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion
Here are some tips for preventing painful fireworks-related injuries:
Man On Cusp Of Having Fun Suddenly Remembers Every Single One Of His Responsibilities
Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal
New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don't Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem
Here's how towns and cities nationwide are celebrating Independence Day:
Here are some tips for a fun and fulfilling road trip:
Nation’s Dogs Vow To Keep Their Shit Together During 4th Of July Fireworks
Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed
‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating
“Eyebrow-raising evolved during this period for much the same purpose.”
13-Year-Old Girl Can't Believe How Immature Everyone Is

Twitter Sign-in
We are going to send you to Twitter to authorize twiends.
Please note that we never tweet or follow people without your permission.