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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,018,989 followers
Roommates Still Don't Know Each Other Well Enough To Not Speak onion.com/1mBymB7 pic.twitter.com/ZUtE8wRC1y
WATCH: Man Sees His Family For First Time After 27 Years Holding His Hand Over His Eyes clickhole.com/r/594tsd pic.twitter.com/j6JovlzXZw
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This supercut of kids swearing is the darndest fucking thing avc.lu/1yY0Z4m
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Area Man Knows Exactly Which Relatives Would Be Problem If He Ever Came Into Money onion.com/1rHU1wZ pic.twitter.com/WZyO6uW3Wi
[American Voices] Toyota ‘Driver Easy Speak’ Feature Helps Parents Yell At Children In Back Of Car onion.com/UqrYWu #WhatDoYouThink?
Apparently I’ve been eating @benandjerrys Cores wrong. I’m supposed to use a spoon instead of sticking my head in the pint.
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From The Archives: Tony Dungy Casually Asks Michael Vick If Dogfighting Was Fun onion.com/WBCWux
Lifeguard Would Save Drowning Man, But Who Is He To Play God? onion.com/WBCf4j pic.twitter.com/lPjiNhGlI9
Without the banter, an entire episode of Family Feud takes a tight three minutes avc.lu/1ryxCVo
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#5. "Could you name it after me? I’m trying to transfer a curse." clickhole.com/r/586tsd pic.twitter.com/iXNiD2qqXk
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Roommates Still Don’t Know Each Other Well Enough To Not Speak onion.com/WBx2cI
Many anti-abortion activists have called for moats around abortion clinics as well onion.com/WBvHmi pic.twitter.com/7wjrTUbjvm
New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic onion.com/WBtCXq pic.twitter.com/CC9rQhw5eP
"Mince words with me, you understand? I need what you’re about to say to be easy to hear." onion.com/WBstz4
Occupation: First and foremost, a dad to two pretty amazing kids onion.com/WBqf2G pic.twitter.com/vW59p1UU1l
"Tell me exactly what I want to hear, doc. No more, no less." onion.com/1mAjfbo pic.twitter.com/Frp0BCUVwU
Why The Iraqi People Should Take A Year Off And Find Themselves clickhole.com/r/587tsd pic.twitter.com/d2EXLVVa7l
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Long May He Reign: A Look Back At The Royal Baby's First Year onion.com/1qym9W4 pic.twitter.com/cwfOwpPuxW
Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 22, 2014 onion.com/1roezvh pic.twitter.com/fc9iO8jjpf
[American Voices] “Can’t I go anywhere anymore without being subtly encouraged to do something altruistic?” onion.com/1ro8nn3
Bigger and bitchier: A superlative rundown of the best records of 2014 so far avc.lu/1ry5Lo8
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In Focus: Man At Adjacent Urinal Pretends To Look Straight Ahead onion.com/1sGYFOD
POLL: Would You Let Your Son Play Football? | 12% of respondents said, "Wait, we can say no to our children?" onion.com/1sGXU7W
Study Finds High School Students Retain Only One-Third Of Obsolete Curriculum Over Summer onion.com/1sGXLl7