Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want to get more twitter followers? Click here to watch our video.
 
The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,095,574 followers
"We found that there are very few, if any, encouraging statistics left." onion.com/1tr7nh9
  2h
Watch all of the easter eggs from Guardians Of The Galaxy avc.lu/1oZRbim
Retweeted by The Onion
  3h
[American Voices] NFL: Musicians Should Pay To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show onion.com/1pfnvTH #WhatDoYouThink?
  4h
BREAKING: Mrs. Nichols Also Daniel’s Mom onion.com/1sVh9v9 pic.twitter.com/zTJCSwWAm5
  5h
Full report at theonion.com
Study: Human Hearing Most Acute When Listening To Arguing Parents From Top Of Stairs onion.com/1naSETf
  5h
Coroner Performs Postmortem ‘Which Friends Character Are You?’ Quiz On Deceased Teen clickhole.com/r/762tsd pic.twitter.com/IZxmnf4Hxh
Retweeted by The Onion
  6h
World Wildlife Fund Donors Receive Refund After Western Black Rhino Goes Extinct onion.com/VFRUy0 pic.twitter.com/phFORnEaaz
  6h
Report: Average American Loses $5,000 Each Year From Splitting Check onion.com/1tm3VVN pic.twitter.com/cIXILere0R
  7h
Man Wearing Low-Cut Swimsuit As Though Public Pool A Sun-Kissed Sardinian Cove onion.com/1tm1a6W pic.twitter.com/ssCJJ7ISM0
  7h
Study Finds 79% Of Statistics Now Sobering onion.com/1tlV5Yl pic.twitter.com/nwYUl5HD0b
  8h
Care To Engage In A Rambling Debate With Me On My Nephew’s Politically Charged Facebook Post? clickhole.com/r/763tsd pic.twitter.com/Z5Hzk7hzxz
Retweeted by The Onion
  8h
PRO: Local photojournalists now able to capture fog of war at home onion.com/1At12G5 pic.twitter.com/oTPKBU1sFX
  9h
Back at your ass for the nine-4: 36 least essential entertainments from 1994 avc.lu/1oQZMK4
Retweeted by The Onion
  9h
[American Voices] More Women Getting Hand Surgery To Look Good In ‘Ring Selfies’ onion.com/VE4DRZ #WhatDoYouThink?
In Focus: Description Of Sexual Fantasy Changing With Girlfriend's Reaction onion.com/VE3JVw
Chinese Journalists Bemoan Decline Of Traditional State-Run Newspapers, Rise Of State-Run New Media onion.com/1AvXfaQ
Did you know many parents now include a piece of umbilical cord with birth announcements? onion.com/1AvWXkt pic.twitter.com/Uk1xaCnWeZ
“I can say with confidence that we are only months away from developing the perfect hashtag.” clickhole.com/r/795tsd pic.twitter.com/MdKHVt81gs
Retweeted by The Onion
"Heck, most folks still don’t even know what Twitter is. Let CompuJean fill you in." onion.com/1AvWFKn pic.twitter.com/hldxdcwFfd
Watch Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus goof off together avc.lu/1AvRASd
Retweeted by The Onion
[American Voices] Vegan Oktoberfest Coming To California onion.com/1pbbVsu #WhatDoYouThink?