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The Onion

satire comedy news humour 4,934,277 followers
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The Onion @TheOnion
The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To Me | Commentary By George Lucas onion.com/10Pqmlh
  4h
The Onion @TheOnion
9 Jennifer Lawrence Photos That'll Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties onion.com/10Pru8s
  5h
The Onion @TheOnion
Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard onion.com/13OlfqG
  6h
The Onion @TheOnion
Obama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones onion.com/Z40jKy
  6h
The Onion @TheOnion
Gummi Bear Emerges From Digestive Tract Unharmed onion.com/10PrjKh
  7h
The Onion @TheOnion
In Sports: Dwight Howard Interested In Ruining Rockets onion.com/10PrdCn
  7h
The Onion @TheOnion
The Least Effective Cat Calls onion.com/10PraXk
  8h
The Onion @TheOnion
"I’ve been looking for a second thing to get mocked for, and Boy Scouts seems like a great fit." – Gay kid onion.com/13Oi02p
  9h
The Onion @TheOnion
BREAKING: Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing onion.com/13OhKRg
  9h
The Onion @TheOnion
Facebook Post Of Webisode Receives Staggering 15 Likes onion.com/14CTG31
  9h
The Onion @TheOnion
If we get 10 million clicks on this piece of sponsored content, we will finally reveal the secret to immortality onion.com/12za1nk
  10h
The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] “Ha. At that rate it’ll take forever to kill all of us.” onion.com/ZgO6EA
  11h
The Onion @TheOnion
"Han Solo wasn’t actually named 'Han Solo,' for example. His real name was Doug Solo." – George Lucas onion.com/ZgLl6k
  11h
The Onion @TheOnion
The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To Me | Commentary By George Lucas onion.com/121XGwQ
  12h
The Onion @TheOnion
Restaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular Menu onion.com/130fTX1
  12h
The AV Club @TheAVClub
“I’ve made a huge mistake!”: 13 Arrested Development quotes to summarize reactions to the new episodes avc.lu/ZenBQ7
Retweeted by The Onion
  12h
The Onion @TheOnion
.@OnionSports examines notable moments from David Beckham’s illustrious 21-year career onion.com/13MHF8o
  12h
The Onion @TheOnion
9 Jennifer Lawrence Photos That'll Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties onion.com/1303fHy
  13h
Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
Marketing challenge: Make people want to see a movie with Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg and Tara Reid onion.com/11945EF #ComedyWeek
Retweeted by The Onion
  13h
The Onion @TheOnion
“The key to beating anxiety is to let yourself become totally consumed with intrusive, irrational thoughts." onion.com/10nytKk
  14h
The Onion @TheOnion
Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard onion.com/10nx7iH
  14h
The Onion @TheOnion
Gummi Bear Emerges From Digestive Tract Unharmed onion.com/14D1S3k
  14h
The Onion @TheOnion
Creators of video with 100 views "looking for Louis C.K.-type deal" | Watch the video now: onion.com/14CVZDp
  15h
The Onion @TheOnion
YouTube Video Series Gets Over 100 Views, Goes 'Totally Viral' onion.com/14CTG31
  15h
The Onion @TheOnion
"I really wish they’d bring back the old macrolide blend with the dirithromycin. That’s the taste I grew up with." onion.com/14CPnF9
  15h
The Onion @TheOnion
Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics onion.com/121x6UI
  15h
Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
Dwight Howard Interested In Ruining Rockets onion.com/10VNuzv
Retweeted by The Onion
  16h
The Onion @TheOnion
The Least Effective Cat Calls: onion.com/10VLaIQ
  16h
The Onion @TheOnion
Those Inspired To Pursue Medicine Because Of ‘Grey's Anatomy’ Now Entering Workforce | More Healthcare News: onion.com/11mOAbR
  16h
The Onion @TheOnion
"They’ve taken things to a new level with these chainsaws. LeBron has lost a leg, his arms, and most of his face." onion.com/10TvCZa
  17h
The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] “I usually try not to eat anything that’s more than five years old.” onion.com/10Tv1qx
  17h
The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Check Clears In Spite Of Overwhelming Odds onion.com/13JIwtT
  18h
The Onion @TheOnion
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness onion.com/Zepbl2
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Obama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy onion.com/13IZvZU #NSFW
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
REWIND! 10 Sharp Knives That Scarred You For Life onion.com/13IUHno
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Woman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This August onion.com/14yafNK
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
In Sports: Calvin Johnson Says He Played 2012 Season With Broken Heart onion.com/11Ypq5o
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Local Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp onion.com/11YjeKI
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Miami Heat Unprepared For Chainsaw-Wielding Pacers onion.com/12X9tIn
  23 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Dr. Good's resident plastic surgeon turns some unemployed ugly ducklings into employable mega-sexy swans youtu.be/IWpnzprnmeI
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Onion Radio News: Bananas Sweep Primates' Choice Awards Again onion.com/12X6sb0
  22 May
The Onion Store @OnionStore
You like sports and you like The Onion. Show where your loyalties lie with this sweet Onion Sports Network T-shirt bit.ly/11bHCky
Retweeted by The Onion
  22 May
Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
Frank Vogel Seen Googling 'NBA Pacers Good?' | More NBA News: onion.com/YbcKko
Retweeted by The Onion
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] "My right to salacious entertainment should trump any concerns about national security." onion.com/ZeiGyP
  22 May
The AV Club @TheAVClub
Ke$ha drank her own pee on TV, and The Parents Television Council is not cool with it avc.lu/11Z23IU
Retweeted by The Onion
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
The Onion's ongoing coverage of Kate Middleton's pregnancy: onion.com/12WPr0C
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness onion.com/ZedMlq
  22 May
Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
Brian Urlacher Retires With Plenty Of Injuries Left In The Tank onion.com/13JaEd8
Retweeted by The Onion
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
#XboxOneFeatures: Gumball dispenser onion.com/13J6BOb
  22 May
The Onion @TheOnion
#XboxOneFeatures: Kinect motion sensor capable of responding to what you consider movement onion.com/13J6BOb
  22 May

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