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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 5,841,223 followers
New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App onion.com/P9zaE1
  1h
Moviegoer Manages To Sneak Candy Past Teenage Usher Earning $7 An Hour onion.com/P9z7rz
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The Onion's Tips For A Good Night’s Sleep onion.com/P9yGO7
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Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of NYC Manhole Cover In For One Wacky Adventure onion.com/1eF1TMU
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Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Suggest Early Man Was Battling A Lot Of Inner Demons onion.com/P9yC0L
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Pharrell’s “Happy” video without any music is sad and creepy avc.lu/1eEGN1p pic.twitter.com/yDlZsr5zDA
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  5h
[American Voices] ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ Sequel In The Works onion.com/1eEWTbg #WhatDoYouThink?
  6h
POLL: What Do You Think Of The MLB’s New Instant Replay System? onion.com/1nsR1lk pic.twitter.com/MJV7bSJ1sk
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  7h
Pro-Life Demonstrator Clearly Using Image Of Subway Chicken Enchilada Melt On Anti-Abortion Poster onion.com/1nsT2xV
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The All-American Music Map tracks each region's genre tastes, fuels your elitism avc.lu/1r2Thjt
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  7h
Gas Station Clerk Glad To See Pump 2 Doing So Well Today onion.com/1nsQjV6
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Joe Dumars Resigns To Spend More Time Rebuilding Family onion.com/1l8Zs8s
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  8h
#Sponsored: Read The Onion's special coverage on "Discovery," brought to you by Cottonelle: onion.com/1nsOvLX
  8h
"If a 2-year-old finds a way to lodge any part of this in his trachea, resulting in death, I’d be impressed." onion.com/1l9672q
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Fisher-Price Designer Would Like To See 2-Year-Old Try And Choke On Newest Version onion.com/1l95R3m
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Scouts Confident Johnny Manziel Has Enough Character Issues To Succeed In NFL | More Sports News: onion.com/19ILFMf
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  9h
New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App onion.com/1l8W8ds
  9h
Our new video series is coming to San Francisco with Shakey Graves next week, c’mon down avc.lu/1j7P49T pic.twitter.com/sWf3hQSRnO
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Moviegoer Manages To Sneak Candy Past Teenage Usher Earning $7 An Hour onion.com/1nsEkqI
Do you love smelling cat poop? Then you’ll hate this @littergeniecat coupon. bit.ly/P0anDc
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Archaeologists say these cave paintings indicate that early humans had “some pretty heavy stuff” on their minds onion.com/1l8sdlz
Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Suggest Early Man Was Battling A Lot Of Inner Demons onion.com/1l8kOCJ
Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure onion.com/QryDy6 pic.twitter.com/azgzGoCR87
STATSHOT: How Are We Spending Our Tax Refund? onion.com/1gDEO8U