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The Onion
Did you know China has 3.5 million square miles of hard-to-find places? onion.com/1mHCAOo pic.twitter.com/4tRgdFWQUg
Study Finds Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions Of Dollars In Conservation Funding By 2025 onion.com/1BxkK21
[American Voices] “If Clooney can find someone, then there’s hope for all of us.” onion.com/1CBypaS
The Onion’s #FantasyFootball coverage offers guidance for your meaningless hobby. Read more onion.com/1DSAnoH pic.twitter.com/Hl9ah0TIVr
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I Never Understood My Father Until I Traveled Through Time And Became Him clickhole.com/r/1070tsd pic.twitter.com/nKsVPnvGeD
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George Clooney's wedding featured a make-your-own-nachos bar onion.com/ZlfenD pic.twitter.com/gTSjbMcL56
Did you know China bankrolls the entire goddamn free world? onion.com/1mHCAOo pic.twitter.com/4NzpJGS5LE
Liberal Arts Graduate Realizes He’s Already Forgotten 90% Of Human Condition onion.com/1mHqTY2 pic.twitter.com/2ZZiDdeZ4r
Diabetic, Gout-Ridden Kim Jong-Un By Far Healthiest Person In North Korea onion.com/10eQYDQ pic.twitter.com/hMGHxrcrnP
10 Years Ago Today | Area Man Somehow Even Less Popular Than He Was In High School onion.com/1mHc5Zl
New Pepsi Product Specifically Mentions Target Demographic In Name onion.com/1vr9N11 pic.twitter.com/8clsN419kh
Study Finds Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions Of Dollars In Conservation Funding By 2024 onion.com/1CAUJ4a pic.twitter.com/CbA0ltHWn6
The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 29, 2014 onion.com/1mGLLhW pic.twitter.com/qGgSGHjWOd
[American Voices] Video Game ‘Swatting’ Hoax Costing Police Hundreds Of Thousands Of Dollars onion.com/1DRyNTX
Song Deemed Good Enough To Put Girlfriend On Shoulders onion.com/1qOfoJt pic.twitter.com/yh1yhJkXHb
In Focus | Sources: George Clooney Looking Good onion.com/1mGuwgK pic.twitter.com/zo3ehUxhac
In Focus: Man With Dream To Open Liquor Store Achieves Dream onion.com/1vps51S
Top Story: @NASA Administrator Resigns After Leak Of Offensive Anti-Moon Email onion.com/1vojfBt
Senator To Try Submitting Rejected Bill To Canadian Parliament onion.com/1qJK8eA
Mars MAVEN Begins Mission To Take Thousands Of High-Resolution Desktop Backgrounds onion.com/1pzzsz4
"Michelle sleeps a lot more easily now that I’ve got this piece of lumber." – @BarackObama onion.com/YvGFtZ pic.twitter.com/oo7yI6QaGU
Man Has Pretty Good Idea Which Friend Going To Give Up On Dream First onion.com/1uTFGOe
Incredible! This Man Can Name All The Beatles clickhole.com/r/1055tsd
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When asked if they’d use a male birth control pill, 9% of poll respondents said, "Sure thing, babe.” bit.ly/1pkVkif
This Week Last Year: 7 Places You HAVE To Go After You Die onion.com/1vpv3UY
In Lifestyle: Parents Considering Second Child So Daughter Can Have Someone To Grow Apart From onion.com/1mDnVDO pic.twitter.com/HMd5TgOS0w
In Sports | Sources: NFL Knew What Evil Lurking Within Heart Of Man onion.com/1CxAYdZ
In Local News: What Mom Would Have Wanted Evolving Over Course Of Funeral Planning onion.com/1u525u1 pic.twitter.com/oFAIDImY12
Editorial Cartoon: 'All Things Embittered' onion.com/1ruWFaX pic.twitter.com/BJotpoksMP
This Internet Theory Suggests All Pixar Fans Live In The Same Universe clickhole.com/r/1015tsd pic.twitter.com/JhfKbpNn2C
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Woman Worried Student Loans Could Prevent Her From One Day Owning Entirely Different Kind Of Crippling Debt onion.com/YpHBQo
In Commentary | It’s Just My Luck To Lose Thousands At The Blackjack Tables Every Night For The Past Few Weeks onion.com/1vnSnkY
In Finance | Report: You’re Actually Saving Money With Roller Rink Membership onion.com/1CvlBCN
Top Story: Too Late Now To Switch From Checkout Line With Talkative Cashier onion.com/YqnKQS
This Week's Top Story: Police Satisfied After Drunk Man Assures Them There’s No Problem onion.com/1vosxyc pic.twitter.com/tVmbFruaT2
In Local News: Man Given 3 Months To Live Throws In One Or Two Non-Sexual Things To Do onion.com/1Cvl9nT
TIP: Try to talk your college down from its original asking price onion.com/YpDPXm pic.twitter.com/aNjlWYuoQ9
This Week Last Year: You are a deranged human being for feeling this way. onion.com/1vnSoFB pic.twitter.com/HIFgVmcZ1a
In Politics: U.S. Still Enjoying Small But Loyal Following onion.com/1BlhwPd pic.twitter.com/DHB3u7aLjh
The Pros And Cons Of Never Getting Married onion.com/1rky2Pa
[American Voices] New ‘Anti-Facebook’ Social Network Ello Boasts Lack Of Ads onion.com/1xq25rd #WhatDoYouThink?
There’s some controversy surrounding The Daily Show’s Redskins segment avc.lu/1rkqvQt pic.twitter.com/nMPRI6W7rT
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