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The Onion
satire comedy news humour 6,036,535 followers
Hillary Clinton Spends Busy Day Fueling Speculation, Not Ruling Things Out
Coca-Cola is considering reducing chunky Cola pulp by 50 percent
Here are some options @CocaCola is considering to improve sales and win back customers
Man Locks Himself In Hot Car To Prove That Babies And Dogs Are Cowards
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"Seriously, what sane woman wouldn’t try to change me at least a little bit?"
[American Voices] “Lesbians must be ecstatic that they can finally start having sex correctly.”
In Focus: @Verizon Introduces New Charge-You-At-Whim Plan
All 30 Mario Kart 8 characters, reviewed
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In Focus: Offended Customer's Huffy Walkout Goes Unnoticed
The Pros And Cons Of Going Vegetarian
We're Not So Different, You And Me And Joe Walsh | In Commentary:
Without the jokes, sitcoms are 3-minute-long classes in Screenwriting 101
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TIP: Before making any final decisions, ask yourself if you really deserve a night out at all
[American Voices] Study: Infants Can Smell Mothers’ Fears #WhatDoYouThink?
PRO: Increased energy for complaining about how shitty life is now
Morgan Freeman narrates the majestic March Of The Juggalos
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Report: Majority Of Football Fans Better Informed On Health Of NFL Players Than Parents
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This Week Last Year: Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks
.@CIA: "There are countless women who are more than qualified to kowtow to every demand of the United States."
Report: Majority Of CIA Now Ready To Install Female World Leader
Australian women are absolutely perfect, or at least these specific ones are.
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CON: Could become the kind of person who asks questions about soups
PRO: Subtle nods of approval from every passing animal