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The Onion

Kidnapping Going Pretty Smoothly
Knocked-Out Secret Service Agents Wake To Realize Jimmy Carter Loose
Nike Introduces New Intercourse Shoe
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“Within just a couple decades of his passing, Aaron Jacobson and all his achievements in life will be completely forgotten and never spoken of again, while the refuse he produced, on the other hand, will exert a profound influence that will endure for millennia,” said head researcher Kevin Wright, w
Eminem now literally selling broken home
Retweeted by The Onion
Courageous E-mail To Boss In Drafts Folder Since December
Angelina Jolie Becomes College Professor #WhatDoYouThink?
She's Probably Sleeping With Him Right Now, Local Man Obsesses
Channel all of your resentment toward corporate America into repeatedly clicking this link
Progress: The USDA Is Adding Rosa Parks To The Food Pyramid
Retweeted by The Onion
Man’s Garbage To Have Much More Significant Effect On Planet Than He Will
Ice Machine Reaches Deep Within Itself To Give Man One More Cube
Ice Machine Reaches Deep Within Itself To Give Man One More Cube #TheOnion
Books Vs. E-Readers: A side-by-side comparison
Friends, Family Admit They Expected Man’s Mental Breakdown To Look Completely Different
Squid, Octopus Populations On The Rise #WhatDoYouThink?
"It's all about striking a balance, really."
New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In
Man Completes Life $130,000 Over Budget
Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy
Report: Majority Of Newspapers Now Purchased By Kidnappers To Prove Date
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