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The Onion
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Week In Review | Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word 'Gluten'
Add a cool filter to your photos of @newbelgium's #snapshotwheat or bear the brunt of your friends' laughter.
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In Local News: Gas Station Clerk Glad To See Pump 2 Doing So Well Today
In Business: Fisher-Price Designer Would Like To See 2-Year-Old Try And Choke On Newest Version
In Music News: Good Charlotte Recording 10 New Songs To Be Played At Low Volume In P.F. Chang’s
SPONSORED: Barbed Wire Industry Protests Negative Portrayal In ‘Evil Within’ Video Game
TOP VIDEO: George W. Bush Shows Off His Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere
In Local News: Moviegoer Manages To Sneak Candy Past Teenage Usher Earning $7 An Hour
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Weekend Magazine: Our Tips For Getting Nauseated And Staying Nauseated
In Tech News: New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App
Editorial Cartoon: 'Not-So-Good Friday'
Tips For Planning The Perfect Easter Egg Hunt
The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014
In Local News: Man With No Plans Just Too Exhausted To Go Out
Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of NYC Manhole Cover In For One Wacky Adventure
Everyone In Bustling Chinese Parade Attempting To Elude Pursuers
Top Video: Tips For A Good Night’s Sleep
In Local News: Area Man Cleans Apartment Once Every Relationship
This Week's Top Story: FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
In Science: Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Suggest Early Man Was Battling A Lot Of Inner Demons
Parents Surprised Cruel Teen Daughter Hasn't Pushed Classmate To Breaking Point Yet
Man Attempting To Determine Whether Restaurant Closed Without Getting Too Close
Alabama Quietly Strikes Bo Bice Day From State Calendar
Week In Review | Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word 'Gluten'