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Josh Carter
I've never heard anyone describe themself as fiscally liberal
Just drove by "Negro Mountain" would've taken a picture, but didn't wanna slow down in this area of the country #fb
This is the best Celebrity Jeopardy yet! #SNL40
If you buy the chocolates on ebt does that make your girl the government's Valentine? #ValentinesDay
These @JimmyDean biscuits are offensively small. Looks normal on box. $11 for 20 bites of a sausage biscuit? #robbed
If that sports illustrated model is "plus sized" does that makes Mama June "times sized"?
See kids? You can cheat and still have it all! #patriots #superbowl #sb49 #fb
The true American heroes are the people delivering food in nyc over the next few days
The NEW zebra cake is hotter than ever!
Why would I donate my car to a kid who spells car with a k?
Too many people at a comedy show is always a good problem to have #zebracakefriday
Looks like I made a new fan today! Thanks for the support @MrsPatsos
The #Jets of NY aren't the only ones who need to clean house #AirAsia #fb
If you fail out of math in Southeast asia, do they make you become a pilot? #AirAsia
At this point is it ok to say that Malaysians don't make the best pilots? Either that or theyve discovered time travel via aircraft #AirAsia
So packed at #zebracakefriday that I can't walk all the way in to take this picture #happyholidays
I wash my car maybe 4 times a year, birds like to wait until the day right after to shit all over it #CanBeMetaphor
Why is it that you can eat a whole large #pizzahut pizza on the night its delivered but can only eat a few slices when leftover? #fb
Retweeted by Josh Carter
#NorthernDiscomfort s favorite drop in Jim Gaffigan is ALSO IN THE BUILDING
Kevin Nealon dropped into #NorthernDiscomfort tonight! Should've been here!
My condolences go out to anyone forced to live on Staten Island.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I liked it better when it was embarrassing to be white based on the way we danced.
Retweeted by Josh Carter NO FEE 5br loft duplex on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint border! $6,900, 1 Mo. FREE! #RT
Retweeted by Josh Carter
If you paid $10 for a Coors Light in freezing cold MetLife stadium tonight, you might like shitty light beers a little too much
Really not a fan of tweets that end in the phrase "Said no one ever"
My parents would've thanked him for saving them $12.99 "Parents outraged after principal shaves son's head…"
The term #BlackFriday was actually first used to distinguish the Ice Cube movies from the Jason movies