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Josh Carter
For those of you just getting into the #nfl, don't become a jets fan unless you need more things in your life to be sad about #fb
Whoever said "it never hurts to ask" obviously never asked his girlfriend what she thinks about threesomes when she's PMSing
Awesome night at #NorthernDiscomfort. Packed on a Tuesday and a surprise drop in by @JimGaffigan.… instagram.com/p/tTyB6bGeme/
I never understood adults who are terrified of clowns (just a person wearing excessive makeup) but still watch "Basketball Wives"
Now the jets wouldve won yesterday if the refs were to get beaten with switches everytime they make a bad call
I hope the ESPN reporter who got fired for calling RG3 a "cornball brotha" gets his job back
So anyone can yell timeout & lose a team the game. What's all this woman & child beating worth if the refs can't even call a game? #nyjets
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take
New GHOL Ray Rice, Incognito, Bottlegate & other uplifting NFL stories! w/ @BenKissel @Whats_Next_Ed & @GoshCarter directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/…
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I wish I knew about these growing up with a single mother instagram.com/p/spgxnsmemW/
How many ISIS jokes do I have to make to get on Obama's "Comics To Watch" list? #fb
ISIS sounds like your college's new class registration system that frequently crashes and drops you from your classes #fb
This Labor Day I learned that my taste in daytime television is similar to people in the market for a catheter
Another packed out zebra cake! W/ adammamawala @mamawalacomedy @joshhomer instagram.com/p/sTc0SBGenp/
My friend from Brooklyn, NYC @GoshCarter is headlining The Underground Comedy Club tonight. 9pm. @GracingTheStage @puffmama420
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Headlining tonight in Toronto, would love for yall to come out. At the @puffmama420 festival tonight at 9pm! Hit me up for free tickets!
This is why you don't see many chicks hitching rides instagram.com/p/sASm3HGeqV/
BAD IDEA FOR CLASS PROJECT! "Up to 4,000 marijuana plants found in Laguna Wilderness Park near private high school" ocregister.com/articles/plant…
THe hot water in my shower runs out so quick that I start flushing the toilet like it's the snooze button
The Expendables is like the Super Smash Bros of action stars in a mid life crisis
Gwen Stefani + Ke$ha = Iggy Azalea
Pretty sure this guy is at the wrong stadium #jetsvscolts instagram.com/p/rakfOUGei-/
The difference btwn mine and my 2 female roommates toilet paper usage rate is similar to the difference btwn mine & Snoops weed smoking rate
Has anyone ever caught a cop giving them a parking ticket before it was too late?
Attention, young backpack travelers, if you have no money. Do not come to nyc, unless you plan on staying a long long time
When you see pretty white homeless people, you know times are getting tough
I'm the Wolverine of street parking. I just wake up the next day not remembering my past
Are there non obese people who order pasta from pizza hut?