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Josh Carter
BAD IDEA FOR CLASS PROJECT! "Up to 4,000 marijuana plants found in Laguna Wilderness Park near private high school"…
THe hot water in my shower runs out so quick that I start flushing the toilet like it's the snooze button
The Expendables is like the Super Smash Bros of action stars in a mid life crisis
Gwen Stefani + Ke$ha = Iggy Azalea
Pretty sure this guy is at the wrong stadium #jetsvscolts
The difference btwn mine and my 2 female roommates toilet paper usage rate is similar to the difference btwn mine & Snoops weed smoking rate
Has anyone ever caught a cop giving them a parking ticket before it was too late?
Attention, young backpack travelers, if you have no money. Do not come to nyc, unless you plan on staying a long long time
When you see pretty white homeless people, you know times are getting tough
I'm the Wolverine of street parking. I just wake up the next day not remembering my past
Are there non obese people who order pasta from pizza hut?
Real estate agent is the only job where a cockroach has the power to make you not get your party check
If you ever date a woman like this; WHATEVER YOU DO, don't jack off! #psa…
It's not pretzel bread, it's just bread that's a similar color
Whatever happened to my permanent record?
To root for Germany in the World Cup is just Un-American! #ARGvsGER #WorldCupFinal #fb
Who the fuck is tipping in the parking violations office
Dunkin donuts now has cronuts! What????
Always awesome when @JimGaffigan drops into #NorthernDiscomfort. Crowd is packed and red hot!
NY! 2MRW! POPPA RUS = SCHTICK PLISSKIN! @ NORTHERN DISCOMFORT! @TheStandNYC @ 8! w @JudahWorldChamp @GoshCarter & mr!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Cheap Laughs: The Best Indie Comedy in NYC This Week, 6/25 - 7/1… via @soundofthecity
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Today I ran into my old friend, Bunny Jenkins @ AQUI ME QUEDO
Do replies not show up on the timeline? Or did mine to some of my new Ohio friends just not go through? #TechnologicallyBeyondMyYears