Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Grow your twitter followers. Sign in free!
Josh Carter
Share this on Twitter “Just stumbled across this cool page for Josh Carter”
Want to Grow Your Twitter Following, Free?
Dear @McDonalds, who would order only 3 mozzarella sticks?
My birthday wish to the Football Gods is 2 tds from @BEYOND_GREATNES and a giants victory. This would save me big time in 2 fantasy leagues
This Halloween I'm going as "Someone who doesn't read the fine print on eBay" Just got my Xbox One costume in the mail today #fb
SUCH a fun show! Thanks for having me @TheStandNYC @GoshCarter @raydevito - exciting to be surprised by some of my Maine peeps in the crowd!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Got a very Special guest likely dropping in at #northerndiscomfort at 8pm at @TheStandNYC, you won't want to miss it #fb
Another packed out zebracake show tonight at Beauty Bar
Our sketch, "Not Trying to Fuck This Pumpkin," is live. You'll never think of pumpkins the same way again.…
Retweeted by Josh Carter
In 9 years of college and NFL, Harvin has helped win three championships and now is with his fourth team.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I call bullshit, there's no way rite aid is taking that kinda paycut on razorblades @ rite aid, 81 1st…
They should show the episode of 7th Heaven where the dad gets shot to make people feel better
For those of you just getting into the #nfl, don't become a jets fan unless you need more things in your life to be sad about #fb
Whoever said "it never hurts to ask" obviously never asked his girlfriend what she thinks about threesomes when she's PMSing
Awesome night at #NorthernDiscomfort. Packed on a Tuesday and a surprise drop in by @JimGaffigan.…
I never understood adults who are terrified of clowns (just a person wearing excessive makeup) but still watch "Basketball Wives"
Now the jets wouldve won yesterday if the refs were to get beaten with switches everytime they make a bad call
I hope the ESPN reporter who got fired for calling RG3 a "cornball brotha" gets his job back
So anyone can yell timeout & lose a team the game. What's all this woman & child beating worth if the refs can't even call a game? #nyjets
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take
New GHOL Ray Rice, Incognito, Bottlegate & other uplifting NFL stories! w/ @BenKissel @Whats_Next_Ed & @GoshCarter…
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I wish I knew about these growing up with a single mother
How many ISIS jokes do I have to make to get on Obama's "Comics To Watch" list? #fb
ISIS sounds like your college's new class registration system that frequently crashes and drops you from your classes #fb
This Labor Day I learned that my taste in daytime television is similar to people in the market for a catheter
Another packed out zebra cake! W/ adammamawala @mamawalacomedy @joshhomer
My friend from Brooklyn, NYC @GoshCarter is headlining The Underground Comedy Club tonight. 9pm. @GracingTheStage @puffmama420
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Headlining tonight in Toronto, would love for yall to come out. At the @puffmama420 festival tonight at 9pm! Hit me up for free tickets!
This is why you don't see many chicks hitching rides
BAD IDEA FOR CLASS PROJECT! "Up to 4,000 marijuana plants found in Laguna Wilderness Park near private high school"…
THe hot water in my shower runs out so quick that I start flushing the toilet like it's the snooze button