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Josh Carter
I'm on frantic tonight at @TheStandNYC. Free tickets if you show up before Showtime! (10pm) #fb
I've seen better fights in IHOP parking lots #MayPac #MayweatherPacquiao #FightNight
We live in a society where if you order a $20 medium rare burger and it comes back well done, YOU'RE the dick for saying something
How about that dude at the gym who doesn't let you get on the machine he's been reading next to for the last 20 min
The only category McDonald's is still #1 at is pies
A tow truck driver can be your best friend in a time of greatest need, or your worst enemy and obliterate your perfect day
Just saw a female traffic cop who looked exactly like Michael Jackson
One more thing for the women of NYC to be paranoid of #MenWithStorage
Excuse me, @CoryBooker. I hate to bother you but can you do me a favor and run for president?
Fired 76 rounds. killed 12, wounded 58. armed with 3 weapons. apprehended ALIVE. #WalterScott
Retweeted by Josh Carter
New England and Duke? What a terrible year for sports #NCAAChampionship
marknormand dropped in to another packed out #zebracakefriday. Hot show!
Calling a woman "brave" for getting a super short haircut is the nice way of telling her she can't pull it off
Why do urban pornos and urban stand up comedy specials have the same intro music? #fb
Did y'all know that when Ludacris is in nyc, he comes all the way out to myrtle ave to get his haircut?
@GoshCarter closing it out in front of another packed house at Zebra Cake at Beauty Bar!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I bet most people in Brooklyn only eat free range chickens because they're jealous of their former living space situation #fb
Do you prefer Jesus or the devil on your candle? #BushwickFoodBazaar
Officially got my first piece of fan art tonight at #zebracakefriday Awesome!
Late show Tonight at 11! At Time Scare on 42nd & 8th, come for some late night laughs at the only club w Halloween decorations in March! #fb
Doing a show upstate with 2 people in the crowd and one of them is a heckler. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Hi! I'm also on the 8pm show at @TheStandNYC tonight! Hooray!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Top 5 Best Value Free Agents For The @nyjets