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Josh Carter

Join me 8pm at @TheStandNYC w/ Janeane Garofalo, @peteleetweets , @marknorm , @GoshCarter , & @dlemoncomedy $5 tix w/ code "northern"
Retweeted by Josh Carter
@GoshCarter says you can tell if a neighborhood's safe by the quality of their McDonald's. @…
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Book comics who ask because they saw an awesome show, not the ones who ask because they saw someone bomb on your show
You wanna be at Josh and Zach's Secret Loft Party on Sunday, March 5th. Great comedy, excellent times. We will only let in 40 people and …
Can we stop calling each other "humans?" Does this bother anyone else?
Crashing was great, but definitely needed more Todd Montesi for the true grit of this scene
These will be at my wedding reception, which will be at The Buffet in Flushing. Now I just need a wife down with …
Ladies, why do so many of you put baby/kid pictures on your dating profiles? My best guess is proof you're not trans
Drake - white privilege = Big Sean
It's always a bad sign when a woman tells you to turn the seat warmers off
Once I get my business together, I'm going to open a Vietnamese spot that specially caters to people too afraid to try it, we'll call it Ph…
Whoever invented Pho deserves the Nobel Peace Prize
It's 2017, Flo competes with not only other actors but animation studios for her Progressive Insurance gigs; and that talking box is witty
Watching The Honeymooners is actually bittersweet because I know everyone involved in such a great and underrated show is now dead
The worst two words that can be said within the first 10 min of a first date are "Strike One"
Like if you remember these shows
Damn, I did not wake up early enough to originally compare the Patriots to President Trump
Win or lose, this year's Patriots team will go down as the best all-white receiving corps of all time #SB51
Happy hour till 7, $5 well $1 off beer $2 off cocktails comedy show 8pm #lowereastside #nycstandup #nycfree #oldmanhustle #nycbar
Retweeted by Josh Carter
One of my favorites, @KatieBarb rocking out a packed out #PolishedComedy
"Lego My Eggo" no longer sells me on waffles in 2017. Too many problems in the world today to add potential roommate conflicts
Interesting stuff...
FREE comedy? Tonight? Don't mind if I do!! 8pm 205 Chrystie St.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
If you can ban people from 7 states from moving to NYC, which would you choose?
How many stoners do you think inadvertently watch at least 15 min of fios one news every week?
Alex Pavone, in his own words, electrifying #PolishedComedy tonight
ha! Happy new year everybody
My DVR is still recording Honeymooners episodes which I didn't know came on this late into the new year. Is Audrey Meadows the most underr…
My most comforting thing about the new Kid Cudi album is knowing there are people out there sadder than you
Anyone want an old but suped up laptop? Dell xps with a 2.0ghz Intel i7 processor and 128gb ssd hard drive. Should have a year or two left …
So far the best thing to come from Trump's presidency is how upset it has made certain people I hate
Ironically, the hardest part about comedy to most comedians including me is not taking it too seriously
So I guess we're all officially Atlanta Falcons fans thru February
CHECK ME OUT TONIGHT 8:30PM IN @PolishedComedy AT @BeautyBarNYC! This place makes me feel like a classy lady. Plus @Subhah & @luisjgomez!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Today I have an audition to take before pictures for a weight loss commercial. Anyone know where there's a Cinnabon around me?
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