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Josh Carter

Filled out the room at #PolishedComedy @Gabe_Pacheco is rocking it as our headliner instagram.com/p/BBte6lUGeuI/
Why does Missy Elliott still dress like an obese person? #SB50
I want to open a Vietnamese BBQ restaurant only so I could call it Pho-Q
About to open for @ChrisGethard at the packed out theatre at the mass museum of contemporary… instagram.com/p/BBLx-X0GevJ/
The last Zebra Cake packed as always. #PolishedComedy starts at beauty bar next week! instagram.com/p/BBJYcWqmekM/
So happy @sesamestreet is now on @HBO. Now we finally get to see those graphic Bert and Ernie action scenes #fb
Y'all gotta try the surf n turf at Bunker @ Bunker Vietnamese instagram.com/p/BBG0dKSGeiw/
I'm voting for the canidate that outlaws mornings.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Where can I put a $5 bet down that Steven Avery will host SNL within the next 10 years? how much would I get back if it hit?
You know it's legit soul food when the waffle machine is broken and your eating chicken and French toast
The latest creation to come from the #CarterKitchen. Extra spicy and super juicy Fried Jerk… instagram.com/p/BAI1_2bmeti/
The perfect perfume for that so-so woman in your life instagram.com/p/_pJ15uGejB/
Some Halftime Inspiration for @calvinjohnsonjr
People who take up two parking spots with one car deserve to have Donald Trump campaign stickers put on their rear bumper
This is one of those nights where #zebracake is so packed I can't even walk in instagram.com/p/-5IAGxmeqV/
People sometimes think I'm gay. I'm 100% straight, but I guess I'm just not a flaming heterosexual
If I became a pastor and supported Donald Trump, he'd say "well I got a half black pastor on my side, that's a step in the right direction"
Who are the black pastors? Are they an elite group of black pastors or a random selection?
"Landlord will personally administer lethal injection if it means property value will go up" instagram.com/p/-p-M72GeiV/
I don't give myself the sharpest shape ups, but I do give myself the free-est shape ups
Skip the Olive garden and come try my newest creation, Artichoke Penne instagram.com/p/-SjFZXmehj/
Ayanna Dookie laying it down in front of a packed crowd at beauty bar! instagram.com/p/-DGGfkGen9/
Awesome time @ZebraCakeComedy last night! They packed into @BeautyBarNYC and had plenty to laugh about! #NYC #Comedy
Retweeted by Josh Carter
If you wanna get a white dude angry, tell them that Cam Newton is better than Andrew Luck #MNF #CARvsIND
I hate when someone back washes in your fiji water. Thanks a lot! Now it's Poland spring
 
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