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Josh Carter
Fast food restaurants are the only ungentrified part of Bushwick left #fb
Drake's Honey Buns are the unprotected one night stand of munchies #FridayNight #PopeinNYC #OregonState
The #nyjets just made Andrew Luck look like Geno Smith in white face. That was unbelievable! #NYJvsIND #fb
Bo Pelini is Nebraska's RC Slocum. His firing put them into the dark ages #NEBvsMIA
Pretty sure Tennessee just VOLUNTEERed to be the loser of that game #OUvsTENN
For those of you who like to pay to make your homemade food worse for you
Tiger Woods needs to jump on this history Tom Brady made and sue Elin for half his stuff back #BadPrescedents
You know you're in the hood when the bodega is selling Lucie Ho-Hos #hostess #fb
You'll know racism is over when KFC gets a black Col Sanders and nobody says anything about it
Finding out that your phone hasn't charged all night is some of the most painful news to wake up to #FirstWorldProblems
Christian Finnegan drops in for a spot on another packed out #zebracakefriday
Never put parmesan cheese on your pasta in front of your air conditioner
I only order takeout for the free Tupperware #grubhub
Good first game by @b_petty14, just needs to make sure to always be the last one out of practice and he may be the qb who breaks the cycle
And you thought your arrest experiences were bad... just met @GoshCarter at UCB east. #officerkelly
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I realized I'm good person because I'm pretty sure I felt wise about Dale Earnhardts death than his fans felt about Ol Dirty Bastard's
49% of black men get arrested by age 23, 10% of them get befriended by their arresting officer #BlackLivesMatter
I envy heroin addicts, they do what they love all day and die young and happy
Policeman befriends a man he unfairly arrested the week before, you wouldn't believe what happens next! #Buzzfeed
MTV's Amanda Seales drops in and kills it and another packed #zebracakefriday
You really know you're not going to pay a lot when a business advertises their services as "afordable"
Eating chocolate releases the same endorphins as sex in women, renting apartments releases them in men #sheletmedeposit #nooklynrentalarmy
10:30 is the time you realize it's not too early anymore and you've wasted that horrendous 8am wake up
Planet fitness at 2am is like experiencing the good part of the zombie apocalypse. Whole gym to myself!
I can't even walk into my own show because it's so packed #1stWorldProblems
Smart people realize it's better to live in Brooklyn because the view of Manhattan is way better from roofs there
FREE SHOW, 7/17, 8:30, @BeautyBarNYC: @GoshCarter hosts @iamryanbeck, Rich James, Celeste Joseph Jennings, @ItsEvanWilliams & @marknorm!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
New York City, if you can get bored here, you can get bored anywhere!
What is ranch dressing?
Hey @asvpxrocky & @ActionBronson thx for the shout out on “1Train." Not sure what it means, but let’s blaze one & talk about it some time.
Retweeted by Josh Carter

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