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Josh Carter
Why is it that you can eat a whole large #pizzahut pizza on the night its delivered but can only eat a few slices when leftover? #fb
HOLY SHIT GUYS @GoshCarter @DanSoder (VERIFIED ACCOUNT HELLO) AND @ScotlandGreen ARE ALL GONNA BE @thepitnyc WEDNESDAY NIGHT! DONT MISS IT.
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#NorthernDiscomfort s favorite drop in Jim Gaffigan is ALSO IN THE BUILDING instagram.com/p/waLSSemehx/
Kevin Nealon dropped into #NorthernDiscomfort tonight! Should've been here! instagram.com/p/waJcq6Gela/
My condolences go out to anyone forced to live on Staten Island.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I liked it better when it was embarrassing to be white based on the way we danced.
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pic.twitter.com/th80AoZhxv NO FEE 5br loft duplex on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint border! $6,900, 1 Mo. FREE! bit.ly/1rhr7mb #RT
Retweeted by Josh Carter
If you paid $10 for a Coors Light in freezing cold MetLife stadium tonight, you might like shitty light beers a little too much
Really not a fan of tweets that end in the phrase "Said no one ever"
My parents would've thanked him for saving them $12.99 "Parents outraged after principal shaves son's head myfoxorlando.com/story/27495224…"
The term #BlackFriday was actually first used to distinguish the Ice Cube movies from the Jason movies
Lawyers who represent black people are like the New York Jets of the American courthouse #fb
I don't eat free range chickens or any animal who got more living space than me #BrooklynApts
Dear @McDonalds, who would order only 3 mozzarella sticks?
My birthday wish to the Football Gods is 2 tds from @BEYOND_GREATNES and a giants victory. This would save me big time in 2 fantasy leagues
This Halloween I'm going as "Someone who doesn't read the fine print on eBay" Just got my Xbox One costume in the mail today #fb
SUCH a fun show! Thanks for having me @TheStandNYC @GoshCarter @raydevito - exciting to be surprised by some of my Maine peeps in the crowd!
Retweeted by Josh Carter
Got a very Special guest likely dropping in at #northerndiscomfort at 8pm at @TheStandNYC, you won't want to miss it #fb
Another packed out zebracake show tonight at Beauty Bar instagram.com/p/ujtQfPmeut/
Our sketch, "Not Trying to Fuck This Pumpkin," is live. You'll never think of pumpkins the same way again. youtube.com/user/TempleHor…
Retweeted by Josh Carter
In 9 years of college and NFL, Harvin has helped win three championships and now is with his fourth team.
Retweeted by Josh Carter
I call bullshit, there's no way rite aid is taking that kinda paycut on razorblades @ rite aid, 81 1st… instagram.com/p/uL8Vy2met2/
They should show the episode of 7th Heaven where the dad gets shot to make people feel better
For those of you just getting into the #nfl, don't become a jets fan unless you need more things in your life to be sad about #fb
Whoever said "it never hurts to ask" obviously never asked his girlfriend what she thinks about threesomes when she's PMSing
Awesome night at #NorthernDiscomfort. Packed on a Tuesday and a surprise drop in by @JimGaffigan.… instagram.com/p/tTyB6bGeme/
I never understood adults who are terrified of clowns (just a person wearing excessive makeup) but still watch "Basketball Wives"
Now the jets wouldve won yesterday if the refs were to get beaten with switches everytime they make a bad call
I hope the ESPN reporter who got fired for calling RG3 a "cornball brotha" gets his job back
So anyone can yell timeout & lose a team the game. What's all this woman & child beating worth if the refs can't even call a game? #nyjets
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take