Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
No
comedyquote 306,689 followers
Do u ever creep really hard on insta and click someone then go to their gf then her bff & her friends sister & ur like 8 people deep bc same
How to do sit ups: Lay down. Hands behind your head. Wow this is a good position for a nap. Maybe just take a nap.
having to turn on the subtitles on netflix because you’re eating chips
If my daughter is in 6th grade wearing crop tops and high waisted shorts I'm slapping her straight in to justice. Pick out a sparkly shirt.
White people be like "I'm not just white, I'm" 22% Irish 18% German 28% Italian 30% French 2% Milk
Hit it fergie Allthetimeicomearoundbrothersgatherroundalwayslookinatmeupanddownlookinatmyuhhhhh
i get anxious for ppl who fall asleep on public transit. like where is ur home? how many stops have u missed? this was not a time for a nap
i'd shave my legs for you
HS Teachers: "There's still a minute left of class, sit down!" College Teachers: "We still have 20 mins left but I'm done teaching so bye"
If u ever need a self esteem boost just have your mom post a decent picture of you on Facebook and read the comments
being a girl is hard bc when another girl asks you for a ponytail you have to give it to her even if it's your favorite
s/o to boys over 6 feet keep doing u
What if Netflix doubled as a dating service like "here are 7 other singles that watched Grey's Anatomy for 8 hours straight"
do u ever meet someone for the first time and pretend u have never met them but in ur head ur like "i've stalked ur Instagram"
I love girls who compliment other girls. Too many girls thinking it's a competition these days. It's nice to be nice.
I cannot wait for the day when somebody tells me I am the best thing that ever happened to them.. & they mean it
if i had $1 for every time i got called beautiful i'd have $1 thanks mom
BOYS WHO DOUBLE TEXT TO KEEP THE CONVO GOIN YOU DA REAL MVP
im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt
do you ever get really motivated to do something and you get really excited about it and then when you get home you’re just like nah
My signature move is bottle up my feelings over time and combust over some small issue and get accused for being a psycho.
do u think a stranger has ever tweeted about something you’ve done in public
The King and Queen of comedy, may they both rest well. #joanrivers #robinwilliams pic.twitter.com/dIMKRk6ztW
u dont look like 200 likes in person
i think the worst part about being a girl is that no matter how hard you try not to be emotional, you always end up being emotional
WEAR DEODORANT TO SCHOOL WEAR DEODORANT TO SCHOOL WEAR DEODORANT TO SCHOOL WEAR DEODORANT TO SCHOOL WEAR DEODORANT TO SCHOOL WEAR DEODORANT
Be with someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant
The Fault in Our Cardio. it's a metaphor, I wear running shorts but I don't run. I never let the thing that does the killing, kill me.
My hair isn't naturally curly or straight.. It's like the awkward stage between curly and straight where I can't leave it natural
hate when i lose something and my parents says "well i guess u didnt care about it enough" like youve lost me in a grocery store before so
girls all go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle
Jcrew came out with a size 000 and thankgod cause I've been meaning to buy some new clothes for my American Girl Doll
third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple
to all the clothes I left at people's houses.... miss u
don’t you hate it when you're in a relationship but the other person doesn’t know
if i dont respond to ur insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and i decided to let u live
Kinda wanna look good in a bikini, kinda wanna eat three burritos from chipotle, kinda pissed I have to pick one
too hot for ugly people too ugly for hot people
please don’t ever try to get my attention by neglecting me because i will alienate myself from you at terminal velocity
I love making people who already hate me hate me even more
have u ever introduced two friends to each other and they started hanging out without u? like I made u what u are wtf?!
The fact that Cosmo is calling this "plus-sized" is disgusting pic.twitter.com/ViwTOiwjUz
Retweeted by No
Sometimes I wish I was 25 with my life figured out & sometimes I wish I was 5 with my whole life ahead of me and not a care in the world
"and if I collect enough box tops, my class gets an ice cream party!" pic.twitter.com/JwsGCrPKe7
“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer
Unfortunately I'm the type of person that you can screw over 1 million times and I would still be there for you if you needed me
I still have eyebrows when I wash off my make up, do you?
IF YOU TELL A GIRL YOU THINK SHES PRETTY IN PERSON YOU WIN