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It turns out that not everything tastes better when heated up. That’s the last time I attempt to drink a piping hot soda.
I’ve decided to adopt a new way of walking. That poor, unpopular walking style was all alone. I just had to adopt it!
If I could have one superpower, it would be the power to cheer anyone up. Then I could defeat bad guys just by putting them in a good mood!
I was a little nervous about babysitting an electric eel. But here’s the real shocker: we had a great time!
I just got fry grease all over my lap. This is a pants-tastrophe!
If you’re thinking too hard, try thinking softly instead. That’s how we sponges like to think.
When I was laughing earlier today, Squidward told me to can it. Great idea! He’s going to love my new invention: canned laughter!
Mr. Krabs is going to let Pearl and I practice for the Boating Exam in his brand new fancy boat! What could possibly go wrong?
Sandy may be good at karate, but can she handle my new move, the Porous Pummel?! Actually yes, it turns out she can. Ow.
I dreamed that I was so rich, I would never have to work as a fry cook again. It was terrible!
I saw a nematode in the kitchen and flipped out! I think I need my spatula to flip myself back in.
They say life is what you make it. If that’s so, I’ll make mine a Krabby Patty! Delicious life, here I come.
Today we celebrate Leif Ericson, a man who sailed thousands of miles without having a Boating License! What an amazing time to be alive...
It’s true, not all of life’s problems can be solved by a Krabby Patty. The trickiest ones require ice cream AND a Krabby Patty.
I rarely speak in gibberish, but when I do it’s a glorfen bleeg oatentoate! If you know what I mean. (And if you do, please tell me.)
I was so busy today, I didn’t have time to walk Gary! That’s okay. I’ll sleepwalk him later.
Maybe the Dirty Bubble wouldn’t be such a villain, if he only weren’t so dirty. But how do you clean a bubble?
Okay dirty plate, I didn’t want to have to do this, but to get you clean, I’m going to have to use … my abrasive side!
Something smells funny. Aha, it's my joke book! I should stop keeping that next to the trash.
Someday, when Barnacle Boy is older, will he become Barnacle Man? Maybe when he turns 100?
It's true, my boating technique often results in crashed boats. But it certainly makes an impression! Sometimes a lasting one. In walls.
If you’re feeling down, you can sit on me. The width of my body will boost you up ever so slightly.
For his “internship,” Patrick told me Mr. Krabs sells him Krabby Patties as “school credit.” At this rate, he should graduate very soon!
I'm so thirsty, I feel like I could drink the ocean! But I won’t, that would be rude. Other people are still using it.
It’s true, I come from a big family. And it seems like we’re always absorbing a few more into the tribe!
They say you should look before you leap. So much for blindfolded mud puddle jumping!
Ah, home sweet home. When you live in a pineapple, home even tastes sweet.
Mr. Krabs’ integrity is not for sale! Correction: it is for sale, but it is not cheap. Correction: how much have you got?
I wouldn’t mind having more hair, but apparently some people really don’t like hair on their sponges. I wouldn’t want to offend.
For the connoisseur, we’ve added Le Krabby Patty! Just like a regular Krabby Patty, but with a sprig of parsley and a “fancy” price.
I’m learning to be more like Squidward! He told me I could start by buzzing off. But for some reason, he does not like my buzzing sounds.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing. But doing nothing is usually what gets Squidward in trouble with Mr. Krabs!
Arrrrrrrr you ready for Talk Like a Pirate Day? I’m ready to hunt for sunken treasure!
Mrs. Puff’s Boating School is expanding! Wait, actually it’s just Mrs. Puff that’s expanding. Now might be a good time to go …
Mr. Krabs told me I’m not only the best fry cook he’s ever had, I’m also the cheapest! He flatters me too much.
Patrick and I are playing Tide and Seek! The tide carries Pat away, and then I go look for him. Hopefully he’s still in this hemisphere.
How many Krabby Patties do we have in our Patty Vault? I’m not supposed to give an exact number, but it’s approximately 10,581.
Surface dwellers have water parks, but down here we have air parks! Or at least we used to. Interest seems to have dried up.
Happy Positive Thinking Day, everyone! It’s the only kind of thinking I know ☺
They say you should eat three square meals a day. Are round meals acceptable?
Mr. Krabs added a drive-through window! Our fast food just got a little faster.
Mr. Krabs told me that money talks, but I haven’t heard this dollar speak all day. Maybe money is shy?
They say a superhero lurks inside all of us. To which I say, finding enough room to lurk inside my body is an impressive superpower.
I only cry if it’s something really sad. Or at a wedding. Or a graduation ceremony. Or if the wind blows. It takes a lot to make me cry!
If you keep at it, someday you too can be like Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy! Perhaps not as heroic, but certainly as old.
How did they catch the criminal mastermind jellyfish? With a police sting, of course! Oh, that one’s so funny it hurts.
Squidward said he’d rather jump in a mud pit than spend another minute with me. He doesn’t have to choose. I can jump in with him!
Squidward cast me in his new play! I’ll be playing the part of “Usher.” Question: when I say, “Here’s your seat,” what’s my motivation?
I think I make a pretty good lifeguard. My body can also be used as a flotation device!
Someday I want to be big and strong, like that guy in the commercial! All I have to do is become a completely different person.