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comedy britain 745,944 followers
Being just half an Easter egg away from consuming 50,000 calories in one day
Being secretly quite excited by the rain
"I keep thinking it's Saturday"
Getting caught between "lovely" and "thank you" and telling a shop assistant that you love them
Completely forgetting how to speak immediately before leaving a voicemail
Ending telephone conversations by saying "thanks" for no reason whatsoever
Wondering which coat goes with: "This weekend will be warm and moderately sunny, with colder spells and a chance of rain"
Never feeling more uncomfortable than when instructed to "make yourself at home"
Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying "I think that's right"
"I might join you later" - Meaning: I'm not leaving the house today unless it's on fire.
Dealing with people making unnecessary noises by looking at them and smiling politely
Saying "anywhere here's fine" when the taxi's directly outside your front door
Being allowed to cross the road, so breaking into a jog that's the same speed as walking
Currently un-pulped, the #verybritishproblems book has been described by some as "not too bad" -
Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
Saying you're pleased with your haircut despite the deep internal sorrow it's causing you
Feeling exhausted from pretending to work for the last three hours
Weather report: Everything is bright grey.
Worrying your name sounds ridiculous every time you have to say it on the telephone
"A bit of a pickle" - Translation: A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequences.
Oh good... Wasps are back.
"Not too bad, actually" - Translation: I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.
Never being more apologetic than when forced to tell someone they're sitting on a bit of your coat
Not quite catching someone's name, meaning you must avoid them for the rest of your life
Suspecting you'd complete a marathon in record time if someone was holding a door open for you at the finish line